Marriage in Heaven

[Big Tom 10628]

On their way to the church to get married, a young Catholic couple
were involved in a fatal car accident.

Being good Catholics the young couple find themselves sitting outside
the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married
in Heaven?

When St. Peter finally showed up, they asked him.

St Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked.
Let me go find out" and he leaves them sitting at the Gate.

After three months, St Peter finally returns, looking somewhat
bedraggled. "Yes" he informs the couple " I can get you married in
Heaven".

"Great!" said the couple "But we were just wondering, what if things
don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

"You must be bloody joking" says St. Peter, red-faced with
frustration, slamming his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple".

"OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted "It took me three months to find a
priest up here .....Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find
a lawyer?

[Jess from VA]

 A priest and a lawyer died and went to heaven. They were met by Saint Peter at the gate, who told them he would be giving them some transportation to get around in. He gave the lawyer a big white limousine. The priest was given a bicycle. The priest said "wait a minute" you gave the lawyer a limousine and me a bicycle. Why is that? St. Peter replied, oh we get a lot of priests in Heaven, but this is the first time a lawyer has made it.

How can you tell the difference between an attorney lying dead in the road and a coyote lying dead in the road? With the coyote, you usually see skid marks.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?     How many can you afford?

What do you get if you send the Godfather to law school?    An offer you can't understand.

A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed "Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man." The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.


Q: What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?
A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.