Jabba
Member
Posts: 3563
VRCCDS0197
Greenwood Indiana
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« Reply #80 on: November 29, 2011, 04:33:02 AM » |
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I don't say anything to people that choose to wear a hat at a restaurant. But I consider it rude. It reflects more poorly on their parents, in MY opinion, than on them. If they were not taught better... how can one blame THEM?
Yes there are exceptions. Religious ones, and women wearing hats. Double standard you say? Sure it is. Men can go shirtless, and women can not. Unfair I say... but the world as we know it.
The only time I enforce the rule is at MY house. I am teaching my son to wear a shirt, and take off the hat. It's my job to raise him as I believe the world should behave. That's what we do. From politics, to religion, to respect for others and social protocol.
Jabba
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Thulsa Doom
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« Reply #81 on: November 29, 2011, 06:45:53 AM » |
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It is perfectly acceptable for women to wear hats indoors. That's why little girls wear Easter bonnets and women wear large brimmed hats to weddings and black hats/veils to funerals. Men remove their hats indoors. It's just always been that way. Want proof? Even the backs of church pews have hooks or those spring loaded clamps for which a man to hang his hat while he's at the service. Coat racks are manufactured with smaller hooks up top to hold hats for a reason. You don't see coat racks outside do you.
I suspect it's widely known that this is just how things are, percieved value or not. It's not news. It would be impolite to make a stand and refuse to remove your hat or to go outside to finish your cell phone conversation if asked just as it would also be impolite to get on a high horse and make a scene if someone refused. If someone did refuse I expect most people would consider it a lesson learned. They would finish their meal and simply choose not to welcome that person the next time. We are a community and we have to live peacefully together.
I'd like to think that in a respectful relationship, if someone simply does not know any better, they will accept the advice and learn from it. However there are people I know in my private life who are too insecure to ever be 'wrong' and will defend their 'wrongness' tooth and nail rather than simply admit they didn't know and learn from it. This isn't love/hate stuff and they have other positive qualities so I choose to overlook some things to maintain harmony.
In the end we're not judged by our intentions but by our actions. If someone chews with their mouth open, eats with their hands, puts their elbows on the table or eats while wearing a hat I can still be friendly to them but I will definitely raise an eyebrow if they know to do better but conciously choose not to.
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... and as I shifted into second I couldn't remember a thing she said.
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Jess from VA
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« Reply #82 on: November 29, 2011, 06:59:11 AM » |
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Was a time no woman would go to Church (or any formal function) without a hat, but if she is wearing a ballcap, all bets are off. Remember, it was Jackie O who started NOT wearing a hat under those circumstances in the early '60s. A little later the no-bra thing came along. Some looked pretty good this way, others not so much.  |
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Serk
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« Reply #83 on: November 29, 2011, 07:03:11 AM » |
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Just for the record, if any of us are ever dining together, and I have my hat on, I'm not wearing it to disrespect you, I'm not wearing it to be rude, or to embarrass myself or my parent's for the way they raised me. Wearing it doesn't mean I don't have respect for the establishment, or respect for the people/person who prepared the food, or for the food itself. I'm not wearing it to insult you or your upbringing or for any other reason beyond the fact that I am far more comfortable while wearing a hat than when not wearing a hat. That's it, nothing more, nothing less.  |
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away...  IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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Rocketman
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« Reply #84 on: November 29, 2011, 07:40:34 AM » |
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I think that RJ is to be respected for his service to this country but any service person knows that the President is the Commander and Chief and does not deserve to be called a half breed by anyone. You may not respect the person but do not disrespect the rank. What RJ has done in the past may deserve respect but that does not give him carte blanche to disrespect whomever he choses.
Concur. I respect anyone's honorable military service. That doesn't mean I can't disagree with anything that person says. I think it was an unnecessary and ignorant comment. |
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The Anvil
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« Reply #85 on: November 29, 2011, 07:49:57 AM » |
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The phone thing I totally get but if you have a problem with my hat then that's tough s**t because unless I'm hot I'm wearing it. It's 2011.
This was your reply in another thread regarding men and earings, just say'in this 2011.
"I take mine out at work too. We're not supposed to wear them per policy"
Funny thing about the phones. One day I was at work and was standing at a urinal taking a whiz when a dude comes walking in and sidles up the the urinal next to me and starts talking.
