Ya Can't Fix Stupid!!

[BIG--T]

Ya Just Can't Fix Stupid!!      Ladies I didn't write this so don't shoot the messenger!!  



The older we get....








ONE





 




















Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.














I asked for a half dozen nuggets.













'You don't?' I replied.














'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.














'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'














'That's right.'














So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets














(Unbelievable but sadly true...) (must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only splenda and sugar.)








'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.




















TWO














I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.














After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the'divider', looking it all over for the bar code








So she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'














I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'














She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.














She had no clue to what had just happened.














THREE














A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.














When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'














(keep shuddering!!)














FOUR














I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.














She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'














'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.














'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,








Handing it and the car keys to me. As I








Took the key and manually unlocked the door, I








Replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and








Check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'














PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!














FIVE














Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'








'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her.








With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.














Brunette, by the way!!














SIX














A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give thekid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'














Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'














Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!








?








?








?








?








?








Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.








Don't laugh.....it is all true...














Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70 or 80!














01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.














02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.














03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.














04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"














05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.














06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.














07. Things you buy now won't wear out.














08. You can eat supper at 4 PM .














09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.














10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.














11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.








12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.














13. You sing along with elevator music.














14. Your eyes won't get much worse.














15 .. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.














16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.














17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.














18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.














19. You can't remember who sent you this list.














20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.














Forward this to every one you can remember right now!














Never, under any circumstances,take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!!!!!!!!!!!

[old2soon]

And off the T shirt that my next door neighbor wore that he got from his kids.
                                                1 When stopped NEVER pass up a chance to pee.
                                                2 Never waste a hard on.
                                                3 Never Ever trust a fart.
               RIDE SAFE.

[Patrick]

Spooky isn't it ??  This is our future..  And we wonder why this country is in the shape its in..  Ever watch Jay Leno's Jaywalking ??

[BIG--T]

And off the T shirt that my next door neighbor wore that he got from his kids.
                                                1 When stopped NEVER pass up a chance to pee.
                                                2 Never waste a hard on.
                                                3 Never Ever trust a fart.
               RIDE SAFE.

 

[BIG--T]

Spooky isn't it ??  This is our future..  And we wonder why this country is in the shape its in..  Ever watch Jay Leno's Jaywalking ??

Yeah pitiful! It's like they never had history in school, sometimes didn't know the names of the potus, vice prez, and basic stuff most of us boomers knew in grammer school!! But just asl about the actors and singers and silly shows- they know all the answers to meaningless stuff, IMO. Guess I'm just getting old!     

[YoungPUP]

The neighbors boy pissed me off the other day, keeps riding his dirtbike across my front yard.  I told him if he did it again, I'd show him where Hoffa was hiding..........Wait for it..........He asked me ..........."Who's  Hoffa????"     

[BIG--T]

The neighbors boy pissed me off the other day, keeps riding his dirtbike across my front yard.  I told him if he did it again, I'd show him where Hoffa was hiding..........Wait for it..........He asked me ..........."Who's  Hoffa????"     

    

[Valkahuna]

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.


You see, right there is the problem! They only sell Nuggets in quantities of 4, 10 or 20! No wonder the poor overworked worker was confused! (Now, where is that darned sarcasm font? ???)

[WamegoRob]

Funny stuff, indeed, but I have to ask... am I the only one that sees all the blank lines?
Maybe it's just my browser but there are 970 lines in that post but only 72 with text  ???

[BIG--T]

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.


You see, right there is the problem! They only sell Nuggets in quantities of 4, 10 or 20! No wonder the poor overworked worker was confused! (Now, where is that darned sarcasm font? ???)

Just supposed to be a joke!  I don't eat them myself and wouldn't know. I guess it was that way when who ever wrote this email!  For those who don't know....1/2 dozen IS 6!!             

[Willow]

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.


You see, right there is the problem! They only sell Nuggets in quantities of 4, 10 or 20! No wonder the poor overworked worker was confused! (Now, where is that darned sarcasm font? ???)

