new slant on "what's up?"

[ricoman]

this tidbit in our local paper today.
What, no harmonica to entertain the cellmates?
Drugs and tobacco found inside man

Published: Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 1:00 a.m.
Last Modified: Monday, February 14, 2011 at 10:23 p.m.
SARASOTA COUNTY - A homeless man went to court and was arrested on Friday, but the notable part of the story is what he had hidden in his rectum as he stood before the judge.

The judge sent Neil Lansing to jail, where corrections deputies conducting a routine search in a cellblock found part of a condom sticking out of his rectum, the sheriff's office said.

According to sheriff's officials, the condom contained: 17 round blue pills, one cigarette, six matches, one flint, one empty syringe with an eraser over the needle, one lip balm container, one additional unused condom, a receipt from CVS pharmacy and a paper coupon.

Lansing, 33, now faces charges he possessed a drug and a tobacco product inside the Sarasota County jail.




http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20110215/ARTICLE/110219859/2066/NEWS?Title=Drugs-and-tobacco-found-inside-man

[PAVALKER]

You might have to fill us in a bit... appears there is a problem with that article...

Drugs and tobacco found inside man

Published: Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 1:00 a.m.
Last Modified: Monday, February 14, 2011 at 10:23 p.m.

SARASOTA COUNTY -

Error on line 26 position 0:    (in cleanup) Can't call method "value" on an undefined value


Error on line 26 position 0:    (in cleanup) Can't call method "value" on an undefined value

[ricoman]

try again, PV. I think I fixed it.

[PAVALKER]

Nope.... still no good.  I can't see any of the prison/jail articles for some reason.  I thought maybe they were removed and that you can see it because it is in your cache memory already.

[ricoman]

PV, I pasted the whole story-don't click the link

[bigguy]

According to sheriff's officials, the condom contained: 17 round blue pills, one cigarette, six matches, one flint, one empty syringe with an eraser over the needle, one lip balm container, one additional unused condom, a receipt from CVS pharmacy and a paper coupon.

I have trouble with a suppository.

[Jay]

So why the receipt and coupon?  In case he had to return something? 
" Oh, yeah, I had this syringe up my butt, and now it doesn't work.  I'd like to exchange it for a new one."

[Mikey]

I can almost garuntee the first words outta his mouth when they pulled that out were "I swear those aren't mine. No, I have no idea how that got there." 

[PAVALKER]

PV, I pasted the whole story-don't click the link

Oh I did read your post but the link did not work... cause I think they removed the article (most of those jail related articles).   But thanks....   

[Jess from VA]

We had a guy (E2) show up to the March AFB ER one Monday morning with a dildo lost (sideways) up his kazoo.  He claimed he had slipped and fallen in his girl friend's shower Friday, and that the insertion was an accident.  No one believed this, and in due course he was separated from svs for being light in his loafers (a condition incompatible with active military service at the time, long before 'don't ask-don't tell'). 

My boss, a Lt Col, wrote in the legal review that Airman  X  had got a dildo stuck up his kazoo on a Friday, and waited until Monday to seek medical attention..... "apparently the batteries had worn down and he had grown tired of it." 

Truth really is stranger than fiction.

[PAVALKER]

We had a guy (E2) show up to the March AFB ER one Monday morning with a dildo lost (sideways) up his kazoo.  He claimed he had slipped and fallen in his girl friend's shower Friday, and that the insertion was an accident.  No one believed this, and in due course he was separated from svs for being light in his loafers (a condition incompatible with active military service at the time, long before 'don't ask-don't tell'). 

My boss, a Lt Col, wrote in the legal review that Airman  X  had got a dildo stuck up his kazoo on a Friday, and waited until Monday to seek medical attention..... "apparently the batteries had worn down and he had grown tired of it." 

Truth really is stranger than fiction.

That reminds me of an incident I heard about where a young man had a singed mouse in his anus and had to have it removed at a hospital.  Something about an empty TP roll, mouse in the anus and someone attempting to retrieve the mouse using a match as a light and .... a little gas then minor flare up.... Poof.  I don't recall the details.... and don't even know if the story is true. 

[Jess from VA]

[/quote]That reminds me of an incident I heard about where a young man had a singed mouse in his anus and had to have it removed at a hospital.  Something about an empty TP roll, mouse in the anus and someone attempting to retrieve the mouse using a match as a light and .... a little gas then minor flare up.... Poof.  I don't recall the details.... and don't even know if the story is true. 
[/quote]

Wasn't that a gerbil (as if that's better than a mouse) ........... wait, never mind, I don't wanna know.   

[PAVALKER]

Jess.... I think you are right.... I think it was a Gerbil.  

So.... were you there or did you hear the same story?  

 

[Jess from VA]

No, I wasn't actually there.  I have a trained memory for details, but as I age, the million random details really crud up the brain.   :crazy2:LOL

Wasn't this supposed to have been Richard Gere? (Hollywoodian)

I also do research into the mundane;  http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/2008/10/richard_gere_fi.php