John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #120 on: January 14, 2022, 03:33:45 PM » |
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The current administration.
Totally agree, the problem with political jokes is...sometimes they get elected.  |
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DIGGER
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« Reply #121 on: January 15, 2022, 02:39:49 AM » |
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Lone Ranger Trivia….
Did you know that the Lone Ranger ended up killing Tonto in real life????
He found out “KEMOSABI” was Indian for “SONOFABITCH”
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John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #122 on: January 15, 2022, 11:32:07 AM » |
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I'm trying to get more exercise in 2022, so if I drop a cookie on the floor and bend to pick it up...that qualifies as a squat...right?
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Mooskee
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« Reply #123 on: January 15, 2022, 09:26:30 PM » |
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John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #124 on: January 19, 2022, 09:13:57 AM » |
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For you old timers: What did Lawrence Welk name his daughters? Anna1, Anna2, Anna1234... OK...you had to be there/watching!  |
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« Last Edit: January 24, 2022, 07:30:24 AM by John Schmidt »
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DIGGER
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« Reply #125 on: January 19, 2022, 11:49:43 AM » |
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Guess who I bumped into on my way to my Optimologist appointment…..
Everyone
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Serk
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« Reply #126 on: January 21, 2022, 09:41:54 AM » |
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...  IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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DIGGER
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« Reply #127 on: January 22, 2022, 08:46:57 AM » |
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And God told men that there would be good and faithful wives waiting in all the corners of the earth…..and then he made the earth round….and laughed and laughed
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DIGGER
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« Reply #128 on: January 22, 2022, 09:15:58 AM » |
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My wife wanted to “disgrace” me in front of a bunch of her friends and told them I was a sorry lover….she was taken a back when they all disagreed.
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f6gal
Administrator
Member
Posts: 6882
Surprise, AZ
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« Reply #129 on: January 22, 2022, 12:45:48 PM » |
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A company is introducing glass coffins. Will they be successful? Remains to be seen!  Where does a one-legged waitress work? I-Hop!  What do call a woman with one leg? Eileen What do call a Asian woman with one leg? Irene |
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« Last Edit: January 22, 2022, 12:50:25 PM by f6gal »
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f6gal
Administrator
Member
Posts: 6882
Surprise, AZ
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« Reply #130 on: January 22, 2022, 12:52:40 PM » |
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Where does a one-legged waitress work? I-Hop! Gives a whole new meaning to tipping your waitress. |
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« Last Edit: January 22, 2022, 09:57:30 PM by f6gal »
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John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #131 on: January 22, 2022, 08:48:36 PM » |
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Connie, I like yours better.  |
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RP#62
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« Reply #132 on: January 23, 2022, 08:18:58 AM » |
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Do you know what the loneliest waterway in the world is?
Bayou Self
-RP
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f6gal
Administrator
Member
Posts: 6882
Surprise, AZ
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« Reply #133 on: January 23, 2022, 10:57:04 AM » |
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Connie, I like yours better. I was looking for some jokes referencing the vertically challenged but, I discovered very few worthy of sharing. It seems we're running short of those.  |
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f6gal
Administrator
Member
Posts: 6882
Surprise, AZ
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« Reply #134 on: January 23, 2022, 11:12:38 AM » |
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Connie, I like yours better. I was looking for some jokes referencing the vertically challenged but, I discovered very few worthy of sharing. It seems we're running short of those. Rams, your wife told me about the time you ran to the doctor in a panic because you were getting shorter (happens to old people). The doc had to tell you to calm down, you were going to have to learn to be a little patient. |
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Serk
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« Reply #135 on: January 23, 2022, 01:48:03 PM » |
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #136 on: January 24, 2022, 06:29:58 AM » |
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The new generic viagra name----Mycoxafailin
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 VRCC # 24157 |
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Skinhead
Member
Posts: 8724
J. A. B. O. A.
Troy, MI
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« Reply #137 on: January 24, 2022, 06:37:35 AM » |
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New drug for frustrated lesbians - TryCoxAgain.
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 Troy, MI |
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DIGGER
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« Reply #138 on: January 24, 2022, 06:38:59 AM » |
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A lady wakes up one morning and discovers her husband is not in bed. She gets up and goes looking for him and finds him in the kitchen sitting at the table crying his eyes out. She consoles him and asks “Whats the matter honey?” He looks at her and says “do you remember back 20 yrs ago when we were young and in high school and I got you pregnant and your Dad stuck that shotgun in my face and said either you marry my daughter or do 20 yrs in prison?” The wife said “Yes, I do.” The husband said “I would of got out of prison today.”
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Jess from VA
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« Reply #139 on: January 24, 2022, 06:45:44 AM » |
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'Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.' Ronald Reagan
The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it'. Ronald Reagan
'I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting'. Ronald Reagan
Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either. Gore Vidal
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Mark Twain
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature. Kin Hubbard
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. PJ O'Rourke
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. Will Rogers
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« Last Edit: January 24, 2022, 06:49:50 AM by Jess from VA »
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Serk
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« Reply #140 on: January 24, 2022, 06:57:54 AM » |
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Resistance is futile....................
Actually, resistance is voltage divided by current. That thar's funny, don't care who U R. Let us meditate upon this truth... ....Ohmmmmmmmm.............. |
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #141 on: January 24, 2022, 07:56:11 AM » |
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when I was young the world was normal and I took some stuff to make it crazy, now the world is crazy and I need zanax to make it normal.