Him: "Hey what's up."
Me: (looking around to see who he's talking to and seeing noone else) "Uh..."
Him: "It's three now, where do you want to meet?"
Me: (now getting kinda weirded out) "Do uh, do we know each other?"
That's when he turned to look at me and said; "What?" That's about the time I saw the bluetooth thing in his ear.
Me: "Oh nevermind dude I didn't realize you were on the phone, that was getting weird."
We actually had a good laugh about it and I could hear him telling the person on the other end about it. Good times.
I take it you've never needed a ride to the cape? Don't judge me! |
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Boxer rebellion, the Holy Child. They all pay their rent.
But none together can testify to the rhythm of a road well bent.
Saddles and zip codes, passports and gates, the Jones' keep.
In August the water is trickling, in April it's furious deep.
1997 Valk Standard, Red and White.
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DarkMeister
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« Reply #87 on: November 29, 2011, 08:40:03 AM » |
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"...as to see the guy sitting accross from you...WHILE YOU ARE STILL EATING...stuffing a napkin DEEP into his nose...remove it...and inspect for "foreign matter"...is just plain rude and disgusting...not to mention gross" That is gross! Spew..!  Why would he use a napkin, of all things? Both custom and practicality dictate that the best procedure is one utilizing the bare digit. Depending on the perceived dryness of nasal cavities, one can even surreptitiously dampen the finger to the required degree of moistness. Try THAT with a napkin! In addition, and with a view to group-setting decorum such as meals, one is left with several other fingers in the vicinity of the one used for picking. Thus, if the picker fears detection by those seated nearby, he/she can use the other fingers to scratch lightly at the nose or cheek and divert attention from the active finger. Practice makes perfect! |
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« Last Edit: November 29, 2011, 01:37:14 PM by DarkMeister »
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Full_Throttle
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« Reply #88 on: November 29, 2011, 01:00:04 PM » |
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I guess I need someone to explain to me WHY it is disrespectful.
"it always has been this way" is NOT an acceptable answer.
What is it about wearing a hat in the presence of a woman means you are being disrespectful?
Why isn't it being disrespectful if you AREN'T wearing a hat at the table?
I understand that many in our society consider it disrespectful, I just want to know why.
I understand the loud cell phone, it is disruptive.....
Why isn't wearing a scarf disrespectful?
Who made these rules and why....
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The Anvil
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« Reply #89 on: November 29, 2011, 01:02:23 PM » |
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I guess I need someone to explain to me WHY it is disrespectful.
"it always has been this way" is NOT an acceptable answer.
What is it about wearing a hat in the presence of a woman means you are being disrespectful?
Why isn't it being disrespectful if you AREN'T wearing a hat at the table?
I understand that many in our society consider it disrespectful, I just want to know why.
I understand the loud cell phone, it is disruptive.....
Why isn't wearing a scarf disrespectful?
Who made these rules and why....
Because it's always been that way. |
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Boxer rebellion, the Holy Child. They all pay their rent.
But none together can testify to the rhythm of a road well bent.
Saddles and zip codes, passports and gates, the Jones' keep.
In August the water is trickling, in April it's furious deep.
1997 Valk Standard, Red and White.
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Thulsa Doom
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« Reply #90 on: November 29, 2011, 01:33:13 PM » |
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Why? That's easy. Because I said so. At least that's the way it was explained by my father.  |
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... and as I shifted into second I couldn't remember a thing she said.
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DarkMeister
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« Reply #91 on: November 29, 2011, 01:36:00 PM » |
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Hats off to you guys for keeping the discourse civil, yet interesting!  Come to think of it - looked up the meaning of that old expression and one translation I found is: "The idiomatic expression "hats off to" means that you are expressing your admiration, praise, or respect to the person. It evolved from the action of actually taking off one's hat as a sign of respect for a person."
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Daniel Meyer
Member
Posts: 5493
Author. Adventurer. Electrician.
The State of confusion.
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« Reply #92 on: November 29, 2011, 01:37:38 PM » |
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"You tip your hat to this lady son..."
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CUAgain, Daniel Meyer  |
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R J
Member
Posts: 13380
DS-0009 ...... # 173
Des Moines, IA
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« Reply #93 on: November 29, 2011, 02:59:20 PM » |
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Well said Tim-Bob.
I know when I was an LEO I had to watch my language after 5 years in the USMC.
