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« on: May 05, 2009, 04:22:45 AM » |
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"This manages to offend almost everyone:
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recentterrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy."
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MP
Member
Posts: 5532
1997 Std Valkyrie and 2001 red/blk I/S w/sidecar
North Dakota
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« Reply #1 on: May 05, 2009, 05:02:51 AM » |
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LOL  |
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 "Ridin' with Cycho" |
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JimL
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« Reply #2 on: May 05, 2009, 05:53:51 AM » |
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Thanks for sharing...that got my day off to a GREAT start!
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SgtBunny
Member
Posts: 427
"Don't be a Lemming!" - MCC
Kingwood, WV
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« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2009, 07:09:11 AM » |
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I almost peed my pants when I read that.
Working with the nations of NATO you see that much of that is true.
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VRCC #29625 '98 Tourer  |
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BOOMR
Member
Posts: 70
VRCC #870
Toronto, On
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« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2009, 07:16:40 AM » |
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Britman, you just crack me up...  Unfortunately, most people just have no idea how TRUE this really rings  |
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I'd like to help you, But I Just Can't Fix Stupid
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Doc Moose
Member
Posts: 748
VRCC#506 - VRCCDS#0002 - BOTS
W. Indyanner / Central Florida
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« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2009, 04:07:25 PM » |
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Just Excellent! (Rumor has it that the USA, not to be outdone, will introduce new colors for it's threat levels that are more in line with Rainbow Coalition deco guidelines, provided the Federal gov't will provide additional funding to ACORN for more research on new colors.)  |
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 Retired OF - Everyday is Saturday! GW/Roadsmith Trike |
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RP#62
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« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2009, 06:40:43 PM » |
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A good friend of mine - a scottish engineer used to have a plaque on his wall that read,
Heaven is where the police are British,
the chefs Italian,
the mechanics German,
the lovers French,
and it's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is where the police are German,
the chefs are British,
the mechanics French,
the lovers Swiss,
and it is all organized by the Italians
-RP
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