Considerations of your own demise.

[Rams]

We all have lost loved ones at some point in our lives.   Having lost both my parents (mother just a few months ago) I was selected as Executor of both estates.   That job sucks.  Knowing this in advance, I did my best to convince both parents to seriously consider their own demise and how they wanted things handled.  This they both did.

I assure you; a Will won't cover every aspect and can cause survivors/family issues but, that's not the crux of this thread.   Both of my parents decided to make my life post their demise easier than it could have been by addressing those decisions that the Executor would have to determine with or without family agreement.

My motorcycle crash (on a Valkyrie) a few years ago made me consider what could have happened had that crash been just a tad bit more severe and since I'm still an active rider what could still happen.   Fourteen broken bones, lungs punctured, brain injury and other damages make one think about such arrangements while recovering and post recovery.  

While religious convictions do make a difference in the decisions we make, passing away/dying involves a lot more things for the survivors than just that.  Knowing that I am within a decade or so of the ages my parents and grandparents passed away, I've given my own passing quite a bit of thought since that crash.

While I really don't care who takes possession of my "stuff", I do want to make that time as easy on my surviving family as it can be made.   I have told my family my wishes but, after I'm gone, it won't really matter (to me) if they don't do as I've asked.  

I don't care if there is a funeral, that's for the family to decide.   I personally think such expenses are a huge waste of resources that can better be used for other priorities.  But what I do want is my surviving family to have as many options financially as possible.   Have made it clear that if some University will take what's left of me for research or training of future doctors, that's fine with me.   Post demise, I don't wish to take up space in a cemetery.   I don't need a marker on a plot that will mean nothing to people a decade from now much less a century from now.  

The things that are important to me are to ensure that my family has as many options as possible to live long and happy lives.  Each of my two adult offspring will get a Valkyrie.  

I'm looking at Trusts to place all my physical properties into, pre-paid disposal costs for this magnificent body   I've used up and simply how to make this transition for my family easier.

Just curious as to what others have done to achieve similar goals if, that's actually been considered or done.   I may not have thought of everything.  As a Valkyrie community, we're all getting older and none of us will survive and live forever, speaking of our physical bodies.  (Again, this is not intended to be a religious or non-religious thread.) I expect all three of the Valkyries in my stable to outlive me.

Rams   or    You decide.  

[carolinarider09]

Your list is much better than mine.

We have set up funeral arrangement for my wife and I. Its prepaid.  And since cremation is the process that we selected, there will be no need for a "grave" site.  Were the ashes go is up to our children.

We have set up an executor for the wills we both have documented. 

There are a few other things that have been "decreed" in those wills.  For instance, the house we built and own and the land that it is on, has been "left" to my oldest daughter. 

The value of that property will be deducted from the overall estate value (she does not have to take it but....) so the distribution of remaining assets will take that into account to ensure a fair and equal distribution of our assets.

The only real drawback that I have not considered (and I probably won't unless we or the last remaining person decides to leave this house and enter into a "Home") is how to manage all the "stuff" we have outside of the home.

Vehicles, motorcycles, tractor, all kinds of "stuff" that someone might find useful but who knows.

I have the Observatory and the Telescopes to consider as well and have not made a formal decision on them since times are changing regarding the use of optical devices.

The above may not be an issues in that my daughters  have stated they would like to keep the house we are now living in and retire here.  Could work except the house was designed for my wife and I with a single master bedroom downstairs (two upstairs for our two daughter should they visit).  So, my daughter has asked for the house plans and I have give them to her. 

About as far as I have gotten.

[old2soon]

    Cremation ahes in the wall at the Springfield Veterans Cemetery. Far as whats left Ross-daprez-has right of first refusal on whatever M/C I'm astride prior to my exit from life. My Church gits everything else but as My S I L stated when she drew up my will in order to Not give 2 ex Wives and 6 offspring anything I Must give them something. So all 8 of them are in fer a $1.00 apiece. I will NOT go into the whys and wherefores of them gittin a buck each. Also amuses me greatly I'm still here comin up on 80 circuits around our sun cuz I just KNOW That upsets or P Os a lot of folks I knew!  RIDE SAFE.

[Rams]

Your list is much better than mine.
SNIP
About as far as I have gotten.

Well actually, you are ahead of me, you've actually got quite a bit of "documentation" already done.

   Cremation ahes in the wall at the Springfield Veterans Cemetery.

Not a bad idea on the wall.

Told my wife that should she agree, the "Body Farm" here in TN is fine alternative.   Though, I doubt anyone will wish to come visit me there.  

If my wife decides to cremate me (which she will most likely do), she has threatened to have my ashes put into an hourglass placed on the fireplace so she can keep me working.

