Technical problem with one up riding.

[CoreyP]

My wife won't let me ride alone. For the first 4 weeks I owned the bike or so, she was fine with me taking the bike alone probably because it was new to me and if the front wheel was going to fly off or I take take a corner at 80 ending up in a forest she didn't need to be there for that. Now it's goes like this. I'm going out for a ride,"I'll go too". I'm fine with that most of the time but I haven't escaped for a one up ride in a few weeks now. I live in the Deep South BTW, it's riding season as far as I'm concerned. July is like riding into a Hair dryer on full heat. Tonight I was all geared up with the temps in the high 50s's which is just fine by me.

She also knows better than to be moving around on the back of the bike but she seems to have become a photographer back there now. Tonight she was filming Christmas lights hanging off the bike. She has gotten some cool photos of sunsets heading over bridges etc. but she is getting way to comfortable back there.  My problem is I have a bunch of trail bike/sport bike experience and something clicks in my head when ever something doesn't feel locked in. Can't really explain that better but when I feel the back wheel do something, my mind is train to think what is going on, what do I need to do in a split second. Kind of takes the relaxed part of riding out of it.

I also bought the wife a new colder weather jacket, that may have been a mistake. She's never had a full on leather motorcycle jacket with insulation and all that. She's way too happy with that jacket. She had gloves, jacket, boots all that but not at we're riding through everything quality. Thought I was doing her a favor, it may come back to haunt me. 

So anyone know how to fix this problem?

[Jess from VA]

Tell her you love her going with you, but that you like to go solo once in a while.

Ride her through an automatic car wash.

Have her find a girdle in the back seat of your car. 

[John Schmidt]

Jess....a girdle? Dang, you are getting old. 

As for the question posted, I agree with Jess. Be up front with her re. riding alone once in a while, you might be surprised how understanding she is. 

[The emperor has no clothes]

I would disagree with the previous advice. Be glad she wants to ride with you. There may come a time she is not able to. I guarantee you will be sad if that day comes.

[OnaWingandaPrayer]

 Happy Wife ,Happy Life.  Be happy to be in the breeze

[hubcapsc]

I think he's "fake" complaining...

-Mike "really he's more than happy about it..."

[tonybluegoat]

I get it. Don't have a solution. But I get it. 

[The emperor has no clothes]

I think he's "fake" complaining...

-Mike "really he's more than happy about it..."

I thought so too. (Just wanted to rebut the previous advice)

[Moonshot_1]

My wife won't let me ride alone. For the first 4 weeks I owned the bike or so, she was fine with me taking the bike alone probably because it was new to me and if the front wheel was going to fly off or I take take a corner at 80 ending up in a forest she didn't need to be there for that. Now it's goes like this. I'm going out for a ride,"I'll go too". I'm fine with that most of the time but I haven't escaped for a one up ride in a few weeks now. I live in the Deep South BTW, it's riding season as far as I'm concerned. July is like riding into a Hair dryer on full heat. Tonight I was all geared up with the temps in the high 50s's which is just fine by me.

She also knows better than to be moving around on the back of the bike but she seems to have become a photographer back there now. Tonight she was filming Christmas lights hanging off the bike. She has gotten some cool photos of sunsets heading over bridges etc. but she is getting way to comfortable back there.  My problem is I have a bunch of trail bike/sport bike experience and something clicks in my head when ever something doesn't feel locked in. Can't really explain that better but when I feel the back wheel do something, my mind is train to think what is going on, what do I need to do in a split second. Kind of takes the relaxed part of riding out of it.

I also bought the wife a new colder weather jacket, that may have been a mistake. She's never had a full on leather motorcycle jacket with insulation and all that. She's way too happy with that jacket. She had gloves, jacket, boots all that but not at we're riding through everything quality. Thought I was doing her a favor, it may come back to haunt me. 

So anyone know how to fix this problem?

Buy her her own bike.

[Hook#3287]

My wife won't let me ride alone. For the first 4 weeks I owned the bike or so, she was fine with me taking the bike alone probably because it was new to me and if the front wheel was going to fly off or I take take a corner at 80 ending up in a forest she didn't need to be there for that. Now it's goes like this. I'm going out for a ride,"I'll go too". I'm fine with that most of the time but I haven't escaped for a one up ride in a few weeks now. I live in the Deep South BTW, it's riding season as far as I'm concerned. July is like riding into a Hair dryer on full heat. Tonight I was all geared up with the temps in the high 50s's which is just fine by me.

She also knows better than to be moving around on the back of the bike but she seems to have become a photographer back there now. Tonight she was filming Christmas lights hanging off the bike. She has gotten some cool photos of sunsets heading over bridges etc. but she is getting way to comfortable back there.  My problem is I have a bunch of trail bike/sport bike experience and something clicks in my head when ever something doesn't feel locked in. Can't really explain that better but when I feel the back wheel do something, my mind is train to think what is going on, what do I need to do in a split second. Kind of takes the relaxed part of riding out of it.

I also bought the wife a new colder weather jacket, that may have been a mistake. She's never had a full on leather motorcycle jacket with insulation and all that. She's way too happy with that jacket. She had gloves, jacket, boots all that but not at we're riding through everything quality. Thought I was doing her a favor, it may come back to haunt me. 

So anyone know how to fix this problem?

Buy her her own bike.

I find this to be more of a matrimonial problem than technical 

But as I read the responses, my solution was the same as Moonshot's. 

