Honesty and other forms of deception...

[DDT (12)]

 

Not so long ago, I was perched upon a bar stool deep in thought, as sometimes happens. Quite unexpectedly, a lady I’ve known for a couple of years (nothing romantic, however) sat down beside me. She wanted to talk. We chatted about this and that, and then she began to share her thoughts on recently becoming ‘unattached’.

She mused aloud about wanting to find her ‘soulmate’; someone with whom she could take long walks on the beach, snuggle on the couch and watch girly flix, and have herself placed upon a pedestal by a man devoted to her and to making her life the envy or all other women… Geeez, plagiarism is definitely alive and well!!! I’ve been reading that very same stuff online in countless profiles on those singles dating sites. Apparently she has been reading some of the same ones to get ideas. She went on to add, “I get so tired of kissing frogs in hopes of finding Prince Charming…” WOW, yet another ‘original’ line…

The conversation continued about ‘what women desire in a man’, and I kept thinking to myself, I fer sure and fer certain ain’t goin’ nowhere near none of that! I didn’t say as much, however; I just politely listened (Lincoln once said “Good listeners often gain reputations for being great conversationalists”). I did, however, nod and grunt now and then to let her know I was actually awake and listening…

We said our good-byes in time, and she departed. She thanked me on her way out for a much needed venting session, and then I watched her exit. I thought to myself as the door closed behind her, “If you ever need another such conversation, darlin’, I ain’t hard to find… I’ll be right here… down at the pond on my usual lily pad.”

OK ladies, I know some of you are probably thinking, “Guys just don’t get women.” Well, I do concede that for the most part you are undeniably correct; but, there is another side to that coin… Let me try to explain…

You tell us that you demand honesty from a guy, and then you brutally punish us when we give it to you. Now don’t go ballistic just yet, stay with me a little longer… OK? While we move along this line of thought, I’d like for you to keep in mind a couple of plain and simple truisms… Behavior that gets rewarded gets repeated. Behavior that gets ignored or punished gets dropped over time. Oh, and one more absolute factoid: Both sexes come hard-wired from the factory with somewhat different sexualities, plus one huge physical difference… Yeah, I’m talkin’ about that tool y’all use to essentially control much of our lives.

You expect long walks on the beach… with a guy who basically only wants to stroll there to get to the next beach bar. You want to snuggle on the sofa and watch girly flix… While the snugglin' part would be OK, any guy who actually enjoys that stuff on TV probably wouldn’t be interested in you anyway… “No games, please… Players need not apply,” you say. Well, what the heck do you call that honesty trap you so cunningly set for us? Fact is you don’t want the truth from us: You simply want us to tell you what you want to hear. And so it goes… Since you have that incredibly powerful leverage device at your disposal, not to mention sole control of its use, we go ahead and pretend to really want to do those things… and you pretend to appreciate our integrity, sensitivity, and ‘general goodness’… for awhile…

There are three things that guys can get behind on more quickly than any others, yet we can get caught up on them just about as fast: Eatin’, drinkin’, and ka-noodlin’. Sooner or later, though, when our appetites for that terrific trifecta are all sated at the exact same time, we will become complacent and let our guard down. That’s right; in a moment of carelessness, somehow some way, the real truth about something will inadvertently slip out and… WHAM! Y’all will lower the boom on us.

We then have no choice but to apologize profusely, grovel shamelessly, and tearfully make all manner of insincere excuses, explanations, alibis… and promises. Yes, blackmail comes in many forms… Retribution and penance are usually ruthless and often lengthy. In the end, though, our performance usually pays off, and we eventually do get rewarded by and by for our total abandonment of pride, dignity, and self respect. In other words, liars get laid, but honesty yields only chronic, involuntary celibacy.

Anyway, that’s how I see it… If any of y’all would like to discuss this further… you know where to find me…

DDT

[Thunderbolt]

What do you think we are, crazy?

[DDT (12)]

Terry,

I just hope Iris doesn't mis-construe the comment you did make!!! Hope to see y'all at Cheaha... Of course, I won't count on being able to borrow a sweat shirt this time if it turns cold... Good luck!

DDT

[sandy]

Men and women are mutually exclusive species which are compatible for reproduction only. 

[Black Dog]

DDT,

I always thought of you as a worldly and wise man. 

