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Author Topic: Religions!!!  (Read 959 times)
DarkMeister
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Posts: 644



« on: August 16, 2011, 04:22:24 AM »

Made you look, huh?  Evil

Came across some Bob Hope quotes! 

ON GOING TO HEAVEN
'I've done benefits for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.'

Others:

ON TURNING 70
'You still chase women, but only downhill'.

ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.'

ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.'

ON TURNING 100
'I don't feel old.  In fact, I don't feel anything until noon.  Then it's time for my nap.'

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER, BOXING
'I ruined my hands in the ring.  The referee kept stepping on them.'

ON NEVER WINNING AN OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover'.

ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees.'

ON PRESIDENTS
'I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.'

ON WHY HE CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER
'When I was born, the doctor said to my mother, “Congratulations, you have an eight pound ham.”

ON RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL GOLD MEDAL
'I feel very humble, but I think I have the strength of character to fight it..'

ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY POVERTY
'Four of us slept in the one bed.  When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.'

ON HIS SIX BROTHERS
'That's how I learned to dance.  Waiting for the bathroom.'

ON HIS EARLY FAILURES
'I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.'

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Bonzo
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Posts: 1219



« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2011, 06:05:53 AM »

Thank You!
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Woops, I'm sorry.
old2soon
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Posts: 23753

Willow Springs mo


« Reply #2 on: August 16, 2011, 06:40:31 AM »

He never made it to my ship when i was on it. But Bob Hope is/was my favorite comedian bar none. 2funny Those one liners you posted brought back a LOT of fond memories. cooldude He brought a little bit of home to a lot of our combat troops. I remember this line but not where it happened. Hope=A lot of these boys here think of their sargent as family-heard more than one soldier refer to the sarge as mutha. 2funny RIDE SAFE.
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Today is the tommorow you worried about yesterday. If at first you don't succeed screw it-save it for nite check.  1964  1968 U S Navy. Two cruises off Nam.
VRCCDS0240  2012 GL1800 Gold Wing Motor Trike conversion
DarkMeister
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Posts: 644



« Reply #3 on: August 16, 2011, 07:28:34 AM »

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musclehead
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Posts: 7245


inverness fl


« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2011, 10:13:41 AM »

very nice cooldude
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'in the tunnels uptown, the Rats own dream guns him down. the shots echo down them hallways in the night' - the Boss
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