|
da prez
|
 |
« Reply #1080 on: September 15, 2024, 06:41:16 AM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #1081 on: September 15, 2024, 07:07:39 AM » |
|
Hey Ross, sometimes reality is hilarious. Case in point...my grandson. I enjoyed ribbing him...over and over in my own "gentle" manner!  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1082 on: September 15, 2024, 08:31:10 AM » |
|
Chinese restaurant sign.....
We not see your cat.
Quit asking!!
Try our chicken.....
Its purrrrrfect!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1083 on: September 16, 2024, 05:40:32 AM » |
|
On a positive note.....
I bet no one in Ohio is identifying
as a cat anymore....
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1084 on: September 21, 2024, 11:34:03 AM » |
|
Interviewer: " How did you meet your husband?"
Wife: "He burned me at the stake in 1645 and I swore revenge in another life!!!"
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1085 on: September 21, 2024, 05:39:23 PM » |
|
I got kicked out of church today....
I had alka seltzer and bath bombs in my
pocket when I was getting baptized.
Everyone started running and screaming
when the water started bubbling and
changing colors.....
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
henry 008
Member
Posts: 1523
BRP
willard, oh
|
|
« Reply #1086 on: September 23, 2024, 12:53:26 PM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Safe Winds... Brother  |
|
|
|
Serk
|
|
« Reply #1087 on: September 24, 2024, 07:55:07 AM » |
|
Why did the chicken cross the road?
.....to get to the slaughterhouse.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...  IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1088 on: September 24, 2024, 04:23:33 PM » |
|
Ever notice there are no lines
For the bathrooms at a waterpark?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1089 on: September 26, 2024, 02:06:22 PM » |
|
I think my wife has early signs of Altheimers....
She says she cant remember what she ever saw in me...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1090 on: September 26, 2024, 04:05:59 PM » |
|
Only during a hurricane can you but a tarp, rope, and duct tape and no one batts an eye
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1091 on: September 28, 2024, 05:29:18 AM » |
|
People say "True Love" is the best feeling in the world.....
I think it is when you have Diarrhea and find a toilet.....
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1092 on: September 28, 2024, 08:08:25 AM » |
|
Grandma once said...
Sometimes you have to hug people you don't like....
So you will know how big a hole to dig in the backyard...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1093 on: October 01, 2024, 06:24:19 PM » |
|
I went to the doctor with hearing problems. The doctor asked if I could describe the Symptoms. I said "Yeah, Homer is the fat dude and the blue haired woman is Marge."
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
da prez
|
|
« Reply #1094 on: October 11, 2024, 05:12:25 AM » |
|
Tired of being picked on as the dumb blond , she said she was going to learn the capitol of all the states. She studied and was finally satisfied she had all of them memorized.
The next get together , she made a comment as to her new found knowledge.
Anyone name a state and I will tell you the capitol.
Someone shouted out Montana. Thats easy , M
da prez
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #1095 on: October 12, 2024, 12:54:04 PM » |
|
You know you're old when you have to enter your birth date in your smart phone, and you get to the year and you have to spin that sucker like the Wheel of Fortune. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1096 on: October 12, 2024, 02:39:36 PM » |
|
Off of Facebook.....
Older guy sitting in his rocking chair on the porch. His wife says " you know... my friend Julie got alztheimers and her poor husband is just beside himself trying to take care of her....you know....if I ever get alztheimers I think I will just do myself in so I wont be a burden on you."
The husband says "You know honey....thats the eighth time you have told me that today."
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
da prez
|
|
« Reply #1097 on: October 17, 2024, 06:49:28 AM » |
|
Pappy said "line up all the cars in the world , and someone would try to pass"!
If BS was music , politicians would have a brass band!
If you had sawdust instead of brains , at least it would retain water. (think about it)
da prez
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #1098 on: October 17, 2024, 01:40:24 PM » |
|
Comment on FB: The English language is strange, so many words have silent consonants in them. For example...the "K" in knife, the "P" in swimming! |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1099 on: October 20, 2024, 09:43:48 AM » |
|
My wife and I have sex almost every day.....
Almost on Monday....
Almost on Tuesday.....
Almost on Wednesday....
etc...etc...etc
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
da prez
|
|
« Reply #1100 on: October 21, 2024, 04:14:41 AM » |
|
So I was in a stand up comedy club on stage. "How many blond jokes are there ,I asked"?
Hundreds , thousands , millions came the responses.
" There are only two, I responded", all the rest are true!
The blond in back yelled "which two?
da prez
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1101 on: October 21, 2024, 09:05:25 AM » |
|
I'm not saying I order a lot from Amazon....but
I just recieved a wedding invitation from one of their drivers...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1102 on: October 21, 2024, 09:08:03 AM » |
|
One of these days you are going to find someone who is obsessed with you.
Its probly going to be a dog.....
But it is what it is.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #1103 on: October 21, 2024, 03:41:36 PM » |
|
I'm not saying I order a lot from Amazon....but
I just recieved a wedding invitation from one of their drivers...
