Picking her up from the shop today!!!

[DarkMeister]

Can't wait! 

I'm an awesome wrench myself. My mechanical expertise knows no bounds! However, local economy being what it is, I graciously took FatA$$ to a shop 20 miles away so that I could contribute to the local economy. No idea what my contribution will amount to yet. No idea if they managed to deal with my complex requirements. But - they say she's "ready". Ha!
Must admit I'm a tad worried, though. I'm not making this up. But they didn't leave me with much confidence when I dropped FA off.

Lube job to start with, please.
- Do you also want the fubrigating decantellator fluid changed?
Me: blank look.
-You know: the one on the rear?
Oh heck yes! Please do, change whatever's on the rear!

Install this rear tire, too, that I got on-line.
-Dude slowly begins to drool at this point.

Oh and while she's on your stand, can you throw this on her?
-WTH is THAT? Never seen one.
I patiently explain that it's a lift adaptor that I got on eBay and the listing clearly said it was simple to install.
-Dude flips it over a few times scratching his head.
I suggest he look on-line, there should be photos somewhere. Something about the side-stand. Duh!

Then I explain about this really stupid friend I have and how he screwed the lip on my rad.
-What do you wants us to do?
My confidence in their skills is dropping quickly. I patiently explain that if he simply popped into the VRC forums, it's all there for him! My learned fellow riders detailed the technique. Carefully file something, or gently bang the...oh heck! YOU are the technicians! Figure it out!

By this point I felt a tad sorry for them so I only asked for one last thing:
I'd like one of those lighter socket power supply thingies up front.
-Well which is it? Power outlet? Or a lighter?
Both, man!! Exasperation sets in at this point. Obviously, this man has never ridden with a bunch of Iron-Butter, non-smoker, stop-for-nothing riders, or cursed those stupid traffic lights that stop you at every corner for 10 minutes when you're in a cage but invariably  turn green as you hopefully approach them on a bike!!! As the glove you took off so you could quickly dig out a smoke falls off the bike along with a full pack of overtaxed smokes....but I digress.
-Insert here some platitudes about a lighter being too hot for the fairing, power-only being simpler yada-yada.
Enough so that I could SMELL dollar signs.

So it is with trepidation that I go get her. Wondering how much of my simple list they got to. Wondering if I'll be able to buy gas for the ride home, after I pay those incompetents... Wondering, too, if I'll be disappointed enough to revert to my own, tremendously-advanced wrenching skills.

Sorry for the blabby post, but I'm excited! Even though rain is forecast for the next 1282 days, my baby will be ready, theoretically anyway, to ride!

Stay...ahem...tuned.

[Chrisj CMA]

IMHO the very best way to learn how to fix your bike is to take it to the Dealer for them to do it, pay them OUCH! (now you dont want to pay someone else) so you HAVE to fix what they messed up all by yourself.  You end up doing  a slam up job and vow never again to pay dealer labor prices.   

[old2soon]

IMHO the very best way to learn how to fix your bike is to take it to the Dealer for them to do it, pay them OUCH! (now you dont want to pay someone else) so you HAVE to fix what they messed up all by yourself.  You end up doing  a slam up job and vow never again to pay dealer labor prices.   

  What he said. RIDE SAFE.

[hubcapsc]

Whether you keep on taking it to the dealer or not, keep on making funny posts...

-Mike "fromulating beyond the borders of innovation"

[csj]

Two years ago, I couldn't get my Tourer to start. Tried everything,
asked on here, no way. Took it to a Powersports dealer/stealer.

They had it for a week, finally called me, said they had it running.

They had changed the spark plugs, and drained the carb bowls.
THAT'S IT!  Charged me $500. They didn't actually find out
what the problem was!

I now found a great mechanic at a salvage yard. He knows
what he's talkin about. Man, watch out for them stealers!

[art]

DIY

[alph]

Two years ago, I couldn't get my Tourer to start. Tried everything,
asked on here, no way. Took it to a Powersports dealer/stealer.

They had it for a week, finally called me, said they had it running.

They had changed the spark plugs, and drained the carb bowls.
THAT'S IT!  Charged me $500. They didn't actually find out
what the problem was!

I now found a great mechanic at a salvage yard. He knows
what he's talkin about. Man, watch out for them stealers!

My brother’s car quit one day while he was going to work.  He told me he had a ¼ tank of fuel.  I spent a day of my vacation trying to get his car going, we found out that he wasn’t getting fuel to the fuel rail.  I asked him again, are you sure there’s fuel in the tank; he says yes, a ¼ tank.  We pull the fuel tank, pull the fuel pump, turn the key, the pump buzzes, nothing.  We drive an hour to his “special” parts store, buy a new fuel pump, just before we install it I tilt the fuel tank so all the fuel goes to the back of the tank to the old pump.  I tell him to try and start it, fuel sprays all over the drive way, then I hook up the fuel filter, did it again, same thing, hook up the fuel line, gas sprays all over the engine, put everything back together, nothing.  At this time I’m convinced that there’s not enough gas in the tank, but my brother insists that there’s ¼ tank…..  He tries to start the car with everything back together and there’s no fuel in the fuel rail and of course it doesn’t start.

Because my brother NEVER makes mistakes, and the gauge “says” it’s got ¼ tank, it’s got to be right……  I know that there’s NOT enough fuel.  So after four days, and listening to him question me over, and over again why it won’t start, I tell him to get a floor jack, and raise the front of his car as high as he can, then try to start it.  Well, vuewalla, the car starts and my brother can’t understand for the life of him why the car started, I came out and told him “IT’S OUT OF FUEL” but he still insists that’s not it…….  Still to this day, he insists that there was a ¼ tank of fuel left. 

It gets better.  I ask my brother, how much gas was in the tank when it broke down?  He say’s, it was just at the “RED LINE”!!  I told him, “that means it was EMPTY!!!”

Nope, he said he put a gallon in it…….   Sorry……  you can’t fix stupid…..

[DarkMeister]

Been there done that, Alph. This winter I had visitors from out West and toured all over to show them the area. Toured Montreal for hours - a big city with crazy highways.
The old lady, knowing my disregard for dumb things like fuel and propensity to run out of same, asked every now and then how much gas we had. Each time, I'd glance down, and tell her "Lots! We're between a quarter and half tank!". Hours later, in rush hour, same thing. Finally, to appease the nagging twit, and my by now suspicious visitors, I graciously pull into a station and fill up. Still between a quarter and half tank. At least on my temperature gauge - which is what I kept looking at all day instead of the fuel gauge right next to it. Bad design by Dodge. Yup; that's it. Think I'll complain.
Nope - can't fix stupid....

Now my Valk - that was just over 400 bucks with taxes. The rad still leaks; they "repaired the cap". Back to the drawing tech board and suggestions I got there about reshaping the throat.

They installed a nice power outlet in the fairing just to the right of the speedo. However, I was warned that it's a 10 amp fuse, powered from turn-signal juice and not to even think about a "lighter" or such. The guy warned me that, should I plug anything but a GPS into that cute new hole, the fuse will blow, transmission will fail, my wife will be ejected from the back seat, wheels will fall off, and the bike will burn to a cinder. Or something.
My biggest fear is having to replace the fuse. Been there - done that, with the free-wheeling fairing screws; no thanks. I'll just buy a torch lighter.