Dads of the VRCC - chime in with your .02

[Kaiser]

The uncomfortable balance of "guess who just crashed" versus "I just had a wonderful safe ride" posts as of late has become pretty unsettling for me.  This is especially true when I realize that some of the people who have wiped out are much better riders than myself and have much more time in the saddle of a Valk than myself.

With a three-year-old and another on the way, I'm really starting to question the risks vs. rewards of riding.

I know that so many times, motorcycle accidents have nothing to do with the rider and everything to do with nature or other drivers around them.  And I've heard about how dangerous motorcycles are for years and years without ever giving it a second thought.

But when I heard about Jeff, Clint, and Gordon going down (just to name a few), it struck me in a new way.  Throw in the fact that I saw a rider go down just days after hearing about these guys...and I think it's fair to say that I am slightly rattled.

Ever since getting married and having kids, riding is about the only "me" activity I have left.  It truly is therapy to get out and catch some wind.  But, in my mind it isn't worth the potential of my kids growing up without a father.

So, those of you with kids, how did you come to the conclusion that riding is worth the risk?  I'm just looking for some additional points to consider and quite frankly...wanting somebody to talk me down off the ledge of selling a bike that I love and walking away from my favorite pastime for a long while.

Feel free to fire away with your thoughts on the matter.

[Hoser]

If you are worried about who would take care of your family if the worst should happen, get accidental death life insurance, it is cheap. and keep on riding.  Hoser

[Serk]

So, those of you with kids, how did you come to the conclusion that riding is worth the risk?

For me, I wouldn't want my daughter to be exposed to the person I would be if I didn't have my regular cycle-therapy. It might sound corny, but riding really does make me a calmer better person, and thus a better father.

Also, since I finally got mom's permission to put the kid on the back (She was 6), it's something we can do together, something we both love, and it's just me and her, for me that makes it all worth it.

Everything we do in life is a risk. People get injured and die from slipping and falling in the shower. The risks and rewards of all activities need to be weighed. Also, there are many steps one can take to mitigate the risks. Take the MSF Advanced course. Read a good book (Proficient Motorcycling, the Art of Riding Well, by David Hough I _HIGHLY_ recommend!), buy AND USE quality safety gear.

From a practical standpoint, I carry enough life insurance that if the unthinkable occurred, she'd be taken care of from a financial standpoint.

[Ice]

Hey Kaiser,

I feel your pain, when my first one was born I went through the agony of ride or dont ride and what I did in the end, I decided not to ride and sold my bike (vulkan 700) and I went stir crazy for two years, I love to ride and like you said it is theraputic (sp) but also a dangerous hobby to have. The risk you speak of is always there and if you ride it always will be. It must be your desicion wheter to ride or not, no one can make that choice for you. I can only say, I regretted selling my bike and in the end I bought another one and then another, until I came to the ValK, which I will not sell. My kids are now older and when they can push Mom off the back they will ride with me.
My oldest daughter is thinking of getting a bike of her own and I support her. yes riding is dangerous but in the grand scheme of things most fun things are and if you use your learned talent to ride and ride safe you minimize the risk. You can just as easily go to the mail box and get run over by the lady in the SUV talking or texting on the phone, trust me I know....

Nuff said, you are the one who has to decide if this is a risk with family you want to take, but if you do just remember ride to 80% of your ability and save 20% for error, wether yours or theirs.

Just my ramblings...

Yuri

[Tonysax]

  I have 3 boys 19,17 & 14. I have had the Valk for 8 years. I never gave it much thought, I used to be more careless with safety and riding style. The bike is an outlet . But as I got older and thought more of others and have heard more and more people going down I changed a few things.
  I bought a FULL faced helmet, wear Boots, leather jacket and gloves, AND got a big insurance policy on myself IF something was to happen.

It's not a cure-all, but it gives me piece of mind that I am doing the best I can.

[Duckwheat]

I went throught the same mental gymnastics you are going through. I sold a couple of bikes and limited my time on it for the same reasons you are thinking. There was also a part of it that riding is pretty selfish. I would not take 2-3 days by myself and take a trip on the bike. Frankly, I'd rather be with my kids.

It is easier now that my kids are older. I have begun to take some trips with/without the wife no problems. My youngest is 16.

I like to hunt, fish, ski, sail, etc..... My kids can do everything I do, and better at it.

I work in health care. When people die. They do lament the lack of money, job, or stuff. What they take comfort in is the relationships with people.
DW

[Willow]

Congratulations on the one on the way.

Motorcycling is inherently more dangerous than caging.  Caging at speed is inherently more dangerous than riding horseback, which is, of course, carries more risk than does walking along a footpath.  All of these activities are more likely to contribute to injury than is sitting on the couch and completing one's necessary travels over the virtual byways of the internet.

I have in my mind a picture of an extremely wealthy old man sitting in a private room eating oatmeal alone afraid to trim his fingernails lest he injure himself.

Wouldn't it be a loss were we to remove all the perceived risk from our lives and then be taken out of this world at a ripe old age having never enjoyed anything but a sedentary existence on the living room couch.

