Struggling...

[DDT (12)]

Lately I’ve been struggling daily and generally plum miserable! The treatments themselves have mercifully been a breeze so far; however, the prep for each has proven to be downright awful, a total cluster-snuggle in my case at least, and the whole experience has thus far been enormously frustrating!
 
Bladders have to be almost completely full, while bowels have to be nearly empty for patients to be treated. That is necessary, I am told, to avoid dire potential side effect issues from collateral damage to surrounding tissue, particularly the intestines, due to the nature of targeted radiation treatments. Achieving that ‘balance’, boys and girls, has proven to be a most difficult chore for this weakened, aging relic from a bygone era.
 
The urinary sphincter is severed as part of the prostate removal process. While mine has recovered considerably, it has never fully returned to complete normalcy in spite of lengthy Kegel exercises. That, of course, makes it more difficult to ‘hold my water’ long enough for the bladder to fully fill. Compounding that is the fact I also happen to have a somewhat relatively large bladder due to various circumstances throughout my adult life. That’s not all…
 
If that weren’t enough, in very recent years I’ve often tended to be somewhat mildly constipated much of the time. Medications are available over the counter to help with both those conditions, but unfortunately… Finding that delicate balance has so far proven to be quite an elusive target! I can do one or the other but accomplishing both at the same time in my case seems extremely difficult!
 
Recent attempts at voiding my bowels after laxative intake triggered diarrhea, so drinking large amounts of water didn’t actually fill my bladder, as much of the intake dumped into my bowels, leading to a fluid stool before my bladder even half filled! Empty bowels but a less than half full bladder simply won’t cut it…
 
Treating the nasty diarrhea led to a return to an actual but not uncomfortable level of constipation… not much ordinarily but just enough in this case, so… oh boy… Last Wednesday I had a liquid stool at the clinic while awaiting treatment, and much to my dismay I didn’t quite make it to the toilet in time… YUK!!! I gave up. I did see the doctor that day, however, and we decided I would take the rest of the day off, Christmas Eve and Day were both holidays, so I ended up having a four-day (five days without treatment) weekend for rest and recovery. Hopefully, things will settle down considerably, and we can return to the regular schedule on Monday.
 
Spiritual maintenance efforts have proven almost as challenging as the ‘waste discharge balancing act’. I’ve become very discouraged on several occasions, and I’ve even seriously thought about just throwing up my hands and returning to Florida. That, of course, would not be wise, so I haven’t pulled the trigger on that option… so far.
 
I’ve been unable to receive treatment on a total of four different scheduled days so far; therefore, I anticipate having to do ‘make-ups’ following my previously hoped-for emancipation date! There are no shortcuts when it comes to cancer treatment, though, so… I trudge on, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other... doing laundry more often than usual… for now…
 
DDT
 
 

[MAD6Gun]

 That sucks Bruce. Sometimes I wonder if the treatment can be worse then the disease it's trying to cure.  With my kidney issues and all the drugs I'm on I have had some gastric issues as well. The worst is that thought "that wasn't gas". It can be very embarrassing to not make it.

 Hang in there, you'll get through this and sooner then later it will be over and you will be back in the saddle. Keep your head up and remember my dad's words. "Gettin old ain't for sissies". As I get older I can't think of more truer words.

[Jersey mike]

Wow, I can’t imagine the trials and tribulations you’re going through.

As for the constipation I can only offer this. When I was taking pain medication for my neck, low dose Vicodin, and was having issues I asked my pain management doctor and his suggestion was simple. He told me to eat plain Cheerios as needed.

I started with 1 bowl that day and 1 bowl the 2nd day and on the afternoon of the second day it happened.

I continued to have the cereal every other day and was able to be regular on days in between.

If you can handle milk I would highly recommend this path over the over the counter medication.