Rams

[bassman]

Couple of thoughts:

1)  https://www.sciencecare.com

2)  think long and hard about selecting an "Executor".....you are not doing anyone a favor by asking someone to do this task.  Might want to consider an outsider / 3rd party.  Hopefully everything will go smoothly when the time comes but in some, if not many, cases this event can destroy families not matter how close you may think they are now.  $$ does very strange things to people.  Using a 3rd party might hold the family together rather than turning against a relative who might be used to divy up the goods at the end.

It's good to be thinking about this ahead of "schedule" - not an easy task.

[Rams]

Couple of thoughts:

1)  https://www.sciencecare.com

2)  think long and hard about selecting an "Executor".....you are not doing anyone a favor by asking someone to do this task.  Might want to consider an outsider / 3rd party.  Hopefully everything will go smoothly when the time comes but in some, if not many, cases this event can destroy families not matter how close you may think they are now.  $$ does very strange things to people.  Using a 3rd party might hold the family together rather than turning against a relative who might be used to divy up the goods at the end.

It's good to be thinking about this ahead of "schedule" - not an easy task.

Having been the "Executor" twice and my wife's done it three times, I can assure anyone that it sucks.   You can't please everyone and I don't think it matters how close the family ties are.   Reference a third party Executor, different states have different rules about that but in KS where both my parents were, an Executor can charge up to 20% of the estate value.   While I didn't do that, I did tell one especially vocal family member that if anyone wanted to challenge my decisions, then I would charge that fee.   Didn't mean it then but, the room went silent after that.    or    You decide.

Rams

[Jess from VA]

I could type a book on this; I wrote many hundreds (possibly a thousand) of simple wills in my time a a shyster (private for a small fee, and military for free).  I never did any trusts (which is generally for more affluent people who want to control their estate after they are gone (maybe for many years).  

First, many things can be handled by designating beneficiaries on bank/credit union accounts, investments, Fidility IRAs, and others.  You can make them joint owners, but they can just go down and take the money any time they want (you would hope family wouldn't, but the business move is to use named beneficiaries and not joint ownership; and you can generally have first beneficiary to X, but if X predeceases me, then to Y).  Nothing that transfers by use of named beneficiaries goes though a will or probate.  That can cover quite a bit of your estate.

Do with your wife what you want, most married couples have reciprocal wills meaning they are essentially identical (except way down stream, she may want her mother to take, and you your mother). So 1st all to spouse, 2d to kids in equal shares, then 3d to who you want (3d is where husband and wife may differ).  

The goal of simple estate planning is to hopefully never have to open up a probate estate (in county probate court) which is a big PITA, and costs money, and you get a judge (or someone) looking over your shoulder, and you have to submit accountings.  Screw that (if at all possible)!!!

I have prepaid cremation with the American Cremation Society.  They asked what I wanted done with ashes, and I told them to flush me down the toilet.  Well, they won't do that (and were quite indignant about it), so my executor can do it.  I didn't want one, but they sent me a nice Urn for my ashes (part of the cost), which I've stashed behind the furnace. You honor people while they are alive, after they are dead, they are food for worms.

Another concept is this;  business says you must set up your affairs in a bullet proof manner, and in case you end up under a truck on your bike (sudden death).  But now, if you are lucky enough to end up with a lingering death (say weeks or months), then you can just go ahead and gift things and money to those you want to have it while you're still around.  Again, this avoids having to go through the will. (personally, I'd rather go by truck than lingering/suffering giving all my money to doctors).  Beware, if you have greedy family, they can claim you lost your mind and gave it away (and not to them) and contest it, but hopefully not.

Many people have things they want to give to specific people (sentimental, firearms, photo albums, artwork, you get the idea).  I would never take the time in any simple will to list all the "personal bequests" anybody wanted to make, so I told them to simply write or type it out, sign and date it, and keep it with the simple will.  The executor can play quarterback and hand that stuff off.  If there has to be a probate estate, at least they won't be looking over your shoulder on that stuff too.

Real estate (your home) is the big ticket item in most cases.  And most married people own it jointly (all to survivor).  Adding additional joint owners to a home is risky, even with downstream family.  A joint owner can take you to court and demand their share now.  So if you and the wife go in the same car accident, or the last of you two die, then the home may have to be probated.  But, again, if lingering death is present, you can then simply add him/her/them to ownership before you die (by a proper deed, properly filed).  And probate of the home is avoided.  Same thing can be done with vehicle titles.  With modern medicine, lingering death is more likely than ever.  

Everyone (worth anything) should have a simple will, but much can be done to avoid transfer by will, and much can be done to avoid a probate estate.

