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Author Topic: Funny... yes it is political, but funny anyway.  (Read 1438 times)
Jeff K
Member
*****
Posts: 3071


« on: February 18, 2010, 03:40:19 PM »

Sometime this year,  we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
Stimulus' payment. 

   

   This is indeed a very exciting program,  and I'll explain it by
Using a Q & A format:
   
   
   Q.  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
   
   A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
   
   
   Q..  Where will the government get this money ?
   
   A.  From taxpayers.
   
   
   Q..  So the government is giving me back my own money ?
   
   A.  Only a smidgen of it.
   
   
   Q.  What is the purpose of this payment ?
   
   A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
High-definition TV set,  thus stimulating the economy.
   
   
   Q..  But isn't that stimulating the economy of  China  ?
   
   A.  Shut up.
   
   
   Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by
Spending your stimulus check wisely:         
   
   
           
   
       *  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,  the money will
Go to  China  or  Sri Lanka  . 
   
   
       *  If you spend it on gasoline,  your money will go to the
Arabs.
   
   
       *  If you purchase a computer,  it will go to  India  ,  Taiwan  or
China .   
   
       
   
       *  If you purchase fruit and vegetables,  it will go to  Mexico  ,
Honduras  and  Guatemala . 
   
       
   
       *  If you buy an efficient  car,  it will go to  Japan  or  Korea  .

   
     
   
       *  If  you purchase useless stuff,  it will go to  Taiwan . 
   
     
   
       *  If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock,  it will go
To management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. 
   
   
   Instead,  keep the money in America by:
   
   
   1)  Spending it at yard sales,  or       
   
   2)  Going to ball games,  or     
   
   3)  Spending it on prostitutes,  or       
   
   4)  Beer or       
   
   5) Tattoos.
   
   
   (These are the only American businesses still operating in the  U.S.  )



   Conclusion: 
   
   Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard Sale and drink beer all day !

   
   No need to thank me,  I'm just glad I could be of help.
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Stanley Steamer
Member
*****
Posts: 4990


Athens, GA


« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2010, 03:54:31 PM »

I'd have to substitute a Pepsi for the beer.... Wink cooldude Cheesy Grin
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Stanley "Steamer"

"Ride Hard or Stay Home"

Challenger
Member
*****
Posts: 1287


« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2010, 04:31:20 PM »

Indra Krishnamurthy Nooyi (chairwoman of Pepsi Cola) Thanks you
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Psychotic Bovine
Member
*****
Posts: 2603


New Haven, Indianner


« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2010, 05:21:54 PM »

I vote to spend it on guns.  Still a lot of awesome firearms made in the ol' US of A.
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"I aim to misbehave."
Stanley Steamer
Member
*****
Posts: 4990


Athens, GA


« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2010, 05:34:02 PM »

Indra Krishnamurthy Nooyi (chairwoman of Pepsi Cola) Thanks you

From Lower LA??...... Cheesy
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Stanley "Steamer"

"Ride Hard or Stay Home"

Piper
Member
*****
Posts: 246


San Antonio


WWW
« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2010, 12:09:39 AM »

I vote to spend it on guns.  Still a lot of awesome firearms made in the ol' US of A.


I'd spend it on ammo for the guns that I have.
If only I could find any......
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~   /  And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune 
  0/// Then the piper will lead us to reason 
<|o>  And a new day will dawn for those who stand long 
 /_\    And the forest will echo with laughter
 | \
lee
Member
*****
Posts: 263


Northeast Tennessee


« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2010, 04:23:12 AM »

I can't remember:  Who is it that owns the horses that pull the big beer wagon now?
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Time is not what is taken but what remains.
C. Drewry
SANDMAN5
Member
*****
Posts: 2176


Mileage 65875

East TN


« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2010, 05:42:01 AM »

Quote
I can't remember:  Who is it that owns the horses that pull the big beer wagon now?

Ain't it a Belgian company?
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"Evolution" is a dying religion being kept alive with tax dollars.


Beast03
Member
*****
Posts: 59


Beast

Casper, Wyoming


« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2010, 05:46:02 AM »

Guns and Ammo sounds good to me! Grin
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