If I had the same issue, I'd probably take Rob's (Meathead) advice and enjoy while you can.

[0leman]

Enjoy it while you can.  My DW used to ride with me.  We put on some 40K miles together.  WE rode together till she started having issues with her back.  Couldn't enjoy the ride any more.   So now it on my own all the time.  Miss her riding with me.  AND she did take a lot of pic's of everything (thankfully it was a digital camera). 

Now I have a bear and ape that accompany me on my rides. 

[Challenger]

This reminds me of the the thread where a guy asked how to keep boot scuffs off the saddlebags, One answer was to remove the passenger pillion.  
Seriously, my riding is 99% two up and wouldn't want it any other way.  
Trying to get as many miles as possible before one of can't ride anymore.

[Gryphon Rider]

If she doesn't listen to reason, e.g. "When under 30 MPH, DON'T FLAIL AROUND", every time she violates this, pull over and tell her you've pulled over so she can safely take pictures, search for her phone, wave at kids, etc., and emphasize that any other way compromises your and her safety.

Another thing you can do is arrange for both of you (if she's amenable) to take a new rider course together.  When I was an instructor, at some point we would have a talk about riding with a passenger, one of the points being that the passenger should be as motionless as a sack of potatoes.  Ask beforehand if that instruction is part of the course.  Another thing I taught was that when it came to safety and control of the motorcycle, the driver was the boss; when it comes to comfort, e.g. the need for an earlier rest stop, the passenger is the boss.  Maybe the course will spark her desire for her own bike?  If not, at least it will underline the concept that a motorcyclist has to constantly be paying attention to many more things than a cage driver has to, and that every distraction is a safety hazard.

Does she have things she does where she leaves the house alone?  Ten  minutes after she leaves would be the time to decide to take a spur-of-the-moment motorcycle ride.

Do you have Saturdays when you need to hit a bunch of destinations your wife isn't the least bit interested in?  Take the bike.

Honestly, if I had to have my wife with me for everything I did, I would go stir crazy.  I need time when I can be just Kevin, not Kevin and Sandra, and while this sometimes causes ruffled feathers, that's just the way it is.

I might be wrong, but it seems to me you are a newlywed, in that you are still in the negotiation stage when it comes to power balance within various areas of your marriage.  I would say the negotiations are most frequent in the first two or three years, then taper off until you reach another stage in your life together, such as kids, home ownership, teenagers, changes in who does and doesn't have a job, emptying nest, retirement, and declining health coupled with increasing care needs.  And that's within a healthy marriage; add marital or financial infidelity and the power struggles multiply.

There are times for compromise and times when one has to stand his ground on things.  Knowing which times are which can be tough.

[msb]

That's a good "problem" you have got there...I think you know that, right? 

If she's not into riding her own bike, get get her something she can take off in on her own or with a gal pal on occasion...then she'll get to appreciate the feeling of you wanting to go solo every now and then. You both win...you win because you're lucky that you have a wife that likes to ride with you, but now she'll appreciate you wanting to go solo once in a while... and she wins too because she's lucky to have a husband that enjoys having her as a passenger on his bike, plus she now has some fun getaway wheels of her own. Happiness all around

Got this for the Mrs's 50th about 9 years ago...she has always loved riding with me and I love having her along...but we also both like to take off on our own once in while too

[Gideon]

I would disagree with the previous advice. Be glad she wants to ride with you. There may come a time she is not able to. I guarantee you will be sad if that day comes.

I agree with Meathead. I love having my wife with me. We been riding together for 54 years and it has been joy, a real joy.

[Deerslayer]

I would disagree with the previous advice. Be glad she wants to ride with you. There may come a time she is not able to. I guarantee you will be sad if that day comes.

I agree with Meathead. I love having my wife with me. We been riding together for 54 years and it has been joy, a real joy.

This...

I absolutely Loved the closeness & hugs while riding with my better half. We would head out Friday after work & not return till late Sunday almost every weekend.


Life, Age & Health will steal that closeness from you soon enough.

My wife has not been able to ride for several years.
..but, I feel fortunate we were able to share those journeys together.

I miss it.

..Slayer

[Gizmo]

This...
I absolutely Loved the closeness & hugs while riding with my better half. We would head out Friday after work & not return till late Sunday almost every weekend.
Life, Age & Health will steal that closeness from you soon enough.
My wife has not been able to ride for several years.
..but, I feel fortunate we were able to share those journeys together.
I miss it.
..Slayer
[/quote]

Man, that brought a tear to my eye. Well said! I had to read it out to my navigator.

I'm so used to having her behind me that one day I reached back to stroke her leg, only to realize that it was my boss (female) that I was taking for a ride. Fortunately she enjoyed it and we laughed about it later in my performance review

[CoreyP]

I made my escape today, she was making stuff for a party tonight.

As far as her riding her own bike, the thought has come up but I don't think she wants to deal with paying attention. She's all geared up and we have a com system so She's as happy as a little clam just being a passenger.

BTW I have younger kids and all that. Taking off for a weekend or something like that just isn't in the cards. There is always something going on.  

[Willow]

My wife won't let me ride alone.
...

So anyone know how to fix this problem?

Divorce.  You will likely, though, find the solution more painful than the problem.   

[Bigwolf]

I would disagree with the previous advice. Be glad she wants to ride with you. There may come a time she is not able to. I guarantee you will be sad if that day comes.

+1