I printed this, and will keep it for ever...

Truer words have never been spoken 

The soon to be single...
Black Dog

[Daniel Meyer]

Hey DDT! Great to read some 'O your ponderings again!

[fudgie]

Its true that liars do get laid but I think the honest ones get laid longer.  ??? You can only run a game for so long.
I learned alot from my 1st marriage. Now I'll be going into my second this rally season and it has been totally different, for the better. We never ask to much from each other, esp if we want, but know we are unable to give. To us a good night is spent on the couch alone or cruising down the road for ice cream. We get along better then I thought I could with someone. There is no jealousy. We both check out chics, she checks the guys by herself.  We make fun of each other but it never turns hatefull, its all in good fun. There is a age differance but she does not show her age. I can tell you I feel old somedays!
We are honest with each other and that allows for no deception.

Good to see you posting DDT.

[John Schmidt]

Hey DDT! Great to read some 'O your ponderings again!

I couldn't agree more. So Bruce, where have you been hiding lately, doing anything interesting?

Take care.

[Thunderbolt]

I think he picked them up from folks before him.  One of his favorites was "Women have something that will sell when cotton won't". 
Yeah maybe you won't need to borrow anything to keep you warm.  Just hope that doesn't mean it will be wet.

[Black Pearl's Captain]

I've never met anyone so full of BS as DDT.

I love you RHonda.

Raymond (headed for the bedroom)

[Smokinjoe-VRCCDS#0005]

Words to live by...

" Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and does'nt die "

[Kendall]

You have a almost magical outlook of life at times. How ya been havent heard from ya in ages..

[Big Rig]

Words to live by...

" Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and does'nt die "

[~ Timbrwolf]

. . ....sorry to hear Dog. ....life is a journey...isnt it. .....know that your friends surround you. ....expecially in Northern Michigan. .....you are one of our.....true friends....and Chili and I are there for you.....stay strong.....the season is comming....and soon the wind will be sweet once more. ......you got our number....and you know the way to our hacienda..

DDT,

I always thought of you as a worldly and wise man. 

I printed this, and will keep it for ever...

Truer words have never been spoken 

The soon to be single...
Black Dog

[stormrider]

My fingers want to respond on this here keyboard but my memory of .............. what was I gonna say? hummm, oh well, hope to see ya soon. If we ever break ground in Wetumpka, I'll let you know so we can share some wind while up there.

[Jack]

A woman goes out to find the "perfect" man.  Once she finds him, she sets out to change him.  It is always amazing to me how I become a SOB about once a month for a week.

[junior]

A woman goes out to find the "perfect" man.  Once she finds him, she sets out to change him.  It is always amazing to me how I become a SOB about once a month for a week.

I am glad to see that i aint the only one...............lol

[bogator]

 Sorry guy's, but I have to agree with DDT,he has hit the nail rite on the head.....maybe that is why I'm single,some of those things I just cannot do,like sitting on the couch and watching girlie movies.    WOW,  walking on the beach, well I'm to old to worry about that anyway.  HAVE A BLESSED DAY ALL.         

[Jess from VA]

DDT, your observations are not always true.... but they are true more often than not.

Women have sex with men so they will talk to them.

Men talk to women so they will have sex with them.

Having just lived thru the crash and burn of a 23yr marriage that was excellent and happy for many years, I have decided I am done with the gentler (HA!) species..... forever!  I am no longer driven by the little head.  I may die lonely, but I'll be sane and there will be peace (if not piece).  If I ever falter in this decision, I hereby authorize anyone here to come over and shoot me.  Please!

The solution to your dilemma is simple.  If the sex is sufficiently important to you, do and say what you have to to get it.  Otherwise, be yourself and tell the truth as you see it, and let the chips fall where they may.   I personally will trade sex for sanity and self respect every time.  If I happen to run across a female looking for that special soul mate, I will tell her to move away from the table and keep looking.......

This Just in:
A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.   However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected. 

[barbarianthemadserb]

Dang, I could not agree more with what has been said here!  And I thought I was the only one with those thoughts about relationships and women.
 

[stormrider]

Does the term "leaglized prostitution" seem appropriate?

[flamingobabe #44]

Y'all talk about girlie movie...what I think is a girlie movie and hg thinks is a girlie movie.....you get the picture

[cutter]

That's why I have 2 jobs. Keeps me out of trouble.... 

