Influences in Your Life

[Duckwheat]

I have been working the past month in remote Alaska on the Bering Sea. You have time to read and think. Thinking about the people and events that impacted my life has been a recurrent theme this trip. Here are a few of mine in no particular order.
1. Alcoholic father. Difficult to see someone who is bright, adle their brain and their relationships through the use of a substance. You can learn how to do something from a parent, or how not to do something.
2. Another tele-evangelaist just went down in flames. I have come to distrust big talkers when it comes to religion, being reborn, or whatever else they want to jam down my throat. From my experience those in the public never live up to it, and those from a personal experience are trying to hide some flaw.
3. Little league, coach not a flashy guy but a good man, a quiet man leading by example.
4. Girl at Columbine, when asked if she still believed in Jesus? Shortly before she was shot.
My thoughts on the matter, DW

[ricoman]

It's all about doing the right thing.
Don't need an audience.

[SANDMAN5]

Didn't vote. Needs a "none of the above" choice.

[hubcapsc]

you left out "when I came to Christ"... I guess I could have clicked on one of the
ones that related to my awesome parents...

-Mike

[Jess from VA]

It may sound pretty self serving (though I have rarely heard it from others), but my parents were the best parents I ever knew or met.  Well educated, humble, smart, disciplined, frugal, honest to a fault, hard working, loving and nurturing, and great teachers.  I got both the carrot and the hammer when and as needed.   I attribute everything good in my nature to them (and my own education).  

I could have done without the male pattern baldness gene from my mom's dad, and my butt was sore and red for days when I was extra bad and my mom used her penny loafer instead of her hand, but on balance, I owe them everything.  

I have told them this before, but thanks for the reminder, it's time to tell them again.  

[Duckwheat]

It may sound pretty self serving (though I have rarely heard it from others), but my parents were the best parents I ever knew or met.  Well educated, humble, smart, disciplined, frugal, honest to a fault, hard working, loving and nurturing, and great teachers.  I got both the carrot and the hammer when and as needed.   I attribute everything good in my nature to them (and my own education).  

I could have done without the male pattern baldness gene from my mom's dad, and my butt was sore and red for days when I was extra bad and my mom used her penny loafer instead of her hand, but on balance, I owe them everything.  

I have told them this before, but thanks for the reminder, it's time to tell them again.  

Nice story.

[HayHauler]

Jess, if I didn't know better, I would swear that we grew up in the same house.  I try to live my life by their example. Well, everything except the cigarettes. I never did like the smell of them, so I didn't pick up that habit.

We are just good ole country people. 

Hay
Jimmyt

[Jess from VA]

Hay, JimmyT.  Well, it's hard to be sure, but it looks like you got to keep your hair. 

My folks smoked pall mall non-filtered for years... especially in the '59 Ford going South for 8-hrs to Grandma's house with the windows up, and three kids in the back seat.  Years later, my mom's in tears.... "who knew? "  I didn't start until my late 20's and quit this May, for good.  They are still kickin at 80 and 81. 

My mom rode a Harley when I was in HS..... a 125cc Rapido made in Italy.  Later, they visited me in the dorms at EMU riding a pair of matching 360 Hondas ('71).  Guys would come down the hall asking, "who were those guys in denim carrying helmets?"  "My parents."   " Oh, bullshit!!"  True story.

[Momz]

Didn't vote either.
I made enough mistakes in my youth, to allow me to be the cranky opinionated old man I am today.

But really, my parents are my heros. They never let us know we were poor. They wanted us to make decisions for ourselves, thus chooseing our own values.