It's my belief that when the big hand points straight up it's over and we have little control over the movement of the clock.

I do think it's a responsible thing for us to weigh the worthy and the unreasonable.  I believe I've done that, but I could be wrong.

I had a moment to think when my back was on the concrete and thoughts of exit were creeping into my mind.  I must say that regret for riding was not among my emotions.  Having said that, I must confess that during the ensuing weeks I did seriously consider whether or not I would go back out into the wind.

Give yourself today to the ones you love.  You don't have tomorrows in the bank for them.

You have to decide for yourself.  Incidentally, if you do choose to sell that beautiful black and red you'll have no shortage of buyers, but you nwill live with gnawing regret for a long, long time.

Perhaps at this point in my ramble and thinking of your beautiful black and red you can hear the music rising and the near rasping voice of Rod McKuen singing, "time washes clean ..."

Long Long Time ... Rod McKuen	powered by Aeva

[AussieValk]

Interesting topic. All good responses.

I particularly agree with Tonysax. Life insurance, ride extra carefully (be visually aware), wear the safety gear, and make sure you kiss your kids before you leave. You can't live in fear. When it's your time to go, nothing will change that.

.....but that's just my opinion.  

[Bill]

Kaiser,
I can identify with your dilemma. We all want to be around and healthy enough to enjoy both our children and grandkids. And yes, we do engage in a higher risk activity than most of those who don't ride. I weighed the pros and cons carefully and decided to continue to ride while my three kids were growing up and used every opportunity to discuss defensive driving. Only one of them rides today, but all three enjoyed being on the back of my Wings and
Valks as they were growing up and still talk about some of our rides  today.

One thing you might consider is your "confidence level" while riding if your mind is preoccupied with what might happen to your loved ones. Riding needs your full attention and focus and IMHO if you find your mind preoccupied with worry about your family while in the saddle, you might want to reevaluate riding for awhile.

Good luck with your decision.
Bill

[Warlock]

The uncomfortable balance of "guess who just crashed" versus "I just had a wonderful safe ride" posts as of late has become pretty unsettling for me.  This is especially true when I realize that some of the people who have wiped out are much better riders than myself and have much more time in the saddle of a Valk than myself.

With a three-year-old and another on the way, I'm really starting to question the risks vs. rewards of riding.

I know that so many times, motorcycle accidents have nothing to do with the rider and everything to do with nature or other drivers around them.  And I've heard about how dangerous motorcycles are for years and years without ever giving it a second thought.

But when I heard about Jeff, Clint, and Gordon going down (just to name a few), it struck me in a new way.  Throw in the fact that I saw a rider go down just days after hearing about these guys...and I think it's fair to say that I am slightly rattled.

Ever since getting married and having kids, riding is about the only "me" activity I have left.  It truly is therapy to get out and catch some wind.  But, in my mind it isn't worth the potential of my kids growing up without a father.

So, those of you with kids, how did you come to the conclusion that riding is worth the risk?  I'm just looking for some additional points to consider and quite frankly...wanting somebody to talk me down off the ledge of selling a bike that I love and walking away from my favorite pastime for a long while.

Feel free to fire away with your thoughts on the matter.

I had a motorcycle when we had kids. I sold the motorcycle, but not for the reasons you stated. Times was hard and I felt like I needed more time with my little ones. Once the grew I got back into riding and enjoy it more now than I did back then. I've had one of my best friend go down while riding with him. Never thought about giving it up. Just made me more aware and not get to comfortable riding. Take your time in making your decision.
David

[Hef]

Kaiser, I think every rider who has a wife and children have dealt with this. For me, Life itself is a risk and riding is more than just fun for me, it is a true stress reliever. I am 61 and have owned and ridden a bike ever since my first which was a Montgomery Wards Riverside motorscooter. I was 8 years old at the time and we lived on a small farm and I had lots of riding places without ever getting on a public road. When I got married my wife understood my love for riding and she loved it as well. Then we had our first child and she began to worry about both of us being killed together on the bike and leaving our son without either parent so she quit riding with me. I continued to ride and after two more children and them all becoming older teenagers she felt comfortable riding with me again and we rode together up until her death to cancer in 2006. Had been healthy all her life. In 37 years of marriage, up until the cancer struck, she never took any medication, not even an aspirin. We never know when or how the end will come for us but I know we can be careful, take no risks, and still die at any time. I believe some people are so afraid of dying that they can not enjoy life.  I am more concerned that I might be badly hurt rather than killed and I really don't want to spend the rest of my life in a nursing home. My belief is that it's quality of life - not quantity of life that is important.
I consider my self to be a good experienced rider and yet I have been down twice. A deer broadsided me while I riding down a state highway at 60 mph. I don't remember much about that one but I know my helmet saved my life. The second time was due to a jerk in cage in which I had to put my wing in the ditch to avoid hitting him and it messed up my shoulder real bad. I continue to ride and enjoy it. I will stop riding when I stop enjoying it or I am taken out. My kids all grew up on bikes and being around bikes so even though none of them ride now (all have small kids) they understand that I ride and enjoy it and they have no problem with that. As for you, it's an individual choice and one only you can make. I always say riding is not for everyone and if you can't enjoy it for worrying what might happen then don't do it. Whatever you decide, best wishes to you. Hef

[Big IV]

I had another safe ride in this morning. More safe miles than bad miles.