I need to forward that to my daughter. I joked with the driver one day when I was there when he delivered. I commented about how often he must deliver to that address, he laughed and said hers was one of three all the drivers know exactly where it is, most of the other deliveries they have to look it up or use a GPS. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Serk
|
|
« Reply #1104 on: October 26, 2024, 11:25:19 AM » |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #1105 on: October 28, 2024, 02:17:06 PM » |
|
I know, it's a bead breaker for go-kart tires.  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
da prez
|
|
« Reply #1106 on: October 31, 2024, 01:46:38 PM » |
|
Another Blond joke (or is it)
Blond girl comes home from school. Mommy ,Mommy , we learned to count today. The other kids could only count to 6. I counted all the way to nine. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9. Is that because I'm blond Mommy. Yes dear.
Next day she comes home from school. Mommy, Mommy , we learned the alphabet today. The other kids could only go to F. But I could ti J. A B C D E F G H I J. Is that because I'm blond Mommy. Yes dear.
Mommy, Mommy , we had gym class today and after class we took showers. She picks up her halter top and said , I'm the only one that had these. Is that because I'm blond Mommy. No , it's because you are 24.
da prez
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
bassman
|
|
« Reply #1107 on: November 04, 2024, 03:35:55 AM » |
|
In an effort to get votes, Kamala goes to an extremely poor and run down Indian reservation.
Surrounded by news crews, she meets the Chief, and she says, I'm here to help. How can I help you! The Chief replies, We have 3 desperate needs, first we have a medical clinic but no doctor. Kamala whips out her phone, dials, talks 2 minutes and hangs up. She says, I've pulled some strings and your new doctor will arrive in a few days, now what is your second need? The Chief replies, We have no clean water to drink, the local mine has poisoned the water and bottled water has emptied our meager bank account! Back to the phone, she yells and screams for 6 minutes and hangs up. Smiling, she says, The mine is shut down and the company will build you a water purification plant asap! Now, what is your 3rd problem?
The Chief looks at her menacingly and says.
WE HAVE NO CELLPHONE RECEPTION!
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1108 on: November 05, 2024, 03:47:41 AM » |
|
When I die....
I want a jack in the box hand crank installed on my casket.....
And see if anybody has the guts to crank it.....
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1109 on: November 05, 2024, 04:21:53 AM » |
|
I'm going to have to stop letting my daughter stay at my grandparents house...
I asked her how old she is going to be on her birthday and she said....
" the good Lord willing I'll be 4"
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1110 on: November 05, 2024, 05:41:07 AM » |
|
According to German researchers....
If women get plenty of sleep,
It lowers the risk of strokes,
High blood pressure,
Diabettes,
And heart attacks........in men
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1111 on: November 05, 2024, 06:08:20 AM » |
|
My wife sent me a sweet text that read...
"If you are sleeping...send me your dreams"...
"If you are laughing...send me your smiles"...
"If you are crying...send me your tears.... I love you..."
I replied...
I'm on the toilet.....please advise...."
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1112 on: November 08, 2024, 11:52:59 AM » |
|
I went out bar hoping last nite...
Got bad drunk....
Woke up next to some gal snoring and farting....
Knew I had made it home ok....
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Serk
|
|
« Reply #1113 on: November 09, 2024, 02:09:23 PM » |
|
My perspective:
I get it, you hated him 4 years ago and you still hate him now. I've seen a lot of hate thrown his way, but this guy is a consistent winner and an overachiever. Call it jealousy or envy, some people just can't handle how successful he is and how much money he has.
Yes, there have been some scandals, some lies, and maybe a few times he's twisted the truth to make himself look better; but he's out there every day proving his haters wrong - time after time.
You may not have wanted him in this job, but there's nothing you or I can do about it. I know it might get worse over the next several weeks, but like him or not, Tom Brady is doing a great job as a broadcaster.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1114 on: November 10, 2024, 05:58:15 AM » |
|
Old man sitting in his rocking chair.....
His son comes up and says "well Dad, me and my wife had an argument and we are breaking up."
Dad says " Well son it takes two to create a marital argument, so, if you are going to blame her for the argument...you are going to have to blame her mother too..."
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1115 on: November 10, 2024, 06:22:31 AM » |
|
Do people that drop $200 on "colon cleanses" realize that
Taco Bell's $3.99 Taco Special will do the same thing?
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
da prez
|
|
« Reply #1116 on: November 20, 2024, 04:37:21 AM » |
|
Every day around mid-night , I'm shocked to find out it's only 6PM.
da prez
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #1117 on: November 20, 2024, 08:12:28 AM » |
|
Every day around mid-night , I'm shocked to find out it's only 6PM.
da prez
Ain't it the truth. When we go on DST for six months, you'd think enough daylight had been saved so we could use a little of it in the evening during winter. But NOOO...the gov't. has better use of it, so they say. I mean, you save money to use later so where is all that daylight that was saved. It's now "later" so where did they bank that daylight? |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
h13man
Member
Posts: 1745
To everything there is an exception.
Indiana NW Central Flatlands
|
|
« Reply #1118 on: November 21, 2024, 05:23:21 AM » |
|
Me being close to the western side of Eastern time line, how in the heck do you folks just on the other side put up with the early darkness? I can see criminals getting the benefit from this. They don't like to work the morning shift as much.  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
DIGGER
|
|
« Reply #1119 on: November 23, 2024, 03:57:33 AM » |
|
A guy tried to sell me a coffin yesterday....
Thats the last thing I need...
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
