"Into Each Life A little Rain..."

All long-distance riders are well acquainted with that old adage! Dang, and this year it seems, at least to this hyper-sensitive rider, the continual cycles of rain appear to be more than usual in both frequency and duration… Oh well… Probably not so much, but… well, to this fellow eager to ride… Reckon it’s those Russians again? But, I digress with my whining…

We were purposefully riding back from Del Rio, TX, on our way to Wetumpka, AL, for the next installment of what was turning out to be an ‘infirmity visitation ride’. We’d already stopped by to visit with JP on our way out… only a short time later to get turned around for a return ride back to the southeast… Heck, the trek itself this season had been delayed in the first place, and later abbreviated then restarted, due to ‘local’ illnesses. I’m not complaining here, it’s just that all the plans and wishful thinking kept getting side-tracked by other necessary priorities popping-up.

I’d spoken with Jim on the phone, and he’d told me not to bother then, but to continue on with my ride and drop by later when I was riding back through… I got the feeling, however, that I should not wait! We reversed course and headed east in earnest… However, episodes of rain were still mucking-up everything and complicating ride ‘plans’… and this time, there were actual plans in play!

Anyway, we got as far as Pascagoula, MS, when rain forced us to halt for a day to allow yet another moisture laden cold front to overtake then pass… While lying around the motel room killing time that morning by watching that abominable electronic contraption that produces endless streams of pure balderdash, I received another call… from Suzie again, Jim’s wife. It was then I learned that she was no longer his wife… she had become his widow an hour or two earlier that very morning…

Even if there had been no rain to interrupt our ride, we still could not have arrived before his passing… Being stopped and available, though, had made it possible for yours truly to receive the news sooner and to adjust my plans accordingly. We would continue on but with a very different sense of urgency and a reduced need to push…

Age carries with it many inconveniences, aggravations, and unpleasantries, but few as difficult as dealing with the passing of those we love who go before us. When we’re younger, those losses are usually with folks further removed from us directly, and with whom we have lesser relationships and bonds. The older we get, however, the more we begin to lose parents, cousins, siblings, and close friends… sometimes even our own children... Naturally, the stronger the bonds, the greater the sense of loss…

Jim was one of those very special friends… The rarest kind that we allow much further than others into our lives…and hearts. Those very few with whom we share many of our inner-most thoughts, greatest fears, deepest apprehensions and doubts, our truest feelings… Those very unique individuals with whom we expose more of our greatest vulnerabilities, and they with us. We trust each other by laying bare our greatest weaknesses… and feeling better about ourselves for having done so. When people this close pass, we truly understand the meaning of profound loss…

We also often experience feelings of regret. We should have, could have… but didn’t... do more. In my case, I’ve been so preoccupied with my own journey, and now I have to live with knowing I perhaps didn’t adequately meet my obligations of fellowship and ‘face-time’. At least, it occurs to me that this might be the case… I don’t think I did let him, or anyone, down in this regard, though, because we all, after all, have to tread our own path of life in our own way on our own terms… I did, and so did he. We’d discussed just such topics and many more over the years, and now I’m so glad we did… It does help…

While in Wetumpka, I also was able to visit with other friends there… and some quality ‘relationship maintenance’ was accomplished. It is good to do such things all along the way, because we do not know when our opportunities will end… If we put things off, we may miss golden chances to… I’m always a bit perplexed when I hear so many glowing tributes paid to someone who has recently passed… Why should we wait until then to express our feelings? Wouldn’t it be much better to tell the person face-to-face, rather than to wait and tell others about that person afterward?

I didn’t arrive in time to put the final touches on my thoughts to Jim… However, I did say most of the things I’d wanted to express to him on the phone during the couple of days preceding his death. Over the years, we’d spent a great deal of quality time delving into subjects that did cover the bases, and we were able to tell each other all we needed to… all along the way. Much thought has and will be given to this… meaningful event…

DDT