Husbands and wives.....

[bassman]

AVOCADOS
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.  The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk"
He replied, "They had avocados."
If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again!  Most men will get it the first time.
My work is done here!
 
THE PHONE
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary.  So he decided to buy her a cell phone.  He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
Meg was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.
The next day Meg went shopping.  Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.
"Hi Meg," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"
Meg replied, "I just love it!  It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
 

[John Schmidt]

Then there's the one about the wife that demanded a nice b'day gift. This followed a rather lengthy argument so she told her husband she had better find something sitting in the driveway that will go from 0-150 in nothing flat. The morning of her b'day arrived and she rushed to the window to see if he got her what she wanted. Sure enough, a brand new bathroom scale was sitting in the middle of the driveway.

[Farside]