prayers please and advice

[stormrider]

got a loved one we are trying to detox from years of alcohol abuse. what to expect? He's been in the hospital for 10 days now. Back on adavan today?

[Jess Tolbirt]

Prayers i will send,,the help part trying to get someone off alcohol aint going to be easy...

[Willow]

It will only work of he really wants, more like is desperate for, it to work.

What to expect?  Addicts are liars and manipulators.  It's not meant to be a slam it's just the way it is.

My best wishes for his recovery.

[MacDragon]

Prayers from Mass.  It's tough to deal with alcoholism... requires some "tough" love that the person may/will not want to accept... Hang tight.  If the person is independent enough to get around on their own... hard to stop them if the want liquor.  And they will want it.  If they are dependent on others... just say "NO".  Tough Love.
Gather people who love him/her and have a pow-wow.  Possibly with a professional.  
Good luck with it... Not easy.  

[97BLKVALK]

Quite an undertaking, I pray for you and your family.

God Bless.

Michael

[old2soon]

What willow said. They absolutely have to want to quit. Had a navy corpsman a long time ago told me-you have an awfully high blood count in your alcohol. Dried out and never looked back. Prayers up from the ozarks. Be prepared for extremely huge dissapointments while helping him out. It ain't gonna be anything even close to being easy. God bless and good luck. RIDE SAFE.

[mario]

prayer from houston

[BigAl]

Stress one thing, Is the person tired of it.

The Ego of the person is what drives them on to keep doing this behavior.

By Ego I mean they believe they can handle the behavior and it is not controlling them(IT's a LIE to themselves and they actually know it)

The old adage is I can quit anytime, but what they don't tell you all alchoholics quit everyday, puke and then go to work.

After Ego.

The next thing is to stress it's your own insanity that makes you think I can do this over and over and get a different result.

Yes insanity plays a big role in this, by very definition, insanity is repeating said behavior and expecting it to turn out different.

Once they realize that EGO and Insanity are what's driving them, they can begin to take control, take another direction.

That is what you need to pray for, but tell them that they are not alone.

AA can help, but that is only effective in 10% of cases, that is published fact.

Cognative Therapy can make a huge difference.

[RoadKill]

Every person is different,different personality,different reasons,different strength.
Because of that the people closest to him and most understanding of him (family or not) will be the most helpful.  YMMV

My experience has been that too much helpfulness will create rebellion, not end of the world but seems unnecessary to over do it (hind sight is 20/20  )   Just my take,for what it's worth. 

[donaldcc]

Back on adavan today?

ativan (lorazepam) . . .  

[rmrc51]

Prayers are on the way!!

[3fan4life]

The absolute first thing is that the person must want to quit.

No alcoholic has ever quit unless they have made a conscious decision (on their own) to give up the juice.

They will need a support system, i.e., family, friends, counseling.

If they are willing, I also would suggest that they become active in the church of their choice.

I realize that there are people on this board who take great exception to any mention of religion.

But, the truth is that for those willing to accept it, the power of God can change their lives.

It cannot be forced upon a person though, they must be willing to accept it.

I have seen people with severe addictions that had totally destroyed their lives, turn their lives around after turning to God.     

You and your family will be in our prayers.

[Crazyhorse]

Prayers from Middle Tenn.

[charligirl]

I agree with most of what has been said. I work with teens with alcohol/drug dependence/ abuse issues. Don't expect it to be an overnight change and do not be suprised if there are relapses.
Our kids never want to quit. They are forced to by family, friends and the Court system. That being said, we have seen long term continued recovery in a lot of these kids. Support is the main thing but you also have to have consequences for negative choices whether the person is an adult of a child.

I agree with Willow, addicts/users are liars. They lie to themselves and everyone around them. They have to know that they are loved but they are going to be called out. A support group of some sort is a must.

Your relative needs to know that they are loved and supported and they need to have someone they can confide in. They also need to know how their behavior has affected the people they care most about.

Just my 2 cents. I hope everything goes well for all involved.

[RTaz]

Devon and I will have you and your family in our prayers....the hard thing to remember is that it is a disease...a disease that alters the person physically and mentally ...they really have to want to clean up...some (most) never do... they will need all the help they can get...but you can't do it for them...no one in your family can do it for them...you need to understand that ...love and care for them and get yourself to a family support meeting so you will understand what the disease is and how best to help the person and the family....remember the person with the disease is not the only on affected by it...I lost my brother to the disease he was 33yrs old....we as a family didn't know how to help... it totally devastated our family...his last words to me was Bob this is the first time in ten years that I'm talking to you sober he said he was sorry and loved me...then he asked me to get him a beer and cigarette... 

we will keep you in our prayers....

