I hope this one hasn't been posted recently:
One lazy Sunday morning the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table
when I said to her unexpectedly, "When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately."
"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.
"I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry and I don't want
some other a$$hole using my stuff."
She looked at me intently and said:
Now wait for it,Scroll down slowly,here it comes,"What makes you think I'd marry another a$$hole?"
