i GOT A LUMP OF COAL.... really.... guess I'd better change my ways...

1. Take the lump of coal and place it on the seat of your Valk.
2. Go ride in Houston traffic, preferably during a rush hour period.
3. Return home and remove the diamond from the seat, as the extreme butt-clinching will have provided sufficient pressure to convert the coal to the precious stone.
See, it really was a good gift afterall!