How to enjoy a colonoscopy

[Jess from VA]

http://bing91911.multiply.com/video/item/31

[Garland]

That made me smile, and I know my wife will love it! I am supposed to get one of these exams in a couple months. My doctor has been nagging me even though I explained that I may be 51 but I have the a$s of a 40 year old.

[olddog1946]

The absolute worst thing about a colonoscopy is the pervious 24 hours..no food and most of that time spent on the can...had 3 so far, and I'm still kicking...

[PAVALKER]

The only way to enjoy it is to be put under or at least in twilight.   I agree that the day before is probably the worst part of it... drinking that god awful nasty stuff and parking on the can.   My first one I was awake for..... and it was not a pleasant experience before, during or right after (with the gas and bloating).   My second one was fine.... I was out like a light in twilight actually.... and promised myself that would be the only way to get another one.

Based only on what I have heard, one key thing to remember is... that if the Dr places both hands on your shoulders and tells you this might hurt a little bit.... RUN FAST.     

[Dubsvalk]

Best sleep I have ever had!
Dubs

[czuch]

Too simple to let it kill you. Elizabeth Montgomery, for instance. Wadda loss.
Last time I had it done the nurse was a fox. I told her it was her lucky day as I'll bet most folks arent as beautiful as me. Then I was out.
As far as the "go-lightly" that you get to swill the day before, it aint!
Just dont eat heavy afterwards. A salad for instance.
Otherwise you'll get gut lock and wish for a round-o-go-lightly.

[Ice]

Sorry, Jess That's just plain Wrong!

[ChromeDome]

All I remember is asking the nurse if I should feel sleepy? She said "Yesy" and the next thing I know there's the doctor handing 6 photos saying they are of me. I know I ain't the cutest guy in the world but I didn't see anything that resembled me in there. 

[Spirited-6]

My first one I was awake for..... and it was not a pleasant experience before, during or right after (with the gas and bloating).   My second one was fine.... I was out like a light in twilight actually.... and promised myself that would be the only way to get another one.

  Same here. The first one was a bitch. After I could not stand up-right for about six hours.I told my Dr. if he ever picked up the phone to order another one he would die with the phone in his hand.  All that aside; now days they are a snap, except for the day before.  But it`s better than Colon Cancer sneaken up on you.

[Jess from VA]

That was the funniest thing I've seen in a while, and I live for humor.

I've never had the colonoscopy (asleep, good) or sigmoidoscopy (awake, bad, ain't doing it), since I had the 12-needle strike prostate biopsy last year.  But the biopsy is not a substitute for the scope, so I should call the damn urologist and get on the freaking list.  

But I'm not doing it unless he's got the romantic music and disco ball and dancing fat nurse.    

[Dubsvalk]

A colonoscopy is a good thing.  Get them per your doctor's instructions.  Every 10 years for me.  I have done the prostate 12 prick thing twice; first time without numbing the area first.  So far no cancer found.
Dubs

[Spirited-6]

That was the funniest thing I've seen in a while, and I live for humor.

I've never had the colonoscopy (asleep, good) or sigmoidoscopy (awake, bad, ain't doing it), since I had the 12-needle strike prostate biopsy last year.  But the biopsy is not a substitute for the scope, so I should call the damn urologist and get on the freaking list.  

But I'm not doing it unless he's got the romantic music and disco ball and dancing fat nurse.    

WHOA, WHOA. Jess, you are on another "PAGE",, A "12" needle strike Prostate Biopsy !!!!! A "12" ? Man I need to kiss your feet.   When I had mine after the 3rd strike, I asked the spear guy how many more he needed. He said "one". I then told him after that "ONE" he would be following his spear out the door... I think I don`t want a another any way soon. In fact, I`ll take a COLONSCOPY.  
BTW, I`ve had FOUR COLONSCOPY`s, that`s come`s with getting older !!!

[Davemn]

I had the 12 needle prostae biopsy last year. I never felt a thing. Nothing.
As far as the colonoscopy...very easy, I went home and did a brake job on the car I felt so good. If you have been told to get a colonscopy, do it, its no biggy.

[Jess from VA]

A colonoscopy is a good thing.  Get them per your doctor's instructions.  Every 10 years for me.  I have done the prostate 12 prick thing twice; first time without numbing the area first.  So far no cancer found.Dubs

Dubs, I'm curious.... did you have two because of two successive PSA tests?  If so, how high were they.... and how far apart?  

Years ago, my PSA came back marginally high (if normal is something like 1-7.... I was 7.5).  However a repeat test was normal, so no biopsy.  

Then last year I was 7.5 again, and the repeat test was 7.8, so I got the biopsy, which was entirely negative.  