[Robert]

Willow hit the nail on the head pray like you have never prayed before. The advantage of alcohol over drugs is they really get mentally wasted on drugs ,alcohol they can think straight. But there has to be something to live and change for. I know of people that have been delivered of addictions through people praying for them like the laying on of hands and whats interesting is that their whole countenance changes its like looking at someone before and after a face lift, they never touched the stuff again. They really are not the person you knew when they are on drugs or alcohol sober or not

[Ben]

Prayers from West Texas,  ....Sober 16 years... don't know any other way to say this
FIND A CHURCH !!!

[..]

The advantage of alcohol over drugs is they really get mentally wasted on drugs ,alcohol they can think straight. 

REALLY???

[fiddle mike]

Prayers from West Texas,  ....Sober 16 years... don't know any other way to say this
FIND A CHURCH !!!

Unless your church has a program similar to AA its not equipped to treat an alcoholic.  Church cannot offer the sense of community that reformed drunks need.

 If you got sober in church, then 'our hats are off to you'.

Sober 27 years.

[fiddle mike]

The advantage of alcohol over drugs is they really get mentally wasted on drugs ,alcohol they can think straight. 

REALLY???

  I'll have to run that by the little woman  and see what she says.

.

[3fan4life]

Unless your church has a program similar to AA its not equipped to treat an alcoholic.

 

You would be correct, in that alcoholics that are trying to quit need support in multiple areas. And treatment should be provided by those qualified to do so.  However, Going to Church isn't about treatment it's about support.

Church cannot offer the sense of community that reformed drunks need.

Here I would have to disagree, the love and support of the body of Christ can help people through a multitude of ordeals.  And you'd be surprised how many people there may have walked the same road.

[stormrider]

Hey all. Thanks for the words of encouragement and advice. I've been at the hospital for awhile. I wasn't going to say, but it is my dad. I'm not embarresed by it. I'm pissed at him because his dad was a corn liquer alcoholic. My dad got suckered in by his Masonic "brothers". I ain't gonna say hear how that makes me feel. And I know, it was his choice. Dang peer pressure though.

Two weeks and he's still detoxing either from the alcohol or the Adavan.

I've heard a lot about AA over the years. He said the Sunday he went to the hospital that he wanted to quit and would get involved with AA. I bet he didn't know he was gonna be here for two + weeks. And then there is re-hab so he can walk again.

We are currently weening him off the meds. What a job.

[bogator]

 Stormrider, I am sorry to hear this. I am an alcoholic in recovery been in AA since 05 it has been a rough ride -but I finaly made it in 07. now I don't even keep mouthwash with alcohol in it in the house, I got sober in AA and then joined the church, now I am a deacon and going to classes to become an elder, it's a rough road to go down , but if you want to quit, you can. I also quit smokin in 1984 after 28 years of that,stinkin stuff, if I can help you in anyway, please let me know.  GOD can cure all addictions------I know from experience------------GOD BLESS-----

[alias]

Your loved one is on fertile ground for recovery but alcoholism is a selfish lonely disease.  Its cunning, baffling & powerful. It takes total change to recover which taekes as long as it takes and that change requires being surrounded by friends and like minded exdrinkers and people of recovery. Any one can recover and often do if they have the capacity to be honest and willing to ask for help and take direction.  Your best bet is to conatct A.A. in your area and throw out a line for help to them they will surely respond kindly. Try to get your person to meetings, the sooner the better !  This stuff takes time, your family meanwhile can go to alanon or a.c.o.a. or a.a. I've ben in the meeting rooms steadily since '08. It has made a world of difference.  Prayers are up.

[stormrider]

Was at the hospital from Fri at 6 pm till this morning at 9:30 am. Dealing with halusinations, restless legs, anziety, dry mouth, etc. Well, we thought it was the Ativan. He's been off it since yesterday at 1:40. Long enough for it to be out of his system. He's been taking Cymbalta for depression. Well, it seems that he was doing okay when we came in this evening, about 12 hours since his last dose. Then about two hours later they give him his Cymbaltal. Then all these symptoms show up. Damn drugs. We are taking him off it to see what happens. I went to www.drugs.com and read the symptoms. Exactly what he is experiencing.

[Ben]

Praying in West Texas. One Question...What did Bud Wiser ever do for you??
One Fact...Jesus freely extended His hands to the executioners FOR YOU !!

[Fla. Jim]

"He said the Sunday he went to the hospital that he wanted to quit and would get involved with AA. "

If the above statment was his idea and not just to please someone.
It sounds like he is ready to start. It's a simple program. Not always easy, but simple. Just need to be willing.
Good luck He and you will be in my prayers.

                                        12 steps of AA

1.We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2.Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3.Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4.Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5.Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6.Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7.Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9.Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10.Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11.Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12.Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

[B]

Prayers from MI

Ck your PM
B

[WylieGibbs]

It will only work of he really wants, more like is desperate for, it to work.

What to expect?  Addicts are liars and manipulators.  It's not meant to be a slam it's just the way it is.

My best wishes for his recovery.

He is responsible for the addiction and getting well.  Willow has hit a lot of valid points and worth repeating. You can help, but you cant do it for them.

WG