Texas Declares War on the USA .
ONLY IN TEXAS !!!!!!!
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Perry, down here at Joes Crab Shack, Houston Texas , I am callin' to tell ya’ll that we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Perry," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news!
How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Perry, after a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you Perry that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Perry. "I'll have at call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Perry called again. “Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Perry?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Perry, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lord above", said Perry, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Perry rang again the next day… “President Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harold’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Perry that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Oh Lord," said Perry, "l'll have to call you back."
Sure enough, Perry called again the next day. “President Obama! I am
sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Perry, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners.."
TEXAS CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
If you are a REAL TEXAN, you won't even need to be told to pass this on.
GOD BLESS TEXAS