[JimmyG]

Bruce, I am sorry you are going through this tuff time. It cannot be any part of joy to the world right now.  All I know to do is offer my hope for your healing and a prayer or two. I too have been having my own struggles with this thing called age.  Can't beat it, but we can invest in a much better after life program. Easy? Not for me, but hope gives us so much more than this earthy domain. 
Keep going my friend, we can't let the OLD MAN in...Yes, he is knocking at our door, just don't let him in yet...See ya later my friend

[f6john]

I wondered why we hadn’t heard from you in a little while. I can easily understand your feelings of discouragement. Keep up the good fight and don’t hesitate to call on the Lord for help. I hope you have some family support nearby as I know from past experience, my wife has probably done more to keep me healthy than anything else. You strength of character will be your greatest asset in dealing with all the problems you’re experiencing now. Just keep pushing forward, you’ll make it through.

[NewValker]

All good, healing thoughts and prayers to you Bruce.
Small bites- 1 day at a time...

Craig

[Valkorado]

Uggh.  I've been thinking of you often, Bruce.  Good thoughts and prayers for you are continuing, and I know I'm just one of many.  

Hang tough you vagabond tumbleweed bug killer.  Better days and aimless coddiewomples await you!

[scooperhsd]

Along with the Cheerios (there are many varieties to choose from, BTW), if you like oatmeal it should much the same as the Cheerios. And it can be baked into cookies (Yum). In fact, if you could PM me an address, I would like to make some up for you along with any preferences to go in them (I personally like dark chocolate chips and/or raisins the best)

As for the rest - hang tough.  "Gettin old ain't for sissies" has never been more true for you right now.

[Pluggy]

Sir you are correct.  There is no easy way.  You can be proud that you got on a good plan and are sticking with it.  There are people that will tell guys like us "Don't listen to the doctors".  I am here because I listened to the doctors.  Keep up the good work.

[Jess from VA]

Bruce, we are all pulling for you.

When times are tough and and you are feeling alone and outnumbered by adversity, it's time to make it one day at a time (I can win this battle today, screw tomorrow).  Count your (limited) blessings, read or watch uplifting messages and fight against the natural progression toward depression and low spirits.  Avoid the stressful, if possible.  

Try to change things up, walk (or something) for a little physical exercise, and find something that interests you for mental exercise.  Set small goals, and make them.  Day by day.

Easier said than done of course.  But you have to walk before you can run.

For me, humor has always been the best medicine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqafJMjBsns   

[Bret SD]

Bruce,
Hang in there, we all have our struggles, and comparing them is useless. I agree with Jess, at least walk and preferably do more. If I couldn't exercise and ride, I'd be in a world of hurt.

Steel that huge cranium of yours and resolve to gitter done.. keep fighting hard and never give in.. ever..

[f6gal]

Bruce,  I'm sorry you're having a rough go of it. 
I sent you a PM with a couple of suggestions. 

[The emperor has no clothes]

I've been afraid things weren't going stellar. I don't know how you do it. I can barely make it from my recliner to the bathroom in time. I'm glad you aren't throwing in the towel and going back to Florida. I wish I had some good advice or help. I don't. Your abilities to face adversity are far beyond mine. Brenda and I send our love and best wishes. I'm afraid that's all we have. Your friend, Rob

[Serk]

It hurts my heart to hear of your struggles...... Hoping you and your doctors can find the balance that works... Wish I had something more uplifting or helpful to add... 

[hubcapsc]

Hi Bruce... thinking about you daily, praying for you now...

-Mike

[Oss]

F E A R

False evidence appearing real


Only as you know, there can be no courage without it



You sir, have courage,  and bonus,you have an outlet for those feelings of exasperation and an audience of many true friends who are here for you, in spirit if not in person

Stay the course and hope to enjoy the wind with you this summer

It is ok to b itch and moan, it means you are human   And you long ago explained pooperosity   ???

Oss

Yeah we will keep you in our prayers for a refua shalaima (full healing)

[bassman]

Be strong....you have a LOT of people in your corner.  I can only imagine....actually I CAN'T imagine, what you are dealing with on a daily basis.  Hopefully,
this will all be in the past very soon and you will be able to move forward enjoying what you like the most.

