John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15209
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
 |
« on: February 16, 2022, 06:52:21 PM » |
|
Most are aware of how I was treated by her kids re. the house following her death. Originally I was going to give the ring to her daughter but now nearly 3 yrs. later I question whether it's deserved. By itself, I have no use for the ring now even though there's slight emotional attachment to it. Considering my years, I'll never be in the position again to have need of a wedding ring, and even if I did I wouldn't feel right in using this one. It's a combination of her engagement and wedding ring. She had tiny hands and the two rings on her hand were a problem for her so she had the two rings combined into one, using the engagement solitare as a center piece, replacing the miniatures that made up the original center of the wedding ring. I'm sure this will create some backlash, does anyone think I'm being heartless or judgemental? I have no idea the size of the diamond, it's probably a little less than 3/4 carat. The papers have long since disappeared and I simply don't recall what it is, too many years have passed.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Serk
|
|
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2022, 06:59:07 PM » |
|
Speaking from experience from my first girlfriend (And MAJOR learning experience) that I stupidly proposed to three times, and she sold each ring I bought for her (Yeah, I know, I was young dumb and......) the used market value for wedding rings isn't very good... You'll likely not get anywhere NEAR what it's "worth" in actual cash in hand.
You might wanna take it to a jewelry shop or three and see what they offer you for it, it might be so negligible that it's not worth the heartache of selling it, and letting it stay in the family, or even stay with you maybe as a necklace or something, would be the better option.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...  IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
|
|
|
OnaWingandaPrayer
|
|
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2022, 07:19:45 PM » |
|
You invested in this ring to show your love and commitment which you honored . The way the children treated you I dont see where you "owe "them anything.
As Serk mentioned the market may be small . Not to discount its value to you , It may be worth more as a Diamond and a bit of gold . Perhaps take it to a jewler and have it smelted/remade into necklace piece you would wear and treasure as a reminder of all the joys ya'll shared.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15209
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2022, 07:38:18 PM » |
|
Forgot to mention...I did have a wholesaler look at it, they get their stuff for pennies on the dollar and that's what he offered me. Thought about having my daughter list it on Facebook Market Place for a few hundred or maybe a bit more. If no credible bites, I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
Valker
Member
Posts: 2995
Wahoo!!!!
Texas Panhandle
|
|
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2022, 07:42:58 PM » |
|
I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
There's your answer right there. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
I ride a motorcycle because nothing transports me as quickly from where I am to who I am.
|
|
|
|
JimC
|
|
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2022, 07:52:30 PM » |
|
If you give it to your grand daughter she can always have it made into a neckless, or something crafty. The small specialty shops love doing that kind of thing. She would most likely cherish it.
I would put it in a bottle with a note and throw it in the ocean before I would give it to your step children after the way they treated you.
Jim
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Jim Callaghan SE Wisconsin
|
|
|
|
Serk
|
|
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2022, 08:01:37 PM » |
|
I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
There's your answer right there. Concur. Cut out the generation that did you wrong, don't hold it against the generation that honored and respected you (And Rita). Just make sure the generation that did you wrong can't swoop in and guilt/take it from the generation that did you right. To the point of leaving it in your will if you have to..... |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
|
|
|
Jess from VA
|
|
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2022, 08:15:20 PM » |
|
I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
There's your answer right there.Unless you can get enough from it to get you something important, I agree the gift to granddaughter is the way to go (assuming it will mean something to her). And I wouldn't wait. I gave some rare jade to my (only) niece, and may give her my 18K wedding ring(s) and curb wrist chain and a necklace or two as well. It's all nice stuff, but I never wear jewelry (and am not attached to any of it). I don't even wear a watch 90% of the time (all I need to know is if it's light or dark out). And I don't feel like running around trying to sell it (even though altogether it might amount to something as gold, not stones). And I won't sell anything from my home but a vehicle. I'll let her keep or sell them. Another small point. Some girls might put the ring as is on a chain. That's fine with a 6 point setting, but a good way to lose the stone in a 4 point setting. Just saying. |
|
|
|
« Last Edit: February 16, 2022, 08:28:05 PM by Jess from VA »
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
f6gal
Administrator
Member
Posts: 6882
Surprise, AZ
|
|
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2022, 08:15:35 PM » |
|
I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
There's your answer right there. Concur. Cut out the generation that did you wrong, don't hold it against the generation that honored and respected you (And Rita). Just make sure the generation that did you wrong can't swoop in and guilt/take it from the generation that did you right. To the point of leaving it in your will if you have to..... I believe John was saying his granddaughter, IOW Rita's step-granddaughter.... if that's the case, John's step-children wouldn't have much chance of guilting it away from the granddaughter. Plus, I figure John's oldest granddaughter is late 30's, maybe even 40 (could be wrong)... she isn't a child that could be easily manipulated. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15209
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2022, 08:47:08 PM » |
|
I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
