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Author Topic: Guino the Penguin  (Read 1194 times)
Mooskee
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Southport NC


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« on: May 19, 2021, 09:03:27 AM »

Guino is a stuffed penguin. He is not an actual penguin. He is a 9-inch-high stuffed animal somewhat resembling a penguin. Over the years he has accompanied me on numerous motorcycle trips.  He rides strapped to the back seat. These days he has a special harness. On this particular trip, I had not perfected the harness, which precipitated a situation.

Daniel and I were riding our Valkyrie motorcycles in Virginia out of Massanutten.  We would run down the interstate and then turn off and find our way back on the secondary mountain roads. One morning, we were running down the interstate, and Guino flipped off the back seat. Daniel, who was behind me, did some fancy riding to avoid running over the penguin, then rode up next to me indicating we needed to stop. This was well before we had bike to bike communications, or even cell phones. He told me what happened, and we began to ride up and down the side of the road looking for the penguin. We looped back several times looking for him, with no success. We turned around in a cut through, to go back for another search. When we got to the next cut through, Daniel kept going when I turned in. The highway split, and I didn’t want to get separated, so I just sat there knowing Daniel would come back to that spot eventually.

Soon a service truck pulled up. Two workers got out and said, “They are watching you on the cameras, and want to know what you are doing.” I said, “Cameras?” They replied, “Yes there are cameras on the top of those high mast light poles.” I said, “We are looking for a penguin.” I was thinking that will get Big Brother all riled up. I got a real funny look from them, but before they could carry me off to the loony bin, Daniel rode up.

I said, “Did you find the penguin?” Daniel replied, “Yea, he’s in my saddle bag, thinking about what he did.”

The two service truck workers never said a word. They just shook their heads, got in the truck, and drove off.

Guino had to stay in the saddle bag until I made a more secure harness, and he learned to behave.



« Last Edit: May 19, 2021, 09:14:04 AM by Mooskee » Logged

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..
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Posts: 27796


Maggie Valley, NC


« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2021, 09:41:56 AM »

 cooldude

Penguins Lives Matter.
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Jess from VA
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No VA


« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2021, 10:00:22 AM »

Funny!  cooldude
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John Schmidt
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a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike

De Pere, WI (Green Bay)


« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2021, 10:15:15 AM »

Another story even more life changing...for me anyway!  Wink  Some years ago on my way to meet up with some other Fla. members for lunch, I had stopped at a nearby Dunkin Donut for a coffee and a couple donuts(or doughnuts if you prefer) to carry me over til lunch which was at least two or more hours later. As I pulled out onto the nearby six lane highway I commenced eating one donut and sipping the coffee, having already stuffed the remaining donut in my jacket pocket. Next I pulled onto the freeway heading west and moved along at ~65mph during which I passed an elderly couple casually tooling along in a 1956 Oldsmoble. I reached my exit and at the bottom of the ramp I caught the light which gave me a chance to dig out my remaining  donut. I reached into my jacket pocket and it was gone...then I heard a car horn tooting behind me. The light was still red so I turned around, thinking maybe it was someone I knew; it was the couple in the '56 Olds, laughing hysterically and pointing to the airplane shaped hood ornament. There was my donut, caught perfectly in the center of the hole. I got off, retrieved the donut, bowed to the couple as a thank-you, remounted and continued on my way. Obviously it had been blown out of my jacket by the wind beating against the side.

Life's humorous events...losing a penguin, a donut, a can of beer, all of which were recovered. Actually the beer wasn't lost. About 35 yrs ago I was active with the GWRRA group and a handful of us were on a lunch run to the east coast of Florida. We all had CB's and intercoms and I recall one gal corider asked if anyone had something to drink...one clown said he had a beer in his jacket. Jokingly, she asked if he'd toss it back...so he did. Just tossed straight up and as they drove up without stopping she reached up and caught it, neither bike missed a beat or slowed down. Me...I veered way off the lane just in case  everything went wrong. Grin
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Jess from VA
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No VA


« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2021, 10:56:52 AM »

Then there was the guy driving a refrigerator truck full of penguins cross country to the San Diego Zoo.

