Electrical problems explained!maybe should be on tech board..LOL

[hotglue #43]

ELECTRICAL THEORY
Positive ground depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as “smoke”.  Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.
Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tires leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defense secrets. Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

And remember: “A gentleman does not motor about after dark.”  
Joseph Lucas “The Prince of Darkness”
1842-1903

A few Lucas quips:
The Lucas motto: “Get home before dark.”
Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
The three-position Lucas switch--DIM, FLICKER and OFF. The other three switch settings--SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start
Back in the ‘70s, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators.
This has been referred to as the smoke theory - when the smoke comes out its finished, cooked or done for.


Now you know why I'm not an electrical engineer. .....

 

[ILcruiser]

This is bringing back so many memories!  I once owned a '68 Triumph TR 250.  Great car, if you don't mind an occasional dash fire    Also, the battery died and to be completely faithful to the marque, I bought a Lucas battery.  It was dead on arrival, and wouldn't hold a charge, period.  Lucas also made windshield wipers which, I believe, were made of black Marshmallow Fluff. 

[NiteRiderF6]

Or in German, Spittzen Sparkene! That was funny!

[old2soon]

You have just made sense of a friend of mines problems in the late sixtys and early seventys. He  had a sixty something Jaguar XKE120. when it ran which was not very often-it was a fun car. Lets just say working on that-AHEM-vehicle taught me some words i didn't learn after 4-years in uncle sugars canoe club and tonkin gulf yacth club.

[Chili Pepper]

Ha ha ha ha!! At work we call it "magic smoke"...as in, "I smell magic smoke!" coz yup...when it escapes things stop working. Sounds perfectly logical to me     

Along similar lines we've been arguing for years on where the light in the fridge goes when you close the door.   

[hubcapsc]

You have just made sense of a friend of mines problems in the late sixtys and early seventys. He  had a sixty something Jaguar XKE120. when it ran which was not very often-it was a fun car. Lets just say working on that-AHEM-vehicle taught me some words i didn't learn after 4-years in uncle sugars canoe club and tonkin gulf yacth club.

My brother-in-law used to have  Jaguar...



Apparently if the smoke gets out from somewhere under the hood, it is bad for the paint job...

-Mike

[Varmintmist]

Ya missed one:

The Lucas 2 position switch, OFF and NO

Victim of a Triumph Spitfire. When it ran, and as long as you didn't ever use the electronic overdrive, it was a fun car.

The smoke is caused by Trons dying for a good cause.

[hotglue #43]

I know y'all's pain...... my 1st car was a Triumph TR3..... also had a Spitfire..... appropriate name...LOL
Rode Triumphs, BSA's and Norton's for years....guess I'm a glutton for punishment...

[hal47]

Thanks for that hot glue ,laughed till i had tears in my eyes,owned several truimps bikes and still have a xke  funny and true.

[fordmano]

LUCAS,,,, "Lord of Darkness" nuff said!!

[NiteRiderF6]

Or in German, Spittzen Sparkene! That was funny!

[RP#62]

Thats why you need this.  I think I still have some left over from when I had my GT6.
-RP