[solo1]

I started riding a long time ago, my parents didn't like it.  The memories that I have stored are irreplaceable.  Yes, the risks were there but not in the sense that they are today.

I stopped riding while in the Service and didn't start again until I was married.  The wife said it was too dangerous.  The first time I agreed and sold the bike.  The second time I didn't and told her the bike was staying, she didn't like it.  When my sons wanted to ride, I told them that 3 years driving before they could take a motorcycle course. They agreed and still ride today.

I presently have stopped riding, no bike.  It was my choice to stop but for medical reasons not because I was afraid to take the risk.  Who knows, I might start again.

INMHO, THE RIDING EXPERIENCE WAS WORTH THE RISK!  I always have been a more conservative rider and have taken the necessary steps to reduce the risk of injury or death.  Protective clothing top to bottom, and between the ears education and awareness.  RIDE YOUR OWN RIDE!  Many were more adept at riding than I was. Although my riding experience was , for the most part, more conservative than some, I still got my 'high', my attitude adjustment, my exhileration even at my lesser approach to riding.  Ride to please yourself, not others.

IMHO, the best deterrent to getting in trouble is read David Hough's books on riding safety as mentioned here before, also long ago I read the Hurt Report, that was another eye opener for me.

The decision to ride is yours alone. My decision to ride all these years was mine.  For me it was the right one.

Wayne

[Big Rig]

Kaiser,

I have two boys, 6 and 7 now...I think about that every single day...on days that the feeling is strong, I cage. My wife is having surgery tomorrow, and that has been heavy on my mind all week. The bike sits in the garage until my wife is back on her feet and I know I am doing the right thing by riding again. My biigest fear is leaving them parentless...

After reading these posts, I may opt to up my life insurance a couple more hundred thousand. 

Good time for this post for me...made me realize I am making the right decision by NOT riding right now.

Ride safe and plan ahead...and live long and free.

Best of luck with your thoughts and thanks for helping me with mine.

[valkmc]

I have owned a bike nonstop since 1976, when my first son was born in 1980 I faced the same issue. I slowed down, starting thinking more about safety and bought two large life insurance policies.

I still ride and my oldest son (30) rides. He is about to have his first, my first grandchild and has already asked the same question.

My advice was to discuss it with his spouse and if he decided he still wanted to ride to be as safe as possible and provide for the the unthinkable (insurance).

I would not have changed my decision, riding has relieved so much stress for me over the years I know I would be a different person without it and most likely not as healthy!

[Walküre]

Warlock said it best...

Take your time in making your decision.
David

I cut way back on my riding, when I had a young daughter in the house, then ended up selling my bikes about 6 years ago. She graduated high school this year, and is now off to college. I bought my Valk in June, if that tells you MY feelings on the matter.

Basically, while she was growing up, I cut back the riding full-time, as I had been, almost every day, regardless of weather, or WHERE I was going. I ended up riding just when it was nice out, and for rides out in the country, away from traffic, and other people. I found that I enjoyed riding even more, just not as often. But I will have to say, in hindsight, it was MUCH safer, than riding every day in traffic, and I still got my riding in, enough to make it worthwhile keeping the bike. Then, when I went to working 2nd shift, with Tuesday/Wednesday's off, I wasn't riding at all, and decided that since I had just pulled the Goldwing's motor, and super-detailed it, it was the best time to sell it. My wife still had her 1200 Skirtster, so I could still get in a ride now and then, but she then sold that 2 years ago, when she had knee replacement. So, no bike at all for a couple years.

Now, since the kids are gone, I ride it pretty much full-time, again. And, my wife actually got on the back for the first time yesterday, and she likes it! Which is good - guess I won't be stripping down to a solo seat...

I also ALWAYS ride with a helmet, unless it's the two blocks to the gas station. ALWAYS!! As I've always said, I've seen guys live without an arm or leg, but NEVER without a head!

Again, take your time on your decision, so that you don't have regrets. That's worse than anything, in my opinion...

R

[sugerbear]

i sold mine when the kids were young. missed it but realized that the kids were more important.

started bowling, golf, and then fishing. bought a boat(pontoon). it helps to have a best friend to enjoy the hobbies with. i've had a lot of "me time" while out fishing, golfing, bowling, with my buddy.

kids are 28,30,31 now and i'm back to riding(7 yrs now).

with my R.A., fishing is looking better all the time though.

[Westernbiker]

Interesting topic. All good responses.

I particularly agree with Tonysax. Life insurance, ride extra carefully (be visually aware), wear the safety gear, and make sure you kiss your kids before you leave. You can't live in fear. When it's your time to go, nothing will change that.

.....but that's just my opinion.  

