Finally got to me - looking at all those awesome pics of bikes you guys have been posting. Got me to thinking - why doesn't my Interstate look as attractive?

Then, I got a rare combination of a brainstorm AND initiative, and decided I'd go out and wash her.
Last ride was through a lot of pesky rain and she was dirtier than usual.
Now, surely some of you talk to your bikes? I do. I go out, get some supplies together, give her a quick peck on the fairing.
"Whoah! Dude! I'm going to have to call the cops and charge you! That's unwanted contact!"
But it was when I got the water and started applying it to her that she went nuts.
Went something like this:
"EEEEEK! What the hell are you doing?"
"Relax, fat*ss - just a wash. And maybe a wax job if you behave."
"Stop it this minute! I swear I'll call the cops! Why are you touching me that way? What IS that stuff you're putting on me???"
Thought about putting some Techron through her; maybe get her half-snapped and easier to deal with. Instead, I patiently explained: I was washing her. Removing old dirt. Mud. bugs. Making her all shiny and such.
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, she goes "Oh waiiiit a minute! It's coming back to me now! Whatchamacallit. Wersh? No, waush? Got it! Wash! Now I remember - it's that thing my former owner used to treat me to all the time. Sigh...I sure do miss him."
Sarcastic little twit. I haven't spoken to her since.