[Hef]

I used to say I grew up poor, but as I aged I realized that was not true. I merely grew up in household who didn't have a lot of money. I found that while we all love to have all the money we can get that it is definitely NOT the most important thing in life. My family grew up in a loving household with honest, hard working parents who believed in discipline and respect. I had a hard time learning that and I am surprised I could ever sit down and I think you know why. We were taught to work for what we want and never to expect a free hand out in life. The love and closeness of our family is still alive today with four of us boys still alive we still get along very well and support each other. My dear parents have been dead for quite a long time and I miss them dearly. I am glad to say I have no regrets about how I was raised and the many, many whippings I got. So to get to the questions, it was definitely my parents who had the greatest influence in my life and I truly thank god for them. I also am thankful that I realized this fact in time to be able to tell my parents just how special they were and how much I loved them.  My dad had a saying that I adopted and sincerely mean with my kids. He would say, "I wish I could be half the man my kids think I am."

[Wizzard]

I grew up on a farm with a very rich life. Not with money but with the opportunities that I had growing up. My folks taught me great discipline and I admire them to this day.
They also allowed me to buy my first bike at age 10. I got a great condition 55 chevy at age 14.  My Dad allowed me to use his tools (and I lost plenty) to experiment and work on old engines, weld, ect and with his teachings I learned to fix just about anything. Had many mishaps, broken bones ect but it was all worth it. We worked hard on the farm and had many responisbilities and daily chores to do but I gave me a great work ethic. They also took me to church and taught me about Christ.
I would not trade my childhood for anything. My parents were definatley the best in the world.

[alph]

My parents were great people and all, they provided a roof over my head, and a bed to sleep in, along with plenty of food, but honestly that was about it.  My older brothers have fond memories of trips abroad, going to Disney and many other great places, but when I was about 9, they bought a restaurant and that was it for the traveling and family life.  They weren’t in my life that often and never encouraged me in anything really.  We spent many many holidays working in that restaurant growing up.  We were closed for christmass day, unless it fell on a Friday or Saturday, then we would open up for the “bar rush” at 2 am.  Nothing like serving drunks at 2am, christmass day!! 

I did have a few teachers in high school that gave me a complements once in a while, but that was about it.  So I would have to say several high school teachers.

[John Schmidt]

We must have been brothers from different families. My folks were cut from the same mold it appears, and were devout Christian people. Dad was a big barrel chested German from the "old school" that believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child." I was not spoiled!!  Honest, hard working Iowa people that were born and raised on the farm. Both were teachers, dad a school superintendent for many years until I became a teenager, then stepped back to the classroom. Probably a good idea. He lost two wives in his lifetime; one to cancer when I was a lad of about 10, his second to a stroke about 18 years ago. All during that time, he never wavered in his Faith or devotion to either of his wives. I now am faced with similar requirements, his example is serving me well. I can only hope to be half the man he was.

[R J]

We must have been brothers from different families. My folks were cut from the same mold it appears, and were devout Christian people. Dad was a big barrel chested German from the "old school" that believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child." I was not spoiled!!  Honest, hard working Iowa people that were born and raised on the farm. Both were teachers, dad a school superintendent for many years until I became a teenager, then stepped back to the classroom. Probably a good idea. He lost two wives in his lifetime; one to cancer when I was a lad of about 10, his second to a stroke about 18 years ago. All during that time, he never wavered in his Faith or devotion to either of his wives. I now am faced with similar requirements, his example is serving me well. I can only hope to be half the man he was.

John, not being nosey, but where was your dad a principal in Iowa?    I run into one when I was a sophomore, would have been in 1947, (school year ending.)

[Wizzard]

RJ,, I was born and grew up in Mediapolis Iowa. My family and the farm is still there.

