The Italian virgin. :)

[John Schmidt]

Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was still
a virgin.

On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous.

Her mother reassured her; 'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man.

Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.'

So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed
his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says,
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'

'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother, 'all good men have hairy chests..Go
upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his
pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!'

'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man Go upstairs
and he'll take good care of you.'

So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on
his left foot he was missing three toes.

When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!'

Her Mama said, 'Stay here and stir the pasta.'

[NiteRiderF6]

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Good one John! 

[vanagon40]

The Italian pregnancy

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You gonna try again"

[John Schmidt]

I like that one as much as mine. I can identify with the Italian blood, being mostly ITy myself. Don't be fooled by the last name...I was adopted at the age of two. I later found all my biological family but for one brother. My grandfather's name straight from the "boot" was Adamo. The old coot got situated here in the States, then had his woman brought over....she was 22 yrs. younger, and kinda homely judging by the pictures I've seen. Guess that was one way of making sure nobody would be messing with her while he was gone.