Yes, Again...

[DDT (12)]

Yes, Again…

Maybe it’s just me… Certainly at least some portion of it has to be me… perhaps even the lion’s share. I don’t know about that, but one thing is for absolute sure: I always feel better and am more at peace when I’m alone. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being with others because I do; it’s more that… Well, after varying amounts of time, I begin to suffer from what I’ve come to refer to as ‘acute social fatigue’.

There are no set amounts of tolerable exposure to close companionship for this normally reclusive wanderer. Sometimes after only a couple of days, dissolution becomes necessary… Other times I can hang on for several weeks before running the risk of fallout; however, there are no ‘indefinite’ periods ever! The downward negative spiral never seems to ease-up either, until I can break away and wander off… solo… Only then can I regain my balance and return to that feeling of elation to which I’ve grown so addicted.

Following a very brief but business-like conversation in which I’d informed my companion that we’d reached a good spilt-up point, I gave him simple, matter-of-fact instructions about how to depart our location and make his way to his home a not particularly strenuous day’s ride away. No emotion, no discussion, no critiquing, no displays of surprise… perhaps he was as ready for this as I was.

I had mixed feelings as he stoically returned to the room and began packing then loading his gear. I stood there contemplating the failure to complete our agreed upon ride with only a couple of days remaining and perhaps the highlight of the entire ride still ahead. I felt bad, disappointed, and like I was letting someone down. On the other hand, I had pretty much reached the end of my tether, so I was quite happy with the thought of being on my own again, and I was very much looking forward to a return to the much missed coddiewomple!

I didn’t know what to say, but I truly didn’t want to have a discussion of the matter either. He went right along with that never offering to initiate any dialog or even ask any questions. He’d just accepted things and done his own thing without a word. I felt a bit awkward, helpless as we exchanged goodbyes, courtesy thanks, handshakes, yadda yadda… the usual social protocol stuff. He then finished final mounting preparations, and shortly he was off. I just stood there feeling a bit lost as I watched him ride away, and I continued watching to make sure he got on the interstate highway going in the right direction… he did… Maybe I’d underestimated his navigational skills after all.

I stood outside my now ‘single’ room to survey the sky and overall look of things. I noticed our girl still resting peacefully under her cover, waiting patiently… also alone for the first time in a little more than two weeks. The temp was still brisk, but much promise was to be found in the rapidly clearing cloud cover. A couple in the next motel room over exited their temporary domicile and made their way to their car… they were squabbling a bit. Who knows, maybe I’m not so out of it after all…

DDT

[..]

‘acute social fatigue’.

 

[f6john]

Glad I was able to touch base with you for a few minutes, always enjoy our encounters no matter how brief. I did see  a “Sasquatch” looking fellow bawling his eyes out but didn’t approach to see what had distressed him so much! 

[Valkorado]

Just quit pissing everyone off, you grumpy curmudgeon!   

Seriously, sometimes it's best riding sans-compadre.  You have a gypsy soul and tend to zig where some might be inclined to zag, anyways!



Why deny yourself of those spontaneous whims?

Enjoy the solitude!

[shortleg]

As far as being with people and being by ones self, I will tell you that
 Many great people in history have been the same way.
Abraham  Lincoln was one for example. He showed some of his
Greatest works to the public only after being by himself to
Contemplate what needed to be done and as history shows
What needed to be said.
   So as far as being with people and not being with them consider
Yourself among some of this worlds greatest.

[Farside]

    Well, You know it's going to happen and when it hits you, BANG! IMO it's  in your fabric Bruce The way I see it is; You take a break to team up with a rider friend but after solo riding as long as you have being in total control, then to spend a week or better with a rider who is so excited to be out with you, YIKES! Can't blame them I guess for being excited and talkative. They are not trained, so it's like a cocktail that is shaken not stirred, but more agitated full of bubbles. That guest rider needs to understand how they're in your world and they are invited to take part in it. I hate that your last experience ended that way. I've always told folks that I'd never want to wear out my welcome. I think I recognize when others need their space better than most.   So with that said " What month is good for you for us to team up on a 2 week ride?     

