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Author Topic: Translations from Liberal to Texan (Political & Humor)  (Read 1677 times)
Serk
Member
*****
Posts: 22101


Rowlett, TX


« on: September 30, 2011, 12:32:53 PM »

I've noticed that in many of our political... discussions... here and elsewhere, "us" and "them" seem to use different words for the same thing, or even worse, the same words that have different meanings. So, to help alleviate this problem, I have acquired this handy Liberal to Texan translation table. Hope it helps! Wink


LIBERAL                         TEXAS  
Arsenal of Weapons              Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands               Swamp
Undocumented Worker             Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials          Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery             Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed                   Well-protected
Narrow-minded                   Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share        Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control         Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives    Fireworks or Stump Removal
Non-viable Tissue Mass          Unborn Baby
Equal Access to Opportunity     Socialism
Multicultural Community         High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress     Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich"       Self-Employed
Progressive, Change             Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged       Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle                    Scoped Deer Rifle
Investment For the Future       Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform               Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater Conservative
Truants                         Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed             Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine          Standard Capacity Magazine
Religious Zealot                Church-going
Reintroduced Wolves             Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee               Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich"        Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby                   NRA Members
Assault Weapon                  Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus                 New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting  Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...



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tank_post142
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Posts: 2629


south florida


« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2011, 02:05:43 PM »

despite the reputation for HUGE egos, i'm beginning to like Texas!  cooldude
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mario
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Posts: 1228

NW Houston, TX


« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2011, 02:12:06 PM »

 cooldude
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Mario
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12 Suzuki V-Strom 1000
The Anvil
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Posts: 5291


Derry, NH


« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2011, 02:25:24 PM »

It's funny but of all of the whacky bendings of reality that the creator of Spongebob Squarepants asks you to look the other way on (oceans within oceans for instance) the most unbelievable one might be that the smartest character on the show (Sandy Squirrel) is a Texan.
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Boxer rebellion, the Holy Child. They all pay their rent.
But none together can testify to the rhythm of a road well bent.
Saddles and zip codes, passports and gates, the Jones' keep.
In August the water is trickling, in April it's furious deep.

1997 Valk Standard, Red and White.
tank_post142
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Posts: 2629


south florida


« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2011, 02:35:56 PM »

OUCH !!
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VRCCDS0246 
John Schmidt
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Posts: 15392


a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike

De Pere, WI (Green Bay)


« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2011, 04:47:07 PM »

It's funny but of all of the whacky bendings of reality that the creator of Spongebob Squarepants asks you to look the other way on (oceans within oceans for instance) the most unbelievable one might be that the smartest character on the show (Sandy Squirrel) is a Texan.
Hey bud, I just had to chuckle over your statement. Now just how would you know all that about Spongebob Squarepants?  Wink  Evil
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The Anvil
Member
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Posts: 5291


Derry, NH


« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2011, 04:48:41 PM »

It's funny but of all of the whacky bendings of reality that the creator of Spongebob Squarepants asks you to look the other way on (oceans within oceans for instance) the most unbelievable one might be that the smartest character on the show (Sandy Squirrel) is a Texan.
Hey bud, I just had to chuckle over your statement. Now just how would you know all that about Spongebob Squarepants?  Wink  Evil

I have a nine and a three year old.   coolsmiley

But you learn to really appreciate Spongebob. I'd watch it anyway.
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Boxer rebellion, the Holy Child. They all pay their rent.
But none together can testify to the rhythm of a road well bent.
Saddles and zip codes, passports and gates, the Jones' keep.
In August the water is trickling, in April it's furious deep.

1997 Valk Standard, Red and White.
hotglue #43
Member
*****
Posts: 3151

Ya never know how many good Summers ya have left.


« Reply #7 on: September 30, 2011, 06:05:27 PM »

Wow... Spongebob square pants..... Really????  .. coolsmiley
« Last Edit: September 30, 2011, 06:17:37 PM by hotglue #43 » Logged



 blue=3 times
 green=at least 4 times
When they are all 'green'.. I'll stop counting.
Gear Jammer
Member
*****
Posts: 3074


Yeah,,,,,It's a HEMI

Magnolia, Texas


« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2011, 07:28:48 PM »

Wow... Spongebob square pants..... Really????  .. coolsmiley

Whooda thunk ?   crazy2  That does explain a lot,, huh Mark?  Roll Eyes
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"The problems we face today exist because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living.
Hoser
Member
*****
Posts: 5844


child of the sixties VRCC 17899

Auburn, Kansas


« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2011, 07:59:46 PM »

I'm lovin your list, Serk, can I copy it for Kansas?  Sounds Familiar. We have a republican House, Senate and Governor.  Hoser cooldude  Grin coolsmiley
« Last Edit: September 30, 2011, 08:05:58 PM by Hoser » Logged

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The Anvil
Member
*****
Posts: 5291


Derry, NH


« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2011, 08:03:38 PM »

Come on man, this is funny stuff!

(note that the ride looks like a giant middle finger)
Fiery Fist o' Painpowered by Aeva
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Boxer rebellion, the Holy Child. They all pay their rent.
But none together can testify to the rhythm of a road well bent.
Saddles and zip codes, passports and gates, the Jones' keep.
In August the water is trickling, in April it's furious deep.