So what you are saying is, when it's your time to go NO amount of safty gear is going to help you. So why wear it? When it's your time, it's your time.

I also struggled with the decision weather to ride street or not. (Been on a dirt bike since I was 8 and still on one and that will never change.) As with many on here I decided I was NOT going to let the fear, thoughts or anything else keep me from doing what I truely love, riding, be it dirt or street. I do understand your delima believe me I do. But you know what, NO ONE can make that decision for you. YOU and only YOU can make it.

[John Schmidt]

My oldest daughter, now approaching her mid-50's, has stage IV breast cancer in remission at the moment. Some years back following her double mastectomy, she was lamenting her plight and wondering what the future held. My suggestion to her was "don't borrow trouble from the future, prepare for it and enjoy today."  That's also my personal approach to riding the Valk or any other bike over the last 55+ years, and judging from the posts.....most of you have done likewise with extra training, insurance, etc.  If we didn't, we would be like the mental picture of Willow's....the elderly man afraid to do anything because of the "possible" consequences.

Like the rest of you, I refuse to live like that. But if something should happen to me my wife will be well taken care of. My retirement and health insurance will continue at the same level, as will any investments left over plus all the life insurance. As for my daughter, her motto is: "I'm living with cancer, I'm not dying with it." That attitude alone has probably added years to her life.

[Oldswimr]

I just lost a good friend, he was a Coast Guard Helicopter rescue Swimmer. He had two girls, and a beautiful wife. Died in a boating accident, jumped in when the boat was moving about 10 knots. Nothing he hadn't been exposed to over the course of his career.  
When it's you're time, it doesn't matter what you're doing. Having said that, there's a lot of wisdom in not pushing the envelope.
I know that complacency plays a huge part in accidents/incidents, the more experience you have (and fewer incidents) the more complacent we become. It's difficult to avoid. Generally the safest pilot in the sky is the guy out on his first solo, with 60 hours under his belt. He's watching out for EVERYTHING..
Same with new riders. It's generally the experienced guys/gals that get whacked passing a truck that turms left into them, or creamed in an intersection. The longer you/I/We go without an incident/accident, the more complacent we can become.
Yes, new guys will go too fast into some corners and high side it, or run right off the road because they just lock up. That's usually bravado, pride, and a bad case of dumbass.
I just read an artile in Motorcyclist magazine writtne by a gentleman with 100K miles, no accidents. Good read.

[Dubsvalk]

You need to let me have your bike for the next 15 years so that you can be sure that you are not in harm's way from riding.  In 15 years they will be old enough that you can start riding again at which time I will probably be too old and feeble to ride again and I can give your bike back to you.  A simple solution for both of us!
Seriously, the choice you have is a hard one to make.  No one wants to miss their kids growing up and no one wants their family to have to go thru life without them.  I have to agree that you shouldn't let fear rule your life.  But this fear is different from a fear like a fear of heights, for example. 
Insurance is a good thing to protect your faimly's financial interests but it doesn't do anything if they loose you. 
The good thing is that, although you see posts regularly, that someone was killed or injured on a bike, it still is a lot less frquent than cage accidents.  If you haven't taken an MSF course, take one and learn the stratagies that help you ride safely and how to see and handle possible hazards to your safety.
Good luck with your decision!
Bernie

[donaldcc]

    Lots of motorcycle riding as a kid growing up in Florida starting with minibike with a purloined lawn mower engine at age 10-12.  Increasingly larger bikes including off road, Hondas 350-4 and 750-4. Never much thought about danger or risk, I was certainly invincible!!

    Then off to raise family and career . . . got off two wheelers while they grew up as I then thought a lot about dangers.  Back riding again and it is sooo great.  I am a bit of safety fanatic and try to minimize risks and be knowledgable about dangers.  I now get to spend some time with my daughter on the back and that heightens my safety consciousness.  It has led to some good times and bonding between us. 

     Be safe,  get lots of insurance (including uninsured/underinsured coverage) and enjoy time with family and friends.  If anxieties about the danger get too high, just get off bike and wash it, wax it and play around with your wrenches with it in the garage for a while.  If you decide danger and risk/reward are too high then your bike will be in good shape to sell.  If your anxiety level goes down, Valk will be in good shape to ride and look good also.

     I love the Valk, but not nearly so much as my family.  It is nice to have both.

Son and grandaughter, introducing her to the Fat Lady.



My daughter on recent ride with me.



Quick bite to eat then ready to go again . . .



It's nice to have time together even if not on bike.



Nuff said,  I need to go for a ride. 

[Jack]

I've ridden motorcycles since I was 15 except for 2 yrs when I was married to my previous wife.  After her nagging, I sold my bike.  We were divorced 2 yrs later as I took riding a young 24 y/o instead.  I think I would have been better off keeping the bike and putting up with the nagging.

