"Back in the day" while a cop in the frozen North, EVERY friggin' night during the wee hours, some knucklehead would go racing through town on his two-stroke quad with racing pipes... and would wake everyone up. I got fed up with having my sleep disturbed by this clown and decided I'd address the matter.
I contemplated a 2 x 4 with nails through it to be swung at the unsuspecting operator... then decided that my possession of a badge wouldn't be a good example if I did that. So... since the cabin had no running water, and a honeybucket was handy... naw, probably wouldn't be found humorous by the Chief. Otay, here we go.
So... I bundled up (it was -40F out that week) and bundled a pitcher of water up in a towel and headed out the door "for a walk". This little turd would do laps around town all night and you could almost set your watch between "appearances" passed the cabin. Sure enough, here he came. As he came drifting around the corner on the dirt road (covered in ice/snow), I spun around and nailed him dead center with a gallon of chilling water. He was so spooked by what'd just happened to him, he didn't even slow down (but, the laps ended for the night). I then went inside and called dispatch to advise them of what'd just happened and that I'd be available first thing in the morning for whomever had concern.
The following day, when I reported to the station for duty, guess who was there to complain to the Chief about being "assaulted" the night before. After explaining to him what I'd CONSIDERED doing about it, I suggested he be grateful that I'd used a little common sense and chosen the path I'd taken. I proceeded to explain to the young man that I'd be happy to take it further if he wanted to press the matter and asked him for his operator's license... and explained to him the ramifications of "Reckless Driving" (without a license). Afterwards, the Chief asked me to not do that again.