He broke down in Flagstaff and was worried he's lose the whole load.

But another refrigerator truck pulled up empty, and the two reached an agreement that the one would put the penguins in his truck and take them to the zoo, while the other guy would get his truck fixed and meet the other in San Diego. The guy with the broke truck gave the other guy some money to cover expenses.  

Well the guy made it to San Diego the next day in his repaired truck and went to the zoo, and no penguins.  He looked all over town, and no penguins.  Finally, dejected, he went to the beach, wondering how he would pay for the loss.

Out of the blue, the other guy comes walking down the surf with 50 penguins following him waddling along happy.

HEY, I paid you to take those penguns to the zoo!!!!

I did take them to the zoo, but I had some money left over, so I brought them down to the beach.   Grin



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GiG
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« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2021, 11:15:22 AM »

CLASSIC

https://youtu.be/ZUabDrfjATY?t=7


A penguin had to take his car for engine repair. A penguin car.

The mechanic told the penguin to leave his car with him for about two hours, to find out whats wrong.

The penguin goes across the street to a grocery store, climbs into a freezer and ate vanilla ice cream. Penquins love ice cream.

When the two hours was up the penguin went back to the garage to find out what happened to his car.

When the penguin entered the garage, the mechanic looked at him and said, "Looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin replied, "NO way, thats vanilla ice-cream! Just fix the damn car!"
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(Then be sure to send it to OSS... C.O.D.)

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Mooskee
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Southport NC


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« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2021, 01:04:14 PM »

Like the old fella said, “The first liar never had a chance!”  Wink

Through no fault of my own, I was born on April Fool’s Day. Over the years my children have played some elaborate birthday pranks on me.

My sons were stationed in San Diego. For a year I lived 60 miles up the coast in San Clemente working at San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station. We shut it down and I moved to North Carolina, but still had my California cell phone number. So, on April fools’ day my oldest son posted a Craig’s list ad for a free penguin, and listed my phone number. It went Something like this:

Free to a good home. I have a penguin that I can no longer keep because I am moving away from San Diego. He comes with a 30,000-gallon tank, and all the equipment to take care of him. He loves the ocean, so he has a 50-foot leash with a harness so he can play in the surf. I am willing to give everything to someone who can take good care of him. Call (my phone number)

I was inundated with calls. Some of the people were really serious. Some got mad when I tried to explain it was an April Fool’s joke. Some laughed. One couple that actually owned an exotic animal sanctuary was VERY interested. I could not convince them it was a joke. It only took me a hot minute to figure out what to do.  I told them they were correct. I am serious. I was just trying to make sure someone was serious about taking the penguin before I gave him away. I told them I had someone taking care of the transfer, and gave them my son’s number. The ad was taken down shortly after.
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sandy
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Mesa, AZ.


« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2021, 04:10:51 PM »

You Tuber (Sarah n Tuned) uses Penguins in her videos. She’s a treat for the eyes too.
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0leman
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Posts: 2294


Klamath Falls, Or


« Reply #8 on: May 20, 2021, 07:56:49 AM »

When my DW's back started bothering her and she didn't enjoy our two up rides anymore, she got me a bear to ride along with me.   I used bungie cord to hold him in the back seat of the I/S.  Well the strap broke and bear got lost.  Not sure where but he went somewhere.   Now have a bear and a monkey in the back seat, with two bungie cords holding them in place.  Do get strange looks from some folks, and have to worn a several little ones that the pipes are hot and not come too close. 
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2006 Shadow Spirit 1100 gone but not forgotten
1999 Valkryie  I/S  Green/Silver
Jess from VA
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« Reply #9 on: May 20, 2021, 09:00:08 AM »

I don't believe she was originally a girl. 
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