I believe there are simple will kits for sale (but make sure you get one for your domicile State, the rules can be a bit different between States).  

I've been separated from my wife for 14 years.  It was not a pleasant separation, and I have a bulletproof 14 page property settlement agreement (long paid in full).  I stayed married to her only to keep her on my federal health insurance (best there is).  But she takes most of my estate at my death because she has no one in this world, and my remaining family (2) doesn't need it.  I have a file in my office, that has every document, will, account number, that she will need, and detailed instructions.  She can't have it yet, but she knows where it is.  I wasn't going to get married again (because I'm not crazy). 

And BTW, the first thing your executor (or beneficiaries) need is a big stack of death certificates to prove you are indeed dead (of course the G charges money for them).  Everyone you deal with will insist on one before handing off your money to them.

I've had two beers typing this and am mildly under the influence (I rarely drink).  So if I have malpracticed in this post, please take pity and don't sue me.    

[John Schmidt]

I no longer have real estate so my situation might be a bit easier. My stuff is all personal possesions except for bank accounts and a small investment account. My local daughter is joint with me on the bank and has no idea what the balances are but she will be pleased. My Edward Jones account has her sister as the beneficiary...she too will be pleased. Other than that, I have the trike and a bunch of tools. I'm thinking of simply putting the trike in my nearby daughter's name (or her husband's), I'd just keep paying the insurance and tags as long as I'm still riding, and carry a letter from her allowing my use of it. My other daughter is alone and has no interest in the trike...or anything else of mine. I did have a will prior to Rita's passing, she was OK with my "stuff" going to her...I had no real estate at the time. Once she passed, my attorney told me I might as well burn the will because she was the only person involved. As for the remaining stash, my clothes could all go to some charity, the tools and bike parts I'll just let you members fight over them. 

[Rams]

I have the trike and a bunch of tools. I'm thinking of simply putting the trike in my nearby daughter's name (or her husband's), I'd just keep paying the insurance and tags as long as I'm still riding, and carry a letter from her allowing my use of it.

John,

Just in case you didn't know, I am available for adoption.     I'll make room for that trike.   

Rams

[Rams]

I could type a book on this; I wrote many hundreds (possibly a thousand) of simple wills in my time a a shyster (private for a small fee, and military for free).  I never did any trusts (which is generally for more affluent people who want to control their estate after they are gone (maybe for many years).  

First, many things can be handled by designating beneficiaries on bank/credit union accounts, investments, Fidelity IRAs, and others.  You can make them joint owners, but they can just go down and take the money any time they want (you would hope family wouldn't, but the business move is to use named beneficiaries and not joint ownership; and you can generally have first beneficiary to X, but if X predeceases me, then to Y).  Nothing that transfers by use of named beneficiaries goes though a will or probate.  That can cover quite a bit of your estate.

Do with your wife what you want, most married couples have reciprocal wills meaning they are essentially identical (except way down stream, she may want her mother to take, and you your mother). So 1st all to spouse, 2d to kids in equal shares, then 3d to who you want (3d is where husband and wife may differ).  

The goal of simple estate planning is to hopefully never have to open up a probate estate (in county probate court) which is a big PITA, and costs money, and you get a judge (or someone) looking over your shoulder, and you have to submit accountings.  Screw that (if at all possible)!!!

I have prepaid cremation with the American Cremation Society.  They asked what I wanted done with ashes, and I told them to flush me down the toilet.  Well, they won't do that (and were quite indignant about it), so my executor can do it.  I didn't want one, but they sent me a nice Urn for my ashes (part of the cost), which I've stashed behind the furnace. You honor people while they are alive, after they are dead, they are food for worms.

Another concept is this;  business says you must set up your affairs in a bullet proof manner, and in case you end up under a truck on your bike (sudden death).  But now, if you are lucky enough to end up with a lingering death (say weeks or months), then you can just go ahead and gift things and money to those you want to have it while you're still around.  Again, this avoids having to go through the will. (personally, I'd rather go by truck than lingering/suffering giving all my money to doctors).  Beware, if you have greedy family, they can claim you lost your mind and gave it away (and not to them) and contest it, but hopefully not.

Many people have things they want to give to specific people (sentimental, firearms, photo albums, artwork, you get the idea).  I would never take the time in any simple will to list all the "personal bequests" anybody wanted to make, so I told them to simply write or type it out, sign and date it, and keep it with the simple will.  The executor can play quarterback and hand that stuff off.  If there has to be a probate estate, at least they won't be looking over your shoulder on that stuff too.