I am awaiting results of another PSA, and I am debating if I will allow another biopsy if I am only marginally high, like 7.5 to 7.8 again.  I passed blood for 40 days after the last one, and it is clear the biopsy does damage the prostate to some degree.

When my dad got Prostate cancer, his PSAs were truly elevated to 45-60, not just a point to point and a half high.  Because my dad had it, and because I smoked for 30 years, I have to be very careful..... but I am not sure it is necessary to get a follow-on biopsy 18-30 months after a completely negative test if the PSA is only marginally elevated.... meaning I think that reading is normal for me.  

When I ask my urologist about this, I think I get the answer that makes him money.    

[Jess from VA]

WHOA, WHOA. Jess, you are on another "PAGE",, A "12" needle strike Prostate Biopsy !!!!! A "12" ? Man I need to kiss your feet.  angel When I had mine after the 3rd strike, I asked the spear guy how many more he needed. He said "one". I then told him after that "ONE" he would be following his spear out the door... I think I don`t want a another any way soon. In fact, I`ll take a COLONSCOPY.  

Yeah, well to my knowledge, prostate biopsies have gone from 4 to 6 to 8 to 12 strikes.... for the simple reason that the smaller numbers were missing cancer.  The prostate is not all or no cancer, it may only have a touch of cancer at one part of the prostate, so the needle strikes need to get full coverage.

The needle strikes go up one side of the prostate and down the other, so a four-strike is two on each side.  Twelve was six on each side.  

The local is given by hand and the biopsies are taken by the machine.  After the local, which the by-hand jab was somewhat painful, the biopsy machine needle strikes were nearly painless.... is was the electronic z-z-z-ZAP noise that was disconcerting and which also can be felt.  

While the Dr has this large-banana biopsy machine up your rectum, he is watching a computer monitor because the biopsy machine is also an ultrasound, and he is steering the banana around (much like a motorcycle throttle) while watching the ultrasound on TV, trying to get an even spacing on the prostate.  It is the steering-around throttle-action of the machine that is the most disconcerting of all, at least to me.  

My doc was like 112 years old, and was not confidence inspiring, but his nurse was really on the ball.   He goes "here?" , and she goes "no, down, over, yeah there." "ZAP"  And you're laying on your side counting... "OK that was 5, crap only 5?"   Trying to lighten the moment he goes, "OK you're going to feel a little prick, and I reply "Doc, do NOT be talking about pricks OK?"  

At some point I am completely zoning out, a little Zen action, just trying to completely relax and think about other happy thoughts.  Toward the end the Doc, concerned says Mr J...., are you OK, and I reply :sshhhhhh, I'm trying to get some sleep here."  And now both the doc and nurse are laughing, "we've never heard that before."

Not something I'd wait in line to do, but really a bad root canal on a molar tooth is far worse.  What is worst of all is worrying about your options if the test comes back positive for cancer.  

[Davemn]

I would ask to have a PCA3 test done. Its a urine test. I sample is taken after you have a digital exam (prostate is stroked to expell cells). This is beginning to be a far more reliable test than the PSA. My Dr ordered the biopsy after one PSA score of 5.01. I was 54 at the time. They also consider the volocity (change) from your baseline PSA. And youre right....the waiting to hear the biopsy results was very dificult.

[Jess from VA]

OK thanks for the advice.  My examples above (PSA 1-7) were generic from memory.  I just checked and 0-4 is normal, above 4 abnormal (though 15% of prostate cancer is found in men with less than 4).  Others say, yes 4 is high-normal..... for men 70  and up.

I can tell you no doc should do a biopsy on one test of 5.1...... all the authorities say you wait at least two weeks and do a follow up test.  Sex (ejaculation) within 24 hours of testing can skew the results upward.   If the 2d test is clearly normal, then you go for retest in six months.  Now if the first test was WAY up there, then an immediate biopsy would be called for. 

Of course all medical care decisions must be tempered with the stinking plaintiff's bar which sues for malpractice at the drop of the hat, and the prohibitive costs of malpractice insurance.  So a doc may call for an immediate biopsy because of malpractice claim risks, or he may just want the money from the procedure.   

What I am thinking is I will get another 4.5-5.1 type score.  I will get a 2d test, and may request what you have mentioned (PCA3).  My doc always does the (damn brutal) digital,  followed by a slide smear of discharge for direct examination.  I will get another biopsy if I need one, but not if it is unnecessary and just being done for CYA. 

[Davemn]

What I failed to mention in my particular case was along with a PSA of 5.01, he had detected a nodule on my prostate when he did the DRE. So, thats why he insisted on the biopsy. This "nodule" was biopsied in 3 locations. All 12 samples were negative. So far so good.

[MCRIDER]

How about this one?

Billy Connolly - Colonoscopy	powered by Aeva