Universal Law.....

UNIVERSAL LAW

> ** Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with
> grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
>
> ** Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll
> to the least accessible corner.
>
> ** Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly
> proportional to the stupidity of your act
>
> ** Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
> busy signal and someone always answers.
>
> ** Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work
> because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat
> tire.
>
> ** Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
> were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every
> time).
>
> ** Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the
> telephone rings.
>
> ** Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know
> increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be
> seen with.
>
> ** Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
> won't work, it will.
>
> *** Law of bio mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
> proportional to the reach.
>
> **** Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena - At any event, the people
> whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are
> the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer,
> or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or
> the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move
> once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end
> of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
>
> *** The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
> your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee
> is cold.
>
> *** Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker
> room, they will have adjacent lockers.
>
> *** Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly
> sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the
> newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
>
> *** Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know
> what you are talking about.
>
> *** Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're
> ugly.
>
> *** Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
>
> *** Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find
> a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
>
> *** Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to
> the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But don't make
> an appointment, and you'll stay sick.