[John Schmidt]

1947...he was the Superintendent of a consolidated school district with his office in the big city of Ringsted, IA. That's in NW Iowa, not far from Esterville. The Principal was Dorothy Underwood, who was over the entire school which was K-12 all in one building.  Ringsted...population about 750 except on Monday nights when the stores stayed open until 9:00pm. There were two restaurants, Christiansens(or "sons") and Osterguards(spelling is a guess). They alternated being open on Sundays, as did the two gas stations. None of the rest of the stores were open on Sunday, imagine that happening today. Prior to that during the war he was the Super. in the metropolis of BeeBeetown, IA, in SW Iowa about 25 miles NE of Council Bluffs. BeeBeetown....draw a large "+" sign on paper and you have a city map. That was quite the place, was so small you could get drunk in town, but if you had to relieve yourself you had to leave town to do it. The bar/pool hall/gas station was on one corner and the city limits passed about 15' behind the building. About another 20' was the outhouse....outside the city limits. Even Mayberry RFD was bigger. Moving to Ringsted was like moving to New York city in comparison. When we lived in BeeBeetown I had a huge Victory Garden, raised all kinds of stuff. That's also where I learned how to stuff tire casings with whatever worked because you couldn't buy inner tubes during the war. Dad found out I had a knack for bartering when it came to the ration stamps so he and mom let me do some of the grocery shopping. The grocery store was on the corner opposite the bar/gas station/pool hall. The store was in town, the living quarters in back weren't except for one closet nearest the shop. We lived about 150 yds. down the street from the corner....just past the haunted church, we had running water and a path. I did the running!! Times were a bit tough, makes one appreciate what we have today. But the "good old days"....not so much.



He was the School Superintendent, not the Principal. The Super is in charge of the entire school district, Principal is over the individual school.

[Detn8er]

Most recently I've been influenced by a group coaching life leader or life grouping lead coacher....What ever it is I've certainly been influenced.

[Duckwheat]

1947...he was the Superintendent of a consolidated school district with his office in the big city of Ringsted, IA. That's in NW Iowa, not far from Esterville. The Principal was Dorothy Underwood, who was over the entire school which was K-12 all in one building.  Ringsted...population about 750 except on Monday nights when the stores stayed open until 9:00pm. There were two restaurants, Christiansens(or "sons") and Osterguards(spelling is a guess). They alternated being open on Sundays, as did the two gas stations. None of the rest of the stores were open on Sunday, imagine that happening today. Prior to that during the war he was the Super. in the metropolis of BeeBeetown, IA, in SW Iowa about 25 miles NE of Council Bluffs. BeeBeetown....draw a large "+" sign on paper and you have a city map. That was quite the place, was so small you could get drunk in town, but if you had to relieve yourself you had to leave town to do it. The bar/pool hall/gas station was on one corner and the city limits passed about 15' behind the building. About another 20' was the outhouse....outside the city limits. Even Mayberry RFD was bigger. Moving to Ringsted was like moving to New York city in comparison. When we lived in BeeBeetown I had a huge Victory Garden, raised all kinds of stuff. That's also where I learned how to stuff tire casings with whatever worked because you couldn't buy inner tubes during the war. Dad found out I had a knack for bartering when it came to the ration stamps so he and mom let me do some of the grocery shopping. The grocery store was on the corner opposite the bar/gas station/pool hall. The store was in town, the living quarters in back weren't except for one closet nearest the shop. We lived about 150 yds. down the street from the corner....just past the haunted church, we had running water and a path. I did the running!! Times were a bit tough, makes one appreciate what we have today. But the "good old days"....not so much.
Great Story John.


He was the School Superintendent, not the Principal. The Super is in charge of the entire school district, Principal is over the individual school.

[Printer Mike]

To me, walkin' the walk is always more impressive than talkin' the talk.

