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Valkyrie Riders Cruiser Club > General > General Board > Redneck Home Security System
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Author Topic: Redneck Home Security System  (Read 1072 times)
Titan
Member
*****
Posts: 819


BikeLess

Lexington, SC
« on: August 22, 2011, 05:38:09 PM »
REDNECK HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:
1. Buy a pair of size 14-16 work boots.
2. Put them on the front porch with a copy of Guns & Ammo.
3. Put some giant dog dishes next to boots & magazine.
4. Leave note on your door: "Bubba: Me & Bertha went for more ammo & beer. Back soon. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they messed the mailman up bad this morning. I don't think Killer took part; hard to tell from all the blood. I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.Be right back.~Cooter
 2funny 2funny 2funny
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HayHauler
Member
*****
Posts: 7267


Pearland, TX
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2011, 06:51:06 PM »
And I thought you were going to post this picture....  Cheesy



Hay  Cool
Jimmyt
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VRCC# 28963
Titan
Member
*****
Posts: 819


BikeLess

Lexington, SC
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2011, 08:28:45 PM »
No self respecting burglar's gonna go up those steps!!
 2funny
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John Schmidt
Member
*****
Posts: 15285


a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike

De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2011, 08:48:52 PM »
Quote from: HayHauler on August 22, 2011, 06:51:06 PM
And I thought you were going to post this picture....  Cheesy



Hay  Cool
Jimmyt
Jimmy, where'd you get a picture of my old office staff. That's about what it looked like...until 4:55pm. I always used to tell them I definitely believed in reincarnation because at 4:55 all the dead people got up and went home. Really ticked them off one day when I made arrangements for a test of the fire alarm system. They all had to leave their stuff and head for the parking lot....made them stay for nearly 15 minutes....at 4:50pm.
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FloridaValkRyder
Member
*****
Posts: 1677


If your offended , you need a history lesson!!

Apopka, Florida
« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2011, 09:30:07 PM »
Priceless!!  Grin
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I still miss her.
bscrive
Member
*****
Posts: 2539


Out with the old...in with the wooohoooo!!!!

Ottawa, Ontario
« Reply #5 on: August 23, 2011, 05:50:15 AM »
Quote from: Titan on August 22, 2011, 08:28:45 PM
No self respecting burglar's gonna go up those steps!!
 2funny


That's because they may trip on a dog and hurt themselves. 2funny
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If global warming is happening...why is it so cold up here?
ChromeDome
Member
*****
Posts: 2175


Aurora, IL.

60 miles West of Chicago!
« Reply #6 on: August 23, 2011, 08:42:18 AM »
 cooldude cooldude cooldude
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czuch
Member
*****
Posts: 4140


vail az
« Reply #7 on: August 23, 2011, 09:19:46 AM »
If a burgalar trips on one of your dogs, like that, they'll sue you to the pouint you eat what the dogs leave.
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Aot of guys with burn marks,gnarly scars and funny twitches ask why I spend so much on safety gear
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