Real estate (your home) is the big ticket item in most cases.  And most married people own it jointly (all to survivor).  Adding additional joint owners to a home is risky, even with downstream family.  A joint owner can take you to court and demand their share now.  So if you and the wife go in the same car accident, or the last of you two die, then the home may have to be probated.  But, again, if lingering death is present, you can then simply add him/her/them to ownership before you die (by a proper deed, properly filed).  And probate of the home is avoided.  Same thing can be done with vehicle titles.  With modern medicine, lingering death is more likely than ever.  

Everyone (worth anything) should have a simple will, but much can be done to avoid transfer by will, and much can be done to avoid a probate estate.

I believe there are simple will kits for sale (but make sure you get one for your domicile State, the rules can be a bit different between States).  

I've been separated from my wife for 14 years.  It was not a pleasant separation, and I have a bulletproof 14 page property settlement agreement (long paid in full).  I stayed married to her only to keep her on my federal health insurance (best there is).  But she takes most of my estate at my death because she has no one in this world, and my remaining family (2) doesn't need it.  I have a file in my office, that has every document, will, account number, that she will need, and detailed instructions.  She can't have it yet, but she knows where it is.  I wasn't going to get married again (because I'm not crazy). 

And BTW, the first thing your executor (or beneficiaries) need is a big stack of death certificates to prove you are indeed dead (of course the G charges money for them).  Everyone you deal with will insist on one before handing off your money to them.

I've had two beers typing this and am mildly under the influence (I rarely drink).  So if I have malpracticed in this post, please take pity and don't sue me.    

Jess, thanks for that information.  Drunk or not, I'll not sue you for malpractice. 
I'm a bit surprised so many views and so few responses but, I understand, some folks don't like to talk about their own deaths.  I know it's coming at some point in the future.   So, I believe planning for how I would like things to go is being proactive.

Rams

[Jess from VA]

The purpose of good estate planning is not only to decide what goes where, but to do it as simply as possible, avoid involving the government (court or taxes) as little as possible, and to make it as easy as possible for the guy who has to handle it all for you. 

[Oss]

Sadly in NYC the probate of a simple will is taking a year or more  I used to be able to get it done in a month or less before 2020

Nobody (staff) died in the Probate Court but a whole lot of them took early retirement after their 18 months full pay vacations ended  Heck it takes them 6 months just to cash my check    and they work like the staff in zootopia's DMV

https://www.google.com/search?q=zootopia+dmv+scene&rlz=1C1RXQR_enUS939US939&oq=zootopia+dmv&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgAEAAYgAQyBwgAEAAYgAQyBggBEEUYOTIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABDIHCAgQABiABDIHCAkQABiABNIBCDY1OTlqMGo3qAIIsAIB&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:697262dd,vid:HHKwnUa3txo,st:0

For that reason I have been examining different Trusts (family-revocable kind) as you can be the trustee and  can move property in and out

I will be putting our house into the trust and likely some assets as well because the 1st successor trustee
(one of my kids) will be able to day one get done what should be done

Do not forget to fund the trust   move the house into the trust

Family revocable trust will not shield against medicaid  You need an irrevocable trust for that and you lose control as you can not be your trustee, grantor and beneficiary

this is only nys  ymmv and is not intended as legal advise

[Rams]

The wife and I are looking seriously at the trust fund way of passing our property onto our adult children.

Rams

[JimC]

We have moved our house into a trust. A trust is NOT only for the wealthy!

With a trust, your family can decide to sell the contents of the trust immediately after the death of the both of us. NO PROBATE, it is already theirs. We also have one of our children as a signer on our checking and savings account so they can legally empty the accounts after our death. That way the only thing left to disperse will be our personal property and even that can be put into the trust.
 
Most people do not realize that your house can be tied up in the courts for a year or two after death even with a will. Also all that time if there is not a will the court will provide an executor, and they will be paid out of the estate, so they will have no reason to hurry the matter.

Without a trust (there are time restraints, usually about 5 years after completing the trust) if one remaining owner, husband or wife, ends up in a nursing home, the nursing home can get title to your home, sell it, and use the proceeds to pay the bills, the heirs have nothing to say about it unless they are in a position to pay the bills themselves.

I do not have a large estate, in act it is very modest, but our home is paid for and there is no way I want the state or a nursing home getting anything, I want it passed to my children. I have never collected anything from the state or government, so I do not want them collecting from my (our) estate after dying.

It is very a very reasonable amount of money to get a will and trust completed, it was less than $1,000 for us, I think that is cheap when you think about how much hassle it will save your heirs.  I can think of no reason for the average person not to do so. Unless of course you are never going to die.

I am not an attorney, and I did not sleep in a Holiday Inn last night, so I suggest you contact one.
Jim

[Jess from VA]

Jim that is some very good advice.

(I said I knew almost nothing about trusts)