[~ Timbrwolf]

...Some valid points have been made here, but it is my belief that no one can really "understand" just how dangerous this life style is....until they have that "one accident" and realize that they....just cheated death. I had mine years ago, and it got my attention and ultimately kept me out of the wind for a few years. But my outlook on life and what it meant to me, as well as a "twitchy throttle hand"...slowly drew me back in to the life of being in the wind. My accident while almost killing me, also made me rethink my riding skills and the way I percieved "dangers" on the road...both seen and unseen. A sixth sense is something I think every "experienced rider" develops over the years, until he approaches a "situation" and immeditely knows the danger it presents...and what evasive action he should take, if he needs to. Thats the difference between ....comming home and sharing your near mishap with others on a Motorcycle Forum....and being the subject of someones elses story of a bad accident he just wirnessed.



Now I dont know you, but I have observed many, many people over the years, on bikes in the wind. And there are usually tell tale signs, as to how advanced their riding skills are, and I access their "threat level" to me acordingly. And I always give wide birth to those that I sense arent sure of themselves. I dont know how long you,ve been riding, but the doubts you seem to be expressing are dangerous to both yourself and those you choose to ride with. And if hearing others on this board, describe an accident they just survived....scares you enough to expresss doubts about your future experiences in the wind, then maybe you should sell that Black and Red, for your own safety....as well as  those you choose to share the wind with.....as well as your wife and kids.

[eric in md]

what a pretty bike.. ride it smile and becareful i have been riding my son around since he was 5 yrs old i bought that interstate so the tour pack was back there so i didnt have to worry about him riding with me he is now 18 and wants his own ride ,, good luck been there..

[Robert]

First I like the idea of life insurance, second, percentages, we hear all the bad stories and very few of the good like how many have ridden for years and stopped riding not because of a accident but because of old age. How many stupid things that we do and come out ok and yet sometimes in stupid actions that we have done thousands of times before it seems they come out the worst. Whats the thing that tips the scale and says disaster? We dont know, so do you live for the maybes, or We do what we can today and then let the day pass. There have been times when I did a stupid thing and by grace I was ok. Yet I may have heard about someone else doing the very same thing and the results weren't good. I tell you sometimes the very thing that we stop is the very thing we can enjoy with others as with Solo1. I also believe in prayer and the Lord and know that my life has a purpose that He protects me and that if anything should happen then He will take care of all things including where I go. So I say like so many weight it up in your heart and see dont let anyone scare you into not riding or push you into riding.  Have peace in your decision conviction in the decision and there will be no regrets what ever the results. Dont live to regret what you didnt or did do.

[Strider]

You asked for a 2 cents and this is JUST my 2 cents since it will be you who must make the decision.  As for me, and this is strictly me, first off I have to say that I love Willow's post - as always.

As for insurance, Red has taken out extended care insurance, I have life insurance and mortgage insurance - but would have this even if I didn't ride - I just want to know that she will be taken care of if anything happens to me.  I mean, I fly 16-20 hours a month in a jet, work in an industry that is not the safest in the world and work (and eat/sleep) in Africa.  So, between insurance policies and my savings, I guess that Red will be OK if I am called home.  Shoot, even my funeral plot is already paid for - just in case.  Again, these would be in place even if I didn't ride - that is why they call it insurance.  I could be killed by a falling branch when working in the yard or slipping in the bathtub.

Ok, as for riding, and again, this is just me....I wouldn't trade it for the world - but that is just me.  Red encourages my riding and I always kiss her goodbye and tell her that I love her everytime I talk to her - of course I do as well when working in Africa.  My sister in law has had her little body broken from a bike wreck, I have had 2 close friends go down (Bird and Ranger) and seen the bike right in front of me go down twice on a group ride (once in Florida and once in Virginia) and have totaled my bike with me on it once.

When I went down in Kentucky, my first call was to my insurance agent to see what I should do - plus Red was at work.  My daughter worked for the agent, so Red knew I had gone down before I could get in touch with her during her lunch break.  After finding out that I was OK, her first question was, "Well, you are getting another bike right?"  And within a couple of months, I was back in the wind.

I want to see my grandchildren grow up to become the men I pray that they will be, but if not, such is destiny I guess.  When my time comes, it can happen walking to the mailbox, eating a bad oyster, being hit by lightning or riding the bike.  At least I am doing what I love.

I guess that is what it comes down to - how much do you love getting in the wind?  Yes, it is more dangerous than riding in a cage, which is more dangerous than walking, which is more dangerous than sitting on the sofa....ad infinitum.

As for me, I try to watch around me when riding, trust in my skills as much as possible, do everything I can to make sure the bike is in good working order and just enjoy the ride.  I don't wear all the gear I should all the time but that is a personal choice.  I have had two cages cross over the median and across my lanes when riding (once in Virginia and once here in Louisiana) but that would have happened even if I was in a cage - the only thing I could have done was just stay home.

