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Author Topic: How Fast Is A Raped Ape ??  (Read 8200 times)
Sodbuster
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« on: May 30, 2012, 04:43:11 PM »

I often hear the phrase "yeah, she goes like a raped ape" .... so, just how fast is a raped ape ??  coolsmiley
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Tailgate Tommy
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« Reply #1 on: May 30, 2012, 06:54:06 PM »

Slightly faster than a scalded dog, I think.
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GiG
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« Reply #2 on: May 30, 2012, 07:09:32 PM »

Quote
Slightly faster than a scalded dog, I think.

A raped ape is nowhere as fast as a
strong eagle going to a naked male "drum circle"...  crazy2
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« Reply #3 on: May 30, 2012, 07:14:49 PM »

Definitely NOT as fast as a stripe-ed Azzed one.
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« Reply #4 on: May 30, 2012, 07:17:35 PM »

Raped ape is fast.How do I know? My valk runs just as fast as a raped ape
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Moonshot_1
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« Reply #5 on: May 30, 2012, 07:32:00 PM »

I often hear the phrase "yeah, she goes like a raped ape" .... so, just how fast is a raped ape ??  coolsmiley

Difficult question to answer.

We must first establish the speeds of the following:


Scalded Dog
Flying Pig
A greased pig
The escape velocity of the Cow that jumped over the moon
Santa's Reindeer on Xmas eve mission flight
Speedy Gonzoles
The Road Runner
A woodchuck chucking wood if he could chuck wood

And the most important
The Bat out of Hell

Once these are established, the average speed would become the baseline to measure the speed of the raped Ape. This is dependent on someone having to actually rape an ape.

I would look to a Washington DC congressman to do it but they are professionals at screwing folks over so the Ape wouldn't even realized it was raped until it was to late. So that won't work. Maybe one of their staffers....

 


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Mike Luken 
 

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« Reply #6 on: May 30, 2012, 08:00:56 PM »

I'm thinking that a raped ape is NOT as fast as whatever it was that raped it and got away   Cheesy
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« Reply #7 on: May 30, 2012, 09:30:11 PM »

        lets not leave out  " greased lighting " ....             Shocked
           sounds pretty fast too       coolsmiley   
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flcjr
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« Reply #8 on: May 30, 2012, 10:13:12 PM »

I am guessing faster than a bat out hell as I think I would rather be in hell than rape an ape or raped by one. just saying
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Alien
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« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2012, 03:47:32 AM »

There's only one way to find out.  C'mon, I'll drive you to the zoo.  You're going to be famous.
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98valk
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« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2012, 04:12:34 AM »

Quote
Slightly faster than a scalded dog, I think.

A raped ape is nowhere as fast as a
strong eagle going to a naked male "drum circle"...  crazy2


 2funny 2funny 2funny
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« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2012, 05:31:37 AM »

I would like to know the answer to that! Grin These old sayings always facinate me and wonder their origin. Here are a couple links, but can't find the "raped ape" anywhere!

http://users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/sayindex.htm

http://www.localhistories.org/sayings.html
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olddog1946
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« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2012, 07:05:31 AM »

Definitely faster than a scalded dog, but a tad slower than a speeding bullet.
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Rams
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« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2012, 07:13:57 AM »

There's only one way to find out.  C'mon, I'll drive you to the zoo.  You're going to be famous.


Only if you take pics and he survives. 
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Alien
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« Reply #14 on: May 31, 2012, 08:34:47 AM »

There's only one way to find out.  C'mon, I'll drive you to the zoo.  You're going to be famous.


Only if you take pics and he survives. 

Deal!
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Karen
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« Reply #15 on: May 31, 2012, 01:49:30 PM »

Don't ask, don't tell...
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old2soon
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« Reply #16 on: May 31, 2012, 01:55:02 PM »

Is it faster than the camel you just castrated with two bricks without smashing yer thumbs?? 2funny RIDE SAFE.
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Moonshot_1
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« Reply #17 on: May 31, 2012, 02:55:00 PM »

We know, by simple conjecture, that a raped ape is fast.
But is a raped ape fastest of all raped animals?

It would be beneficial to know which animal is fastest when raped.
If someone says his ride is "faster than a raped ape" we can come back with "Mine is faster than a raped Wolverine" (assuming it could be proven that a raped Wolverine would be faster)

This sounds like a spectacular subject for a government funded university study. Government would have the money and the university would have enough alcohol on campus required to actually do this. Probably make a movie too.

For the control, someone must find out how fast a consensual ape is.

This would require another university study.
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Mike Luken 
 

Cherokee, Ia.
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« Reply #18 on: May 31, 2012, 02:59:53 PM »

it's faster than "Mach 2 With Your Hair On Fire"
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YoungPUP
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« Reply #19 on: May 31, 2012, 05:29:20 PM »

Ok. So how slick is " Slicker than greased owl $hit."
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Bob E.
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« Reply #20 on: May 31, 2012, 06:33:37 PM »

OK...but who is going around and raping these poor apes??  JEEEEEZZZZZZ!   uglystupid2
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Bonzo
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« Reply #21 on: May 31, 2012, 07:12:31 PM »

Faster than a NY minute?
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john
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« Reply #22 on: May 31, 2012, 10:54:55 PM »

            the slickest                      2funny
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