Just supposed to be a joke!  I don't eat them myself and wouldn't know. I guess it was that way when who ever wrote this email!  For those who don't know....1/2 dozen IS 6!!             

The problem is that it's a joke ridiculing something that likely doesn't exist using an incident that obviously didn't happen (and was presented as an actual experience).

Truly I think everyone, including the industrious young people working at McDonalds, knows that a half doze n is six.   

It's ironic that this was posted under the title, "Ya Can't Fix Stupid!!"   

[FloridaValkRyder]

Funny stuff, indeed, but I have to ask... am I the only one that sees all the blank lines?
Maybe it's just my browser but there are 970 lines in that post but only 72 with text  ???

You're not the only one. That's why we have a preview key. Cut and Paste doesn't always put it on the page as we wanted.  Funny stuff though!!   

[BIG--T]

I tried to drag every sentence one by one that was spaced like a foot apart and took a long time. When I grouped them together and hit both preview and post....that's what happened. I'm new at this but trying to learn. 

[BIG--T]

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.


You see, right there is the problem! They only sell Nuggets in quantities of 4, 10 or 20! No wonder the poor overworked worker was confused! (Now, where is that darned sarcasm font? ???)

Just supposed to be a joke!  I don't eat them myself and wouldn't know. I guess it was that way when who ever wrote this email!  For those who don't know....1/2 dozen IS 6!!             

The problem is that it's a joke ridiculing something that likely doesn't exist using an incident that obviously didn't happen (and was presented as an actual experience).

Truly I think everyone, including the industrious young people working at McDonalds, knows that a half doze n is six.   

It's ironic that this was posted under the title, "Ya Can't Fix Stupid!!"   

Willow, have you ever watched Jay Leno interview kids and adults on the street?? Well I have met some kids like that myself and McDonalds has nothing to do with it. They say real comedy is based on some truth, so how do you KNOW this half dozen joke WASN't real?? I don't. Besides if this is a personal attack, you can surely tell I copied it!!!     

[bigguy]

OK, this didn't happen at McDonalds. It happened in Lock's Grocery Store in Hughes Arkansas somewhere around 1988. I was checking out and witnessed it.
The Asian lady, who's family owned the store, was training a young blond girl (high school age) to work the checkout register. I was buying a single item (don't remember what) that was priced 4 for a $1.00. The girl didn't know how much to charge me. The trainer repeatedly demanded, in an increasingly shrill voice, "Four for dollar, how much is one? She eventually gave up and checked us out herself, but I could still her shrill enquiry as we left the store.
To this day, my wife and I still use the Mandarin accented phrase "Four for dollar, how much is one?" when we encounter something like this.

[gregc]

  I can show you a job application, for a guy we hired. Where it asked for closest living relative, he put  "2 blocks away, from where I live now".  We still tease him to this day about it.

[T-Bird]

That was very good, I copied it, and added the one about a guy who skips 10 lines between each sentence on a post. 

(Just jerking your chain there big T)

[BIG--T]

OK, this didn't happen at McDonalds. It happened in Lock's Grocery Store in Hughes Arkansas somewhere around 1988. I was checking out and witnessed it.
The Asian lady, who's family owned the store, was training a young blond girl (high school age) to work the checkout register. I was buying a single item (don't remember what) that was priced 4 for a $1.00. The girl didn't know how much to charge me. The trainer repeatedly demanded, in an increasingly shrill voice, "Four for dollar, how much is one? She eventually gave up and checked us out herself, but I could still her shrill enquiry as we left the store.
To this day, my wife and I still use the Mandarin accented phrase "Four for dollar, how much is one?" when we encounter something like this.

Haha, I can just imagine especially with the Mandarin accent! 

[BIG--T]

  I can show you a job application, for a guy we hired. Where it asked for closest living relative, he put  "2 blocks away, from where I live now".  We still tease him to this day about it.

Unbelievable!!      

[BIG--T]

That was very good, I copied it, and added the one about a guy who skips 10 lines between each sentence on a post. 

(Just jerking your chain there big T)

I got plenty of chain and it hadn't broke yet!