Sorry for the long winded rant, so I guess I need to throw out my 2 cents now.  Yes, I have children and grandchildren.  I gave up riding for a few years - but not because of family (per se), but because times were hard and I was trying to pay for a life and a roof over our heads took precedent over riding.  Yes, I want to see my grandbabies grow old but I (and this is just me) wouldn't give up my enjoyment for that - it wouldn't be fair to either of us.  As I get older and longer in the tooth, I realize that I am getting closer to the end than the beginning and so I try and take every day as something new - kind of like a bucket list.  So, feeling the wind, smelling the smells, enjoying my friends and riding down a great road that was made for a bike - on a bike - becomes important to me.

Yes, I would like to see my grandchildren grow old, but I also enjoy riding a new road through a mountain in New Mexico when the opportunity presents itself.  That makes my life complete as well - as does holding the babies.

Well, take your time and decide if riding gives you the pleasure to pursue it with a family.  Congratulations on the additions as well.  As for me, and this is just me, riding, along with my family, makes me complete.  Red knows it as well and even though you will never see her riding with me anywhere, she encourages me everytime I come home, because she knows it is something I love.  I let them know as often as I can that they are loved by me.  But I also pursue a passion for riding that brings me pleasure and let's me see sights and experiences I wouldn't see otherwise.  I, for one, want to follow Dylan Thomas and "Do not go gentle into that good night".  I want to powerslide home.



Yes, there have been a rash of riders down here lately and I pray that this trend stops.  If nothing else, ride alone and ride at your speed and just keep a watchful eye out.  Yes, our lifestyle does have dangers but you just have to minimize them and put them in perspective.  The choice to continue riding each and every day is a personal one and one that each of us must make.  Many of the riders who have gone down lately were from wildlife etc., that would still be there in a cage or not and both have lived.  Whatever your decision, if you make it with your heart is the right one.  My heart tells me to enjoy life (and riding) while I still can.  I have seen things, experienced life and met some wonderful people - all of whom I call family - through riding and I wouldn't trade any of it.  

Like I said, you will not see Red riding with me often but she lives in her own fears (never having flown, taken a long bike trip, been on a ship, etc) that I respect but don't understand but she does know how I live my life and encourages it.  I just try to weigh the dangers with the enjoyment anything gives me and treat life like today is my last - but again, that is just me.  

Yes, I could go down today but I pray not and do my best to keep it from happening, but then again, the garbage can lid may fall on my neck and send me home as well since today is trash pick up day.  I fear the bike ending my days about as much as the trash can - but that is me.  PS:  When I went down in Kentucky, it was 100% my fault and could have been avoided.

[RainMaker]

I can fully understand your question and it has been answered very eloquently by many. 

I personally gave up flying single engine aircraft the day I found out my wife was pregnant with our first.  I figured motorcycling was dangerous enough and no reason to tempt fate any further.  But that was MY decision.

No one can truly make the decision for you except you.  Just remember that when you make decisions for your family's sake, you are a member of the family, too. 

RainMaker

[Tx Bohemian]

Now for the other side of the story:

My wife had a severe wreck on her bike Jan 12 2006 and our lives took a turn for the worst.

A cellphone talking 18yr old, driving her 21yr old sisters car (= minimum insurance coverage) "T" boned her almost severing her left leg 3-4" above the ankle.

3 years and 5 surgeries (one more next Monday)  and the loss of her job later she still has tremendous problems with doing the simplist tasks, like walking without pain!! (the surgery Monday is to fuse the ankle to eliminate the pain)

We took many, many trips to Houston to see a bone specialist because 2-3" of her bone was crushed so badly to where it couldn't be pieced back together, once the bones did grow long enough they wouldn't grow together (medical term is "non-union").  Talk about the most depressing place -- this Drs waiting room.

Many times driving back home I debated selling my bike cause this isn't worth it!!

But then I realized all the people in the waiting room weren't there because of a MC wreck. Probably only 5%.  and the waiting room was always full!!

Couple of guys fell off latters, one girl was a victim of an illegal immigrant drunk driver, one lady slipped down a set of concrete stairs, etc...

So with this and the encouragement of my wife to keep the bike we still ride. She is definatly more of a biker than me!  She can't go too far now but hopefully more once we get this pain in her leg fixed.

I still have it in the back of my mind that if this would've happened to me instead of her we would be in much worse shape finacially.  The talk about having insurance is good but only if you die, if you get injured to where you're physically-challenged this may be a different story.  As far our story I'm lucky to have a good job with good insurance that covered her once she lost her job.

By the way, this all happened after our three kids were adults and living on their own.

[Valkahuna]

I have been riding since 1964, and owned Motorcycles continually since 1967. Our two sons are now 34 and 29, so I (we) were faced with the same thoughts as you are pondering now. Actually you even thinking about this is half of the battle, so congratulate yourself for the responsibility you are showing. 

Obviously, the main "job" we have as parents is to provide for our families, so getting yourself properly insured and being certain that your family could live as "normal' as possible even without you is key. One thing many of us forget is that more often than not, crashing doesn't mean dying, but you could be unable to work for some time, so be sure to have some type of dissability policy as well.

I have always pledged to my family that I would do everything that I could do to keep myself safe. Obviously riding gear like Helmets, goggles, boots etc. immediately come to mind, but for me it is more about not doing something stupid. I try to limit my enthusiasm while speeding, cornering etc. to about 80% of what I think my capabilities are. Now, everytime I do something stupid, a little voice inside my head starts yelling at me.