[RNFWP]

Like playing with a balloon.
POP!
  Oops, a little startled...
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. 

[Serk]

I feel this post even more than most of yours.

People often seem to take offense when I decline offers for rides with them. I just don't care for riding with other people (Other than my own spawn or spouse, butI get a little edgy even then.)

I actually like people, or at least Valk people, just don't like riding with others. When I wanna stop I wanna stop, when I wanna go, I wanna go. When I wanna pull over and take a look at the interesting whatever that caught my eye, I wanna pull over and take a look at that interesting whatever that caught my eye, etc.....

[carolinarider09]

I feel very much like Serk.  Since I retired, 99% of my rides have been solo (sometimes with the spouse sometimes not).   

In the beginning I did a group ride (four of us) to Key West.  A learning experience.  Then another foursome and then an eightsome and then back to friends from work (four of us).  The only issue was the Harley in the group.   

Today, I like to be able to go, stop, ride in the center, on the left side of the ride, slow or fast, as I wish.   

I know, it might be selfish but........   I find it so much more like what I envisioned motorcycle riding was about.

Its about FREEDOM!!!!!

Sorry (DDT for sort of stealing your thread). 

[The emperor has no clothes]

Yes, Again…

Maybe it’s just me… Certainly at least some portion of it has to be me… perhaps even the lion’s share. I don’t know about that, but one thing is for absolute sure: I always feel better and am more at peace when I’m alone. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being with others because I do; it’s more that… Well, after varying amounts of time, I begin to suffer from what I’ve come to refer to as ‘acute social fatigue’.

There are no set amounts of tolerable exposure to close companionship for this normally reclusive wanderer. Sometimes after only a couple of days, dissolution becomes necessary… Other times I can hang on for several weeks before running the risk of fallout; however, there are no ‘indefinite’ periods ever! The downward negative spiral never seems to ease-up either, until I can break away and wander off… solo… Only then can I regain my balance and return to that feeling of elation to which I’ve grown so addicted.

Following a very brief but business-like conversation in which I’d informed my companion that we’d reached a good spilt-up point, I gave him simple, matter-of-fact instructions about how to depart our location and make his way to his home a not particularly strenuous day’s ride away. No emotion, no discussion, no critiquing, no displays of surprise… perhaps he was as ready for this as I was.

I had mixed feelings as he stoically returned to the room and began packing then loading his gear. I stood there contemplating the failure to complete our agreed upon ride with only a couple of days remaining and perhaps the highlight of the entire ride still ahead. I felt bad, disappointed, and like I was letting someone down. On the other hand, I had pretty much reached the end of my tether, so I was quite happy with the thought of being on my own again, and I was very much looking forward to a return to the much missed coddiewomple!

I didn’t know what to say, but I truly didn’t want to have a discussion of the matter either. He went right along with that never offering to initiate any dialog or even ask any questions. He’d just accepted things and done his own thing without a word. I felt a bit awkward, helpless as we exchanged goodbyes, courtesy thanks, handshakes, yadda yadda… the usual social protocol stuff. He then finished final mounting preparations, and shortly he was off. I just stood there feeling a bit lost as I watched him ride away, and I continued watching to make sure he got on the interstate highway going in the right direction… he did… Maybe I’d underestimated his navigational skills after all.

I stood outside my now ‘single’ room to survey the sky and overall look of things. I noticed our girl still resting peacefully under her cover, waiting patiently… also alone for the first time in a little more than two weeks. The temp was still brisk, but much promise was to be found in the rapidly clearing cloud cover. A couple in the next motel room over exited their temporary domicile and made their way to their car… they were squabbling a bit. Who knows, maybe I’m not so out of it after all…

DDT

Part of what I enjoy the most about your stories is how so honest you are in them. It makes me realize how much room I have to grow. Isn’t it funny how even simple, elemental feelings are socialized in us to be tamped down ? I know everyone in my life has a “shelf life”, even Brenda, Brayden, Shaelyn. I seldom get anxious, but I will have to admit a little at the prospect of the next 3 months in a 24’ motorhome with us.  (I doubt you are out of it)

[Jess from VA]

Most of my 50yrs of riding has been solo.   But I also did a lot of 2-4s, 5-7s, and larger on occasion.  