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VRCC # 24157 |
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Serk
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« Reply #142 on: January 24, 2022, 08:25:31 AM » |
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Let us meditate upon this truth...
....Ohmmmmmmmm..............
Gave that up when I got my new calming meds. Rams I know, the joke's not funny if you hafta 'splain it, but Ohm's law is what defines resistance being voltage divided by current... |
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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Jess from VA
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« Reply #143 on: January 24, 2022, 08:26:09 AM » |
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The funniest thing I ever heard that was/is actually real G, military and corporate policy everywhere is....
the whippings will continue until moral improves.
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RP#62
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« Reply #144 on: January 24, 2022, 08:33:37 AM » |
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There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.
-RP
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Serk
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« Reply #145 on: January 24, 2022, 08:37:40 AM » |
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There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.
-RP
Now we're talking! Remember kids, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. |
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #146 on: January 24, 2022, 08:47:39 AM » |
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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count and those who can't
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VRCC # 24157 |
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Tazman11
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« Reply #147 on: January 24, 2022, 08:58:58 AM » |
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My small contribution to a great forum topic.
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant. "Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off."
"Lady," the attendant said,
"Indians don't use saddles."
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DIGGER
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« Reply #148 on: January 24, 2022, 09:11:30 AM » |
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A young boy was pushing a lawnmower down the street when a local preacher pulled up next to him on a bicycle and offered to buy the lawnmower from him. The boy told the preacher “its not for sale but I will trade my lawnmower for your bike.” Preacher said “ok” and the exchange was made. Next day the preacher saw the boy coming down the street on the bike and flagged him down. The preacher told the boy “you cheated me as this lawnmower wont crank”. The boy said “yes it will but you have to cuss while you are pulling the rope.” The preacher said “ I’m a preacher and I dont cuss”. The boy said “you pull on that rope enough you will”.
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DIGGER
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« Reply #149 on: January 24, 2022, 11:15:11 AM » |
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What do women get when they take a LSD pill and a birth control pill at the same time?
A trip without the kids.
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f6gal
Administrator
Member
Posts: 6882
Surprise, AZ
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« Reply #150 on: January 24, 2022, 11:43:17 AM » |
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Resistance is futile....................
Actually, resistance is voltage divided by current. That thar's funny, don't care who U R. Let us meditate upon this truth... ....Ohmmmmmmmm.............. How the heck did this get into this thread? The resistance comment was in the football thread.  |
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Serk
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« Reply #151 on: January 24, 2022, 12:09:52 PM » |
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In the old west, they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.
...it was the first instance of saddle light navigation.
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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DIGGER
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« Reply #152 on: January 24, 2022, 02:47:14 PM » |
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In the old west, they would mount a lantern on their horse for traveling at night.
...it was the first instance of saddle light navigation.
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Moonshot_1
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« Reply #153 on: January 24, 2022, 06:24:02 PM » |
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Resistance is futile....................
Actually, resistance is voltage divided by current. That thar's funny, don't care who U R. Let us meditate upon this truth... ....Ohmmmmmmmm.............. Watt's all this about? |
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Mike Luken
Cherokee, Ia.
Former Iowa Patriot Guard Ride Captain
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Moonshot_1
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« Reply #154 on: January 24, 2022, 06:39:04 PM » |
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There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.
-RP
Now we're talking! Remember kids, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate. Reminded me of this: If you're not part of the solution, then there's good money in prolonging the problem. |
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Mike Luken
Cherokee, Ia.
Former Iowa Patriot Guard Ride Captain
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Gryphon
Member
Posts: 544
Resistance is futile; if less than 1 ohm.
Fulton, MO
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« Reply #155 on: January 25, 2022, 06:09:22 AM » |
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I know, the joke's not funny if you hafta 'splain it, but Ohm's law is what defines resistance being voltage divided by current... I believe I might have heard of that...........(See signature line) |
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« Last Edit: January 25, 2022, 06:13:39 AM by Gryphon »
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John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15193
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #156 on: January 25, 2022, 09:03:37 AM » |
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Why did the snail paint an "S" on his dragster?
So his friends would say "look at that s-car-go!"
What is Forest Gump's computer password?
1forest1
Did you hear about the French cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but DE BRIE!
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« Last Edit: January 25, 2022, 09:14:38 AM by John Schmidt »
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Serk
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« Reply #157 on: January 25, 2022, 11:17:08 AM » |
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One of the triplets got a hold of my VRCC calendar and ripped the 5th month out.
...I'm dis-May'ed...
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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RP#62
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« Reply #158 on: January 25, 2022, 03:26:49 PM » |
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Robbers broke into the police station and stole the toilet. Police said they have nothing to go on.
-RP
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Serk
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« Reply #159 on: January 25, 2022, 05:54:34 PM » |
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Robbers broke into the police station and stole the toilet. Police said they have nothing to go on.
-RP
Sadly this one isn't a joke, but it should be so I'll tag it on here - when I was in South Africa, I noticed the police stations all had signs saying they were protected by private security.  I asked the locals about this, apparently the police had been hamstrung by the government to the point that robbers would break into the police stations in broad daylight to steal the guns and other fun toys, and the police weren't allowed to do anything about it. So the police had to hire private armed security to protect the guns that the police weren't allowed to use anyway. Makes sense to me! |
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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