When my boys were much younger, my wife decided that she would stop riding with me, so that one of us at least would be around to raise them. She was pretty religious about it also!

I actually did stop riding for about six months in the early '70's, but my sons were not even born yet. I lost my nerve big time, and started to evaluate the value of riding versus living. A friend and riding buddy of mine had been killed in Kentucky on a ride that I was to go on, but was prevented from attending. I guess I even blamed myself a bit for his death, thinking irrationally that had I been there, things would have been different. Like I said, it was irrational, but his passing really influenced me.

What got me to ride again was an incident that happened in Down-town Cincinnati, where a drunk drove his car up onto the sidewalk after a Reds game, and only my jumping into a doorway saved me. This got me to start thinking rationally again, and since I could not give up walking or being down-town, I figured that if my time came, it would happen, if on a motorcycle or not!

So, I've been riding since then and just try to be as careful, without being paranoid, as I can be. This includes attending MSF skilled rider courses from time to time, and listening to that little voice inside of me evertime I am about to do something unsafe or stupid.

Remember that you will not be the real "you" if you stop yourself from doing the things that give you pleasure, or a respite from all the daily pressures. Your family deserves to have their "real" father there with them, not someone that is miserable to the point of regretting having a family because life is just not fun any more.

One more aspect that has not been brought up is what to do if the children want to start riding as well. I have taken the track of NOT pushing them into it. In other words, if they wanted to learn to ride, that was OK with me, but I was not going to push this onto them. I know a family, now divorced, that had a son die on a motorcycle that Dad had bought over the wishes of Mom. Unfortunately, this Dad had really pushed hard for junior to start riding. When the worst happened, he never forgave himself, and neither did his now Ex wife.

[Jabba]

Wow... this one burning things up.

I have a 3 year old son.  I am 42.

I refuse to NOT live because I am afraid to die.

I catch some crap from other riders sometimes.  I believe that 90%+ of accidents, that would NOT be the riders fault, are still avoidable.  Stay hyper aware.  Assume people are going to kill you.  Don't lapse in your attention, and you'll be able to avoid the MASSIVE quantity of bad cagers.

I was contemplating being a MC safety instructor a few years ago.  I did a lot of research.  I learned a few interesting stats.

1. A man in the prime of his life, on a MC is 5 times LESS likely to be involved in a crash as the same guy in a cage.  Why?  I say hyper attention.  Ditch the IPOD's, cell phones and pay attention to riding.  I use the radio on the IS when I am on the super slab.  That's about it.

2. 73% of all MC accidents involve riders that...?

Are not wearing proper eye protection!  

This was VERY interesting to me.  Keep your eyes protected, and do NOT ride with compromised vision.  It'll save your life, over and over.

If you think about selling... put it up and don't touch it for a year.   stabilize the fuel, drain the carbs... cover it up.  And see how you feel.  Don't sell it and regret it.

I worry a lot more about my wife and I BOTH dying on the bike.  

JMO.

Jabba

[czuch]

I also noticed alot of genuine wisdom here.
I'm a Full Face and Gloves fanatic.
 I cant stand to see someone without gloves.  I garry a spare pair to give away.
 Eye protection, , glasses with a spare pair and a visor. Helmet, right to choose, sure. Make sure the organ donor card is filled out.
I lost a real dammm good friend to a glaring lack of helmet. Theoretically he would have walked away, had he been properly attired. 2 miles to the gas station? I sport a bucket if its running. Paranoia kept me safe for 20 years.
Jabba, youre my hero.

[matt]

My 2cents  I say ride as you never know what will take you own. Dec of 1999 2 days before Christmas I had a  brain anurisym. I had three kids at that time I now have 4 with one grand child. I did survive that alot better than dr had thought I would.  Riding is my theraphy so yup I still ride. And I also have a sister that was in a bad bike accident she was in a coma for three months and you know what she is happy I still ride

[Varmintmist]

Speaking as a guy who just wrecked....

My kids are 14, 12 and 10.
I got back on after a 20 year break because I got a "free" motorcycle from the inlaws and the gas prices were getting out of hand and they had to talk me into it.

Even with the Valk, 99% of my riding is mostly commute and take "shortcuts" home after a long day at work. Once in a while I will go of a short trip under 300mi, about once a year. Did one to a buddys in central PA, did one to Niagra because I was meeting the scouts there for camping, and did a one way run deep into WV because my truck had broken down in WV and was sitting at the shop repaired. Rode down, trucked back. I really don't have time and really, having a MC is a entirely selfish thing. That isnt bad. I don't take off fishing, my hunting is done with the family in the backyard, vacations are family, but the bike is my little mental health vacation. I can'tremember the last weekend that I had that wasn't filled with kids stuff, this weekend is, but I am on call.

I worry about it sometimes still. There is a bit of insurance and the mortgage is covered so all should be OK if I buy the farm.