 

[John Schmidt]

Bruce, I remember it well from my treatment in 2019. Why to they call it a "treatment"....it sure isn't a treat. My radar gun operators were more interested in the full or nearly full bladder(didn't allow much leeway though), that created enough of an issue by itself. The #2 issue...let's just say I didn't venture far from available facilities. I had to keep reminding myself that it will be behind me eventually and made it a point to look at life from the "other side" of the daily routine. It was a difficult time, coming right on the heels of a funeral.

Hold on just a bit longer my friend, you'll be glad you did....and so will the rest of us.  

[Rams]

I have no words of wisdom to share, only want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Stay the course and you will be victorious.   

Rams

[Bigwolf]

Bruce,
I have been thinking that this ordeal was more involved than I knew.  Thanks for the clarification.  I don’t have any words of experience or wisdom for you.  However, I would be happy to bring some bacon

[scooperhsd]

Now HOW can you resist Bacon ?

[JFaje1]

Bruce, I am sorry for your struggles right now and though I can't offer any help, I can give you a video to watch to give you a little laughter .One of the other posters said laughter is good for the soul, so here is one of my favorite funny men I know. Hope you enjoy.
John
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMR2C09hmhA

[Beardo]

If respect and admiration of your friends could heal, you’d be better and back on ALI in no time. I do believe that prayers do work however, and you’ve got plenty coming your way.

Keep your chin up Bruce. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but I know you’ve got many more (s)miles left in you.

[RNFWP]

Been thinking about you and watching for your posts. Hate to hear of your struggles.
Pulling for you with positive expectations.

[Sweet Cheeks]

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles Bruce.

I was exposed to the crappy virus earlier this month.  I have not had any symptoms, but am still quarantining anyway.  I have two more days to stay put.  After that, if you’d like some company one day, give me a shout and I’ll be glad to ride over that way.

Sending you much love and hope for the future my friend.

Janice

[Farside]

 Morning Bruce, I know I will be able to say "Good Morning" in the near future.  You will over come this set back. You are strong so stay the course. Don't let the devil cast any doubt in your mind. With all the riding you've put in just keep your thougths on getting back in the saddle and the adventures you've been on. Heck, start that book that I've always thought you ought to put together, it'd be a fun read. It will sharpen your mind along w/ bringing happiness to you for sharing your experience. I know your team of friends will enjoy reading your adventures. I want my copy signed of course

[henry 008]

 stay the course and get better, 1 day at a time. 

[thedon]

Bruce,
At Inzane in New Mexico you told me everything will work out. And it did. Then last year before Inzane I had to go through radiation treatments. 38 days, same as you are doing now. Bowel empty, bladder full. It was terrible finding the sweet spot where both were good. But I did it. My PSA went from 0.7 before the treatment to less than 0.1 after the treatment.
You can do this my friend.

[Daniel Meyer]

Well here's hoping for smooth moves, fluid retention, and successful treatments.

Yah, that's all I got.

Thinking about ya Bruce! Wishing the best!

[Wizzard]

Bruce, you are one of the bravest men I know to face this the way you do. Stay strong my friend and this too will pass as you have a huge support here. I pray for you always. Thanks for keeping us up to date. Makes my heart hurt to read it but that is necessary.

[Smokinjoe-VRCCDS#0005]

Hate hearing this my friend wish I had some words of wisdom for you I get most of my words of wisdom from you . Best wishes Bruce.

[phideux]

I can relate to what you are putting up with. I was diagnosed with Bladder Cancer and a Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma earlier this year. I just finished up a 12 week run of Chemo right before Christmas. I have been lucky so far with side effects, Drs meds and some self medicating, the worst just being a wiped out feeling. Next month I will go see the next set of docs for surgery. One day at a time.
Being in the Emergency Med game my docs wouldn't let me work through Chemo, they worry about exposure and stuff and the chemo messing with my immune system.
Luckily I have AFLAC, plus I paid for a long term disability upgrade at work, plus I live a pretty much debt free life, so financially I haven't taken a bad hit. On my good days I ride, fish, work around the house, I've been on a 3.5 month staycation so far.
It was 60s today, went for a ride, unfortunately though, not on one of the Valks. The Dyna was sitting in the carport so I took that one out.