[Hoser]

My parents, Kansas farm boy went off to war in 1941, came home in 1946, spent his life raising and loving eight kids on next to nothing, mom a humble country girl, doing most of the parenting while dad was busting his a$$ to keep us fed, worked too hard, died too young, and so it goes.....    Hoser

[Robert]

Not a bad childhood, Alphs sounds similar but I saw alot around me and I have never seen anyone live a so called good life. From Preachers to the bum on the street to NY corp types. I learned that life is very individual and what you make it. I have tried many things both good and bad and never really had a reason for staying with something. Never really found that niche in life. Im not stupid and the world is open for me now just as much as when I was younger but when I met Jesus it changed me and my life. It changed my perspective and reasons and the satisfaction I get out of things. This causes me to want to be where I am and doing what I am doing and how I am doing it because there is a meaning in it. There was a place in my heart that nothing could satisfy that no job no wife no money no sex could satisfy. I have had them all and can have my own witness of them. When life has no meaning its cheap hence middle aged flings and the kid who kill. I wouldn't want someone next to me that is living the life they are living because they saw someone else and doesn't truly know and discount all the possibilities open to them. How do you know if you made the right choice if you dont know whats out there and available? If something that looks really good comes your way and you haven't tried it before what keeps you from it and doing the right thing? Maybe bad things are not as bad as they seem like you have been told. Who really knows the price you pay when things aren't right? I have seen psychologists give advice to people and then lived the most screwed up life themselves and its the same with all people. Why should I take your advice if your life is not a good example. Doctors on drugs, politicians cheating, oh so many. Jesus taught me the real price, in emotions in wrecked lives in wants unsatisfied and given me hope that He is the way the truth and the life and all life abides in Him. You can go down many paths just know that you know that the path you are taking is the correct one for you because there are no do overs in life. Our lives WILL BE poured out like water out of a bottle make sure that you are offering the sacrifice of your life for the right things and your at your best and  able to help those around you when the need arises. Make sure that the things in your life bring you the satisfaction that when the end is there you can turn and say thank you Lord for the life you gave me it was really great.

[JimL]

Duckwheat you certainly chose an interesting topic for discussion.  I did not bother to vote in the poll, because I think you would agree that it would be impossible to categorize the people that have had an effect on who we are.  I always been of the belief that in many ways we are an amalgam of the collective group of personalities that we have interacted with over our lifetimes, however as you mentioned, there are certain interactions that are more significant than others.

As many others have noted, family is a big part of defining who we are (and who we consciously choose not to be).  The first 5 years of childhood I can remember was spent living under my grandparents roof.  They were poor as church mice and as honest as the day was long.  My grandmother was a well educated woman who graduated from college in 1921 (uncharacteristic for a woman born in 1900).  My grandfather was a coal miner who was broken down early in life from the adverse working conditions of the eastern Kentucky coal mines (he started at age 13).  He was an abusive alcoholic who wasted what little money they had on liquor and depended on government "commodities" to feed the family. My grandfather and grandmother were both Roosevelt Democrats.  They went so far as to name their fraternal twins (my mother and uncle), Eleanor and Franklin.  My grandfather was somewhat of an enigma to me even at that early age, he lacked any sort of discipline and put his family under severe hardship...while at the same time he was compassionate enough that he would give a stranger the shirt off his back if he felt that he was in more need of it than himself.  To this day I never understood his core values...........

My grandfather died when I was 11 years old, however he had a significant influence on how I would lead my life.

My high school Latin teacher (I won't mention her name) also played a big role in my life.  This lady was very unorthodox, she was a well educated graduate of Duke University who was the wife of a Kentucky state senator.  She was definitely a product of the old deep south, and while a student in her classes, I don't think I ever heard her refer to a black person as anything other than "ni@@er".  Ironically, in her mind she didn't consider the word an expression of contempt, as a matter of fact her feelings were quite the contrary.  She would have been quite a political liability to her husband had he not been a Democrat!  It had always been my intent to either work in the coal mines or do automotive body work once I got out of high school.  I thought that college was not an option due to the expense and quite frankly had no desire to go.  I always did well academically in school without much effort, and after we took our aptitude tests, my scores were noticed by the faculty.  It was this Latin teacher that sat down with this kid that was raised "on the wrong side of the tracks" and explained to me the process of applying for an academic scholarship and how to apply for financial aid.  In retrospect, I owe my career to her....however I often think about how much fun I would have had restoring antique cars had I gone the auto body route!