One thing that I remember is when I went into the Corp, a guy who had a son that was my age asked my father "why he would let me go in, people get killed doing that". I was at my first duty station when his son took a trans am through the woods at 90+ mph. Nothing is safe except doing nothing, and I want people at my funeral to say "Boy, he looks wore out" I don't want to be a pretty corpse. At 46 there are things that I already know that I will never do. The body has been used hard at work and it doesnt react as well as it did 25 years ago.

.....................

All that said, with little kids, it might not be a bad idea to put the Stabil to her for a bit. I wouldnt sell it. Give yourself time to feel out the family. Once they hit 7YO, they can ride on the back to T-ball.

[Kaiser]

EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT input from all.

Thank you all so much for your advice.  My ears (actually, in this case - eyes) are still open, so if anyone else anything to offer - fire away.

Thanks again to all who have posted.  I just wanted you all to know that the words you have shared are seriously being taken to heart.

[Slvrvalk1]

I gave up motorcycling for 18 years while my children grew up some.  Both my wife and I had motorcycles before we had children, and we had gone on a cross country trip in 1979 on a Suzuki GS750.  I gave it up for those years not because of the danger and the fact that I had small children, but because I did not feel that it was good to leave my wife to take care of the children while I enjoyed riding.  I did other things like play golf, but she was really part of my riding, and so it was not the same.  When I reentered the sport, my son was 18 and my daughter was 11.  My wife does not ride with me as much, but the last two years we went to Inzane in Colorado and Moab, UT this year.

You need to do what you feel comfortable with.  If you feel that it is too much of a risk to ride, then you should stop.  No one can give you the right answer to your question, that has to come from you.

Dave

[Jabba]

EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT input from all.

Thank you all so much for your advice.  My ears (actually, in this case - eyes) are still open, so if anyone else anything to offer - fire away.

Thanks again to all who have posted.  I just wanted you all to know that the words you have shared are seriously being taken to heart.

Dude.  The bottom line is... if you ain't into it... get out of it.  Half way, ocassionally, once in a while is one of the most dangerous things about it.

Jabba

[Kaiser]

Dude.  The bottom line is... if you ain't into it... get out of it.  Half way, ocassionally, once in a while is one of the most dangerous things about it.

Jabba

Agreed.  No worries about me half-assing it.  I am an all or nothing kind of guy, and once I make up my mind it's 100%.

I really like the thoughts being shared about not living in fear.  I too believe that when it's your time, it's your time.  But I also agree with the thought of not pushing the envelope...which is why the thoughts about riding to 80% capacity seem like a good rule of thumb to me.  And I know ALL TO WELL the regret of letting go of toys.  I still regret letting a few of my toys slip through my fingers for whatever reason.  I also appreciate the statements regarding riding being a part of who you are, and in all seriousness it being a stress reliever and probably making you (us) a better family man as a result of getting out and riding.

I know everybody thinks their bike is the best...but I seriously don't think my Valk could be replaced.  It's in perfect condition and given it's color - if I sell it now chances are I'd have a hard time finding another one just like it later.  I know I would regret it later.  For this reason, I like what some have shared about just putting the bike up for a while while I consider my options.

As stated, I was looking for "being talked down off the ledge of selling my Valk".  I think you all have succeeded in so doing.  That is specifically why I came here to have this virtual discussion instead of going to anyone else who does not "get it".  To steal another brand's popular saying - "It's a Valk thing".  I can't have this conversation with just anyone, as I'm sure the folks of this board understand.

Thanks again to all for confirming that it's ok (and there are good, logical reasons) to continue riding while raising a family.

[alph]

i bought my first cycle about a year after my first child was born.  my wife never once nagged at me for it.  i've been riding for 14 years, tens of thousands of miles.  my personal opinion is that the older you get the more confident you get, and you take a few more chances, or forget a few things learned along the way.  the first couple of years i was like a canary in a cat house, watching everything, checking everything.  now, i'm alot more confident and i find myself pushing the throttle harder then i did when i was younger.  so, maybe my times coming.  who knows. 

the kids are 16, 14, and 10.  in a few more years they'll be moving out, and i'll have more time to ride!!

[SANDMAN5]

My wife and I both survived a pretty serious wreck in 07. Before I could even
walk straight again (walked like Fred Sanford for a while ) I was on the net
looking for another Valk. Yes, motorcycles are dangerous...so are cars, airplanes,
boats, guns etc. I'm NOT going to live my life in fear. If we only do "safe" things,
what are we teaching our kids anyway? Sure, there needs to be some kind of
"limit", for lack of a better term, but life was made to be enjoyed!!! Get out and
see the world, or at least as much of it as we can. I refuse to sit around waiting to
die because I'm afraid I'll get hurt. I'm not a daredevil by any means, but life here
on Earth is too short to waste away doing nothing. I have a far better eternal life
waiting for me, but I'm gonna enjoy this one while I can!!!
Teach your kids to have fun, but remind them that if they observe basic "safety rules"
they can have fun again tomorrow..and the next day..and the next day.........