1997 Valk Standard, Red and White.
musclehead
Member
*****
Posts: 7245


inverness fl


« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2011, 10:28:41 PM »

It's funny but of all of the whacky bendings of reality that the creator of Spongebob Squarepants asks you to look the other way on (oceans within oceans for instance) the most unbelievable one might be that the smartest character on the show (Sandy Squirrel) is a Texan.
Hey bud, I just had to chuckle over your statement. Now just how would you know all that about Spongebob Squarepants?  Wink  Evil

I have a nine and a three year old.   coolsmiley

But you learn to really appreciate Spongebob. I'd watch it anyway.

50 years old on sunday, i still watch 'cartoons' even spongebob.

your not so bad Anvil Evil
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'in the tunnels uptown, the Rats own dream guns him down. the shots echo down them hallways in the night' - the Boss
R J
Member
*****
Posts: 13380


DS-0009 ...... # 173

Des Moines, IA


« Reply #12 on: September 30, 2011, 10:45:37 PM »

Sheet fire Dixie, I have 2 great grand kids who live close and we babysit on Saturday pretty regular, and the youngest daughter lives pretty close now that her dick head ex-husband asked for a divorce, so he could marry a lawyer he met on a bicycle ride, week long one.

The day the decree was signed and the divorce was final, (1:44 PM), they were married by a Judge in the same court house at 2:25 PM.

I asked the daughter if she was pregnant, she didn't know, getting off topic here, the G-Gkids and her 2 lovely little daughters all like cartoons and Spongy is one of them..........   Moms drop them off and they head directly to the TV.    They have done took over.      So to get even, we feed them lots of Chocolate just before we take em home or the parents are to pick them up,   Payback time we tell em.
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DarkMeister
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Posts: 644



« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2011, 06:18:39 AM »

Y'all just be glad; be very glad, that times change and you're not watching Barney with kids/grankids. Shudder...

I love you
you love me
get a gun and please shoot me
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The Anvil
Member
*****
Posts: 5291


Derry, NH


« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2011, 07:10:31 AM »

Y'all just be glad; be very glad, that times change and you're not watching Barney with kids/grankids. Shudder...

I love you
you love me
get a gun and please shoot me


Barney is the one children's show that I could never warm up to in any way. I even have fond memories of the Teletubbies. But not that frigging dinosaur.
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Boxer rebellion, the Holy Child. They all pay their rent.
But none together can testify to the rhythm of a road well bent.
Saddles and zip codes, passports and gates, the Jones' keep.
In August the water is trickling, in April it's furious deep.

1997 Valk Standard, Red and White.
hubcapsc
Member
*****
Posts: 16824


upstate

South Carolina


« Reply #15 on: October 01, 2011, 07:21:28 AM »

Y'all just be glad; be very glad, that times change and you're not watching Barney with kids/grankids. Shudder...

I love you
you love me
get a gun and please shoot me





-Mike "barney... ugh... "
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The Anvil
Member
*****
Posts: 5291


Derry, NH


« Reply #16 on: October 01, 2011, 07:22:22 AM »

BTW (lest anyone think otherwise) I like to bust on Texans but I really think they're good people. Texas might be one of the last states I'd choose to live in but it's still America and that's still one hell of a lot better than anywhere else.  Wink
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Boxer rebellion, the Holy Child. They all pay their rent.
But none together can testify to the rhythm of a road well bent.
Saddles and zip codes, passports and gates, the Jones' keep.
In August the water is trickling, in April it's furious deep.

1997 Valk Standard, Red and White.
Serk
Member
*****
Posts: 22101


Rowlett, TX


« Reply #17 on: October 01, 2011, 11:39:04 AM »

Y'all just be glad; be very glad, that times change and you're not watching Barney with kids/grankids. Shudder...

I love you
you love me
get a gun and please shoot me


*Sigh* Tell me about it... My oldest daughter had her first real paycheck at age 5 (I think that's when it was...) as a paid extra.... in an episode of Barney...




BTW (lest anyone think otherwise) I like to bust on Texans but I really think they're good people. Texas might be one of the last states I'd choose to live in but it's still America and that's still one hell of a lot better than anywhere else.  Wink

And don't sweat it, we're used to it... we've been taught to not make fun of the underprivileged, after all, not everyone can be a Texan!

Pencil in a trip to Houston in April for HotGlue's annual BBQ, and we'll show you what REAL Texas hospitality is all about!
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...



IBA# 22107 
VRCC# 7976
VRCCDS# 226

1998 Valkyrie Standard
2008 Gold Wing

Taxation is theft.

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musclehead
Member
*****
Posts: 7245


inverness fl


« Reply #18 on: October 01, 2011, 03:26:35 PM »

Y'all just be glad; be very glad, that times change and you're not watching Barney with kids/grankids. Shudder...

I love you
you love me
get a gun and please shoot me


Barney is the one children's show that I could never warm up to in any way. I even have fond memories of the Teletubbies. But not that frigging dinosaur.

thanful for peer pressure that one time, as soon as my daughter hit first grade 'barney is for babies'

me and the wife heaved a big sigh of relief Grin
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'in the tunnels uptown, the Rats own dream guns him down. the shots echo down them hallways in the night' - the Boss
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