Harley My Ass!!!

Harley My Ass!!!

Nope, this is definitely not another piece purposefully poo-pooing our rival scoot from Milwaukee. It is a lament of sorts, however, and I suppose it does indirectly disparage to a slight degree that venerable icon of the two-wheeled riding world. I just couldn't help myself, see... the comparison was just so obvious... Perhaps a little background might offer some context...

All of this has to do with a certain friend Big Wolf has... No ordinary guy either, and among his several curious features is the simple fact he is seeing a continual change in the length of his teeth. In fact, it could be reasonably claimed that that one thing is chiefly responsible for most, if not all, of the other things that cause an occasional groan and the furrowing of brows now and then...

It's been said that a guy is growing older when he sometimes forgets to zip-up. It goes on to say that a guy is old when he sometimes forgets to zip-down. If only that were the sole issue during that progression towards the ultimate twisty road ride in the sky... life could be much simpler and visits to the laundromat less frequent... But first...

That friend of Jerry's has most of the symptoms typical with the accumulation of many birthdays... in particular forgetfulness. See that guy once had a doctor's appointment show-up on his handy-dandy calendar in his I-phone. Rain in the forecast seemed to make it inadvisable for him to make that appointment on his scooter however... and things got really complicated.

Being the helpful sort he is, Jerry offered to drive his friend the three-hundred fifty miles in his own car, and that became the ultimate plan. The appointed day arrived and his friend showed up in the waiting room right on time and signed in. In a very few minutes he was called back to the desk by the nice lady tracking all the paperwork and informed his appointment had been changed, that he did not have one that day.

A quick gander at his electronic calendar confirmed the new date/time ten days hence had also been entered... Alas, the old one had simply not been removed... Dang, a near total bust of a trip! Fortunately there had been modest compensation involved with the fact a road trip had occurred and a watering hole visit had taken place the evening before. Even the driving chore had been shared... still... that particular experience clearly should be recorded on the scorecard as an 'unforced error'...

One fine morning following a fairly good slumber session... which would have been much better were it not for the frequent nocturnal visits to the potty, the 'long ride' continued. The events that day had been the usual sensational as wind therapy continued to work its magic allowing the pain of recent loss to continue to ease for Jerry's pal. On the other hand, we can't seem to have the good without some of the not-so-good happening at the same time...

During the day a fart had slipped out and something seemed not quite right about it. Jerry's friend did a quick precautionary examination at the first opportunity and discovered a simple affirmation of another old saying known to all geezers... "Never ever trust a fart".

No ordinary skid mark(s), either, like something a sport bike might leave at a jackrabbit start... Nope, it was more like the mark one of those world renowned 'real' bikes might leave following an overnight park! Yep, it reminded that rider more of an oil puddle. Sometimes these occurrences add a whole new perspective to the terms 'Crotch Rocket' and 'Geezer Geyser', also.

Could it be that something really sinister is actually what's going on here? Is it possible that aging carries with it a transition away from a metric orientation, and towards... something else? Does one's body mirror those changes and adopt new ways of adjusting to that dreaded descent that ultimately will return the carcass to a recliner someplace? Quite simply, were we witnessing the early symptoms of the much dreaded 'Harley Heinie Syndrome'? Jerry's pal was plenty worried!

I know this for certain about him, too, so I'm not actually speculating here or speaking out of school. I do know Jerry's friend and riding bud rather well, you see... In fact, I've known him my entire life...

DDT