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Author Topic: Been around before....Passport application. :)  (Read 1483 times)
John Schmidt
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*****
Posts: 15231


a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike

De Pere, WI (Green Bay)


« on: April 04, 2011, 09:19:54 PM »

I don't know....or care, if this is actually a true story....it's humorous. So, if anyone feels compelled to comment on the veracity of the posting that follows, please do the following: stick one thumb in your mouth, the other where the "sun doesn't shine".....NOW SWITCH! Barring a misguided tour, that should keep your mind otherwise occupied instead of bothering the rest of us with your self-proclaimed profundity.  angel

John
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


THIS IS PRICELESS:
ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER SENT BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT........PRICELESS!!!!
     
 
Dear Mrs. Ms. or Sir:
 
I am in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.
 
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (23 years ago), and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
 
For Pete's sakes, do you guys do this by hand?  Ever heard of computers?
     
My birth date you have in my social security file. It's on EVERY income tax form I've filed  for the past 30 years. It's on my Medicare health insurance card and my driver's license, It's on the last eight damn passports I've had, It's on every stupid customs declaration form I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane for the last 30 years. And it's on all those census forms that we have to do at election times. 
 
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'm reasonably confident that neither name is likely to change between now and when I die.   
 
Between you n' me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic bullshit!
 
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my #*&#%*& address. 
 
What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons working there! 
 
Look at my damn picture. Do I  look like Bin Laden?  And "No," I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for crying out loud.  I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether I plan on visiting a farm in  the next 15 days?
 
If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! 
 
Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city and get another  #*@&#^@*@&  copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $100.
 
Would it be so difficult to  have all the services in the same area so I  could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require planning and organization.  And it would be too logical for the  @&^*^%@%government.   
 
You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off.  Then, we have to find some asshole to confirm that it's really me in the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed  to smile......Hey, you know why we can't smile? 
 
We're totally pissed off!
 
 
Signed 
 
An Irate Citizen.
 
P.S.: Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the   picture is me?  Well, my family has been in the United States of America since 1776.  I have served in the military for something over 35 years and have had security clearances up the ying yang. However, I have to get someone important to verify who I am - you know, someone  like my doctor........   WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN INDIA ! 
 
And you dipsticks want to run our health care system?????
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Gear Jammer
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Posts: 3074


Yeah,,,,,It's a HEMI

Magnolia, Texas


« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2011, 03:08:17 AM »

 Roll Eyes   2funny
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"The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living.
MacDragon
Member
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Posts: 1970


My first Valk VRCC# 32095

Middleton, Mass.


« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2011, 04:23:40 AM »

I don't care if it's a real letter or not... It's damn funny. cooldude 2funny
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Ride fast and take chances... uh, I mean... ride safe folks.
Patriot Guard Riders
Super Santa
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Posts: 1907


VRCC #27029

Houston, Texas


WWW
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2011, 05:16:14 AM »

I love it.  Actually one I had not read before.
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solo1
Member
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Posts: 6127


New Haven, Indiana


« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2011, 05:22:52 AM »

Great, John!  I like your preamble too cooldude cooldude cooldude
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ChromeDome
Member
*****
Posts: 2175


Aurora, IL.

60 miles West of Chicago!


« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2011, 07:43:51 AM »

Not sure which I enjoyed more, the letter or your preamble ... both are great!  cooldude cooldude
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firea100
Member
*****
Posts: 303

East China Mi.


« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2011, 10:26:22 AM »

Geez... I wonder if he got his passport back in a timely fashion??
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Spirited-6
Member
*****
Posts: 2214


Nicholasville, Ky.


« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2011, 10:54:28 AM »

This is not REAL funny to me, yes a little bit. My good friends across the street have gone thru just about the same thing in the last few weeks. They are going on the Queen Mary this month and don`t have a pass port. Thier`s was burned in a home fire two years ago and had never asked for a dup. until planing this Cruise. They have had to pay twice the normal fee and had two meetings with the powers that be and still don`t had a pass port as of this date. These folks have been married 67 years and have travled abroad many times and still the I-DOTS can`t find thier records. crazy2
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PharmBoy
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Posts: 1058


Lawton, Ok


« Reply #8 on: April 05, 2011, 10:59:22 AM »

The sad part about it all is that it is all true...JTL Cry
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A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~Texas Guinan
4th Infantry Tet Vet
99 Interstate
97 Bumble Bee
97 Red & White
John Schmidt
Member
*****
Posts: 15231


a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike

De Pere, WI (Green Bay)


« Reply #9 on: April 05, 2011, 11:18:58 AM »

I know only too well what you're talking about. To me, the hoops one has to jump through is beyond ridiculous at times. I can only feel compassion for the folks that lost their's in a fire. I worked for the gov't. for 30 yrs. and it never ceased to amaze me the stupidity and blindness exhibited in some areas. I gave up trying to get a passport a while back, partly due to the very issues raised in the post. To begin with, I'm adopted. My natural grandparents came from Italy, my adoptive grandparents came from Germany. I was told just my birth certificate was inadequate, even though I was born in Centerville, Iowa, USA. I asked why I could get a Top Secret in the Air Force and these clowns won't let me go to Canada, a place I've visited numerous times prior to the passport requirements. Told one guy if he would look on his computer at a map of North America, he would see our fine neighbors to the north are still there....in one piece. I finally gave up for the time being....after telling one nasal sounding, gum chewing bimbo that she would make a good poster girl for the "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE  INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
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queen bee
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Posts: 60


« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2011, 12:53:30 PM »

HILARIOUS...ALL  of it ! 2funny
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paps350
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Posts: 52


Pittsburgh Pa


« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2011, 01:52:52 PM »

John,, You sure have a way with words.
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old2soon
Member
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Posts: 23402

Willow Springs mo


« Reply #12 on: April 05, 2011, 07:57:33 PM »

I served in uncle sugars canoe club 1964 to 1968 in aviation. Came back from first nam cruise in late 64. Some body in d c wanted to lighten the paperwork load. uglystupid2 We had to copy everything in triplicate and destroy the originals. 2funny And this was in 1964-and after reading that passport post-shure do look like we have stayed static all these years. cooldude RIDE SAFE.
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Today is the tommorow you worried about yesterday. If at first you don't succeed screw it-save it for nite check.  1964  1968 U S Navy. Two cruises off Nam.
VRCCDS0240  2012 GL1800 Gold Wing Motor Trike conversion
x
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0


« Reply #13 on: April 06, 2011, 08:02:27 AM »

You guys are good for a great laugh.  If government databases were actually connected together so the poor passport fellow didn't have to enter all that information. you folks would be apoplectic about government intrusion.  No matter how it is, it is wrong.
 
If Obama walked on water across the Potomac, somebody would be asking why he couldn't swim.
 
Peh!
 
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Skinhead
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Posts: 8727


J. A. B. O. A.

Troy, MI


« Reply #14 on: April 06, 2011, 08:34:58 AM »

You guys are good for a great laugh.  If government databases were actually connected together so the poor passport fellow didn't have to enter all that information. you folks would be apoplectic about government intrusion.  No matter how it is, it is wrong.
 
If Obama walked on water across the Potomac, somebody would be asking why he couldn't swim.
 
Peh!
 


please do the following: stick one thumb in your mouth, the other where the "sun doesn't shine".....NOW SWITCH! Barring a misguided tour, that should keep your mind otherwise occupied instead of bothering the rest of us with your self-proclaimed profundity.  angel

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Skinhead
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Troy, MI
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