Mostly its not I like to ride alone as much as I go when I feel like going.  

I do enjoy rides of 2-5 or so, but only if every rider is fully skilled and on a reliable machine..... with no wheelies, burnouts, shooting, trying to race the cops, drinking, or other shenanigans beyond good spirited riding and fun.

The only big groups I'll go on anymore is Valks and Inzane and those have always been great (Except for Mark's mud trail ride at Roanoke   )

[The emperor has no clothes]

The only big groups I'll go on anymore is Valks and Inzane and those have always been great (Except for Mark's mud trail ride at Roanoke   )

I think that was my favorite of the week. 

[Thunderbolt]

Iris wanted me to comment for her on this subject.  She says thanks for putting up with her on our rides in the past.  She also feels the same way regarding being around folks.  She likes her peace and solitude.

[trout dude]

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you Bruce  I have seen a lot of this country following behind you and Ali   I have seen things I probably would not have seen so for that thank you so much   I hope you get you some alone time and get to regroup and we will see you soon

[valkmc]

I also prefer to ride alone. I do like others. I have just accepted that there are times I do not need, want, or enjoy company.

Being a school teacher I have taken long solo rides each summer for the last twenty years and have done almost all of them alone. They provide balance and sanity in my life and I am lucky enough to have family who understand.

I like the term acute social fatigue, it describes how I feel often when in groups for extended periods!

[Rams]

While I thoroughly enjoyed the few minutes we spent together in Slade this past weekend, I most surely hope I didn't add too much fatigue to that acute social interaction.    I exited after only a few minutes when I realized you seemed tired and cold.   Thought you might want to get back into the room to warmup and rest.   

What I will say is that interacting with you always has left me with an appreciation for your friendship and a long-lasting feeling of fellowship.    Few people I've met have ever made me feel more welcomed to visit.   I thank you for that.

Just wanted to say howdy.    But I do understand the desire for solitary confinement at times.   Generally, I don't like big group rides but the truth is, I really only go to such events for the social value it contributes to my soul.   I really enjoy solo riding.    Even though I tend to be a social butterfly and visit with everyone there, a bit of alone time is always welcomed.

Rams

[Bigwolf]

It was good to read that.  Well, not for the discomfort that you felt, but for it bringing into the light that every relationship brings with it adjustments and concessions.

I remember, in the days before our first long ride together, discussing the certainty of irritations in companionship and how we would deal with them.  I am glad that we did!  I believe that was an important part of preparation for that ride.

It is not just you!  There is great freedom and comfort in riding where you want when you want at the pace you want and to change any of the above at any moment.  I too feel more peace when running solo!

I also believe this story serves to remind all of us to be more aware of the concessions companions are making for us and to make an effort to minimize those.

For what it is worth, I do not know anyone that puts more effort into getting along with people than you do Bruce.  I feel very lucky to have seen the sights I’ve seen and ridden roads that I would have missed had I not been following you.  I know, also, that you made it your task to lead me over those roads and to show me those sights.  I will forever be grateful and indebted to you for that!

So get your solo coddiewomple on and please keep writing!  I am just one of many that love to read the stories of your journey.


Bigwolf

[RainMaker]

I certainly don't wander a fraction of the time that you do, being marriage blessed and such, but find myself enjoying solo riding more than group rides these days.  I do have a couple of guys who think and ride in a similar style and don't get too wound up if I want to stop often, detour and uturn a lot just to see an interesting area - we just enjoy the ride.  A group ride of 2 - 3 bikes is fine in most cases but only with these 2 guys.

However, there are times when it's nice to ride in a group, especially when I forget to put the kickstand down......

RainMaker

[Willow]

... find myself enjoying solo riding more than group rides these days.  ...

However, there are times when it's nice to ride in a group, especially when I forget to put the kickstand down... 

I find myself, based upon personal experience, in complete agreement with these thoughts.