There's your answer right there. Concur. Cut out the generation that did you wrong, don't hold it against the generation that honored and respected you (And Rita). Just make sure the generation that did you wrong can't swoop in and guilt/take it from the generation that did you right. To the point of leaving it in your will if you have to..... I believe John was saying his granddaughter, IOW Rita's step-granddaughter.... if that's the case, John's step-children wouldn't have much chance of guilting it away from the granddaughter. Plus, I figure John's oldest granddaughter is late 30's, maybe even 40 (could be wrong)... she isn't a child that could be easily manipulated. You're right Connie, she'll be 43 this spring, been through a lot in her life...more than the step-kids ever have. I often will get an "I love you gramps" text out of the blue, brightens my day. Nobody else does that for me anymore. As for my two girls, I already gave each one a diamond pendant necklace with matching diamond stud earrings that I had given Rita over the years...they were thrilled & cried over it. My youngest daughter that lives near me took it all to her favorite jeweler and had him make a beautiful ring out of the three pieces. She figured if she wore the necklace she'd end up losing it when the chain broke. Her gift to do with as she pleased. The granddaughter in question is coming for a visit later this spring so if I don't get a worthwhile price for the ring, I'll give it to her then. She's planning to come alone so as to have some "just gramps and me time" for a few days. Said she needs a break from work(supervisor with the VA) and her two boys and husband. Had to chuckle at that, then asked which break was the most important; the work or the family. Her answer..."yes!"  You know she's special, she and her husband each ride their own bikes.  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Jersey mike
|
|
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2022, 01:13:16 AM » |
|
Why not turn it into a key ring or another such item to carry with you and have at all times, even like if you carry a money clip.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
scooperhsd
|
|
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2022, 05:46:17 AM » |
|
Sounds to me like gifting it to the step granddaughter is the way to go.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
..
|
|
« Reply #12 on: February 17, 2022, 06:18:32 AM » |
|
I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
There's your answer right there. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
DDT (12)
Member
Posts: 4112
Sometimes ya just gotta go...
Winter Springs, FL - Occasionally...
|
|
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2022, 07:22:35 AM » |
|
I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
There's your answer right there. John, No one is closer to this than you are; therefore, only you can possibly know as much as you do about what might be best. Based solely upon what I've read on here, however, I'm inclined to agree with Eric... Best of luck to you!!! DDT |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
Don't just dream it... LIVE IT!
See ya down the road...
|
|
|
h13man
Member
Posts: 1750
To everything there is an exception.
Indiana NW Central Flatlands
|
|
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2022, 08:06:56 AM » |
|
I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
There's your answer right there. Totally agree and it's a poke at the rest of "family".  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Hook#3287
|
|
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2022, 08:30:11 AM » |
|
I'll either keep it or give it to my eldest granddaughter who was a big help at times during the last few years of life. She loved Rita and the feeling was mutual.
There's your answer right there. Totally agree and it's a poke at the rest of "family". John, if you don't have the will or heart or whatever to turn it into something you will carry for the rest of your time for the memories it will bring, give it to your grand daughter, so she can. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15209
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #16 on: February 17, 2022, 08:41:05 PM » |
|
Strange we're talking about that particular granddaughter. She called today, asking if I was going to be home over the weekend of my birthday, she's coming up for a visit. A good time to do the deed. I'll wait and see how she reacts before posting here.
|
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
f6john
Member
Posts: 9341
Christ first and always
Richmond, Kentucky
|
|
« Reply #17 on: February 18, 2022, 06:35:34 AM » |
|
Strange we're talking about that particular granddaughter. She called today, asking if I was going to be home over the weekend of my birthday, she's coming up for a visit. A good time to do the deed. I'll wait and see how she reacts before posting here.
Now that’s special right there. A 40 something that’s dealing with all the challenge of today’s world but still takes time to remember the important, special people in their lives. Someone who gives of their time is sharing a most precious commodity. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Pappy!
|
|
« Reply #18 on: February 18, 2022, 04:50:24 PM » |
|
I am biting my tongue on this one John. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15209
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2022, 07:52:48 PM » |
|
I am biting my tongue on this one John. Yes...I know how you feel and it's echoed by others. The granddaughter I spoke of lives in Sanford, we've been close most of her life...more so as years passed. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
t-man403
Member
Posts: 1663
Valk-a-maniac
Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
|
|
« Reply #20 on: February 19, 2022, 07:46:38 AM » |
|
All of us know that you know this already but I’ll say it anyway….if this was me, regardless if my decision as to who received the ring, I would not let it be known I put it on a forum for a bit of input even though I knew what I would do all along.  |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
"Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth". Chuck Norris
|
|
|
John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15209
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
|
|
« Reply #21 on: February 19, 2022, 10:34:53 AM » |
|
All of us know that you know this already but I’ll say it anyway….if this was me, regardless if my decision as to who received the ring, I would not let it be known I put it on a forum for a bit of input even though I knew what I would do all along. That's my plan. |
|
|
|
|
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