[Serk]

The problem is, the kind of man most women want... Well, those kinds of men already have boyfriends most of the time!

[Pete]

If one starts with the premise that Men and Women do not speak the same language AND that the words spoken do not have the same meaning   ------   you will be ahead of the game.

[big turkey]

I think in my current state of celibacy, married, I need to start lyeing more and soon.

I hv almost lost interest and that is scary, but then again i am married.

I think if I start the lying immediately i may reach paydirt by next year about this same time.

Been telling her the truth for about two years now.

So you see where that has gotten me.

And she even reminds me it has been 9 months since I have been rewarded so to speak.

But riding is almost as fun , but not quiet the same.

And then when we get together she reminds me how good I am at the deed.

Go figure.

Big Al

[MAD6Gun]

 Good to hear from you Bruce. Hope to  see you again sometime.

On a related note. I have been single a very long time. After a long and exhausting search I found someone that I care for very much and cares for me as well. She wants me to be honest with her and her with me. She tells me what she thinks and I her.  No sugar coating here. It is refreshing to find someone that you can be honest with without the worries of being hit with a frying pan or such, LOL. She respects my opinions and I hers.

 I spend a lot of time with Twila. I think she is beutiful ( she does not) Smart and funny. She is a overall wonderful person. She is recently devorced so is a little gun shy on the whole relationship thing and has even told me she never wants to get married again. I tell her "never is a long time". Her ex hurt her very much so I am respecting her feeling and taking it slow.

 I am planing on going to Inzane and it looks like she will be coming with me.....

[big turkey]

Ole Elvis could get them goning without the addition of a Drink I affectionately call a, Leg Spreader.

Nope did not make that up.

Now with a name like that, how could they miss the point.

Elvis Presley - Burning Love	powered by Aeva

[Westernbiker]

Live your life! Be who you are! Do what you want! If others don't like it SCREW'EM! You didn't need them in your life anyway! There are many woman out there who will accept you for who you are, forget the others. Yes! I am single, I am who I am and I do have many (not bragging here) women friends that love me for who I am. You have to be yourself and don't worry about what others think or see. This is your time on this earth don't spend it trying to be who you are NOT! Enjoy life! And yes I was married ONCE! for 16 years. I will NOT be foolish enough to do that again! Eat what you want, do what you want, live like no tomorrow because one day there will be no tomorrow!!!!!!!
I'll get off my soapbox now, sorry for the rant but this thread got me TWEEKED! Can ya tell? LOL!

[czuch]

Marry a fat mean ugly one so youre never let down anyway.

[Willow]

Very well written, Mr. Bugslayer.   I always enjoy your prose.  It's cleverly stated with a thread of truth running through it.

However, I must say that after reading your piece and the responses to it I have come to the conclusion that I am much more complex than are many of my male friends and certainly am less dependent upon the services provided by the weaker vessels.   

(That was long speak for, "Some of you guys are absolutely pathetic.     )   

[Charlie]

Very well written, Mr. Bugslayer.   I always enjoy your prose.  It's cleverly stated with a thread of truth running through it.

However, I must say that after reading your piece and the responses to it I have come to the conclusion that I am much more complex than are many of my male friends and certainly am less dependent upon the services provided by the weaker vessels.   

(That was long speak for, "Some of you guys are absolutely pathetic.     )   

I think you said that because Lori reads these threads too.  Just in case Linda ever comes on here, I couldn't agree with you more!

[Jack]

certainly am less dependent upon the services provided by the weaker vessels.   

  

Sounds like you are getting old, thats all, Willow! 

[FryeVRCCDS0067]

The milk is nearly always sweeter and freer flowing before you buy the cow.

[Willow]

The milk is nearly always sweeter and freer flowing before you buy the cow.

Only if you've bought the wrong cow.    

[Super Santa]

You might be careful calling anyone a 'cow'.  Some of them just might resent that.

[big turkey]

That DDT guy, can sure spin a yarn, in pastel pattern, that cannot be easily unwoven, by the best

of weavers, on a battleship full of cotton, in a field full of sheep, shorn by a blind tailor, in

a tweed jacket.

Al

[Duffy]

 

Al - are you ok?