Only got reprimanded once that I can remember. One of my Louie's was a 20 year Marine vet., and he reamed it good and proper. Thanks Lt. Jordan.
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44 Harley ServiCar   |
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fudgie
Member
Posts: 10660
Better to be judged by 12, then carried by 6.
Huntington Indiana
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« Reply #94 on: November 29, 2011, 04:01:59 PM » |
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Men can go shirtless, and women can not. Unfair I say... but the world as we know it.
Women may...and are highly encouraged...to be shirtless at my place. Or anywhere I am at. |
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 Now you're in the world of the wolves... And we welcome all you sheep... VRCC-#7196 VRCCDS-#0175 DTR PGR |
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Dragonryder2
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« Reply #95 on: December 01, 2011, 07:55:57 AM » |
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The phone thing really bothers me too.
The hat thing is a sign of respect for the lady of the house. It shows her you are grateful for her hard work in cooking your meal or keeping your house, ow whatever.
Serk, I'm surprised your momma didn't teach you that. Your the right age to have learned that.
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Farther
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« Reply #96 on: December 01, 2011, 08:48:58 AM » |
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The hat thing is a sign of respect for the lady of the house. It shows her you are grateful for her hard work in cooking your meal or keeping your house, ow whatever. Serk, I'm surprised your momma didn't teach you that. Your the right age to have learned that.
That's about one of the dumbest, not to mention male chauvinistic, statements I have heard of in my life. My mother had more important things to do than take offense at hat wearing indoors and she taught her children to cook and be independent thinkers rather than spend time on some imagined show of lack of respect. |
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Thanks,
~Farther
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MacDragon
Member
Posts: 1970
My first Valk VRCC# 32095
Middleton, Mass.
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« Reply #97 on: December 01, 2011, 12:43:54 PM » |
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This topic has been beat to death...
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 Ride fast and take chances... uh, I mean... ride safe folks. Patriot Guard Riders |
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The Anvil
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« Reply #98 on: December 01, 2011, 01:31:58 PM » |
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The hat thing is a sign of respect for the lady of the house. It shows her you are grateful for her hard work in cooking your meal or keeping your house, ow whatever. Serk, I'm surprised your momma didn't teach you that. Your the right age to have learned that.
That's about one of the dumbest, not to mention male chauvinistic, statements I have heard of in my life. My mother had more important things to do than take offense at hat wearing indoors and she taught her children to cook and be independent thinkers rather than spend time on some imagined show of lack of respect. It's also a bit of a shot at Serk's mom. As though she were negligent in raising her child properly. But your 100% right. My own mother was too busy working two jobs to support us to give a f**k flying at mach 1 plus about hats indoors. Yeah, she never taught me to take my hat off indoors. |
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Boxer rebellion, the Holy Child. They all pay their rent.
But none together can testify to the rhythm of a road well bent.
Saddles and zip codes, passports and gates, the Jones' keep.
In August the water is trickling, in April it's furious deep.
1997 Valk Standard, Red and White.
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Serk
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« Reply #99 on: December 01, 2011, 03:05:36 PM » |
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I was hoping this thread might finally fade away, but now that my mom's been brought into it, I feel I need to reply...
I took no offense from Dragonryder2's comment at all.
My mom raised me right. My dad had a little to do with it too. As i said earlier, I generally "do the right thing." I help people where I can. I go out of my way to at least not harm people. I can eat a proper meal with politeness and etiquette, knowing when to use a napkin instead of my sleeve, etc.
Maybe she wasn't raised that way, although my grandma (Who is 97 is still around, luckily) is pretty old school, but she's also VERY no-nonsense, and she might have just figured fussing about someone's headgear wasn't something worth fussing over.
Maybe it's regional. (My mom's family is multi generational native Texans, mostly east and north Texas.)
I'm aware of the custom, just as I'm aware that in many Asian cultures it is rude to not remove your shoes when entering a house. That doesn't mean I necessarily follow that cultural norm. I tend to not take my shoes off when going to eat at Pei Wei, for instance.
Anyway, sorry again for posting again in this thread, but when I saw my mom being brought into it, figured I needed to say something...
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Never ask a geek 'Why?',just nod your head and slowly back away... IBA# 22107 VRCC# 7976 VRCCDS# 226 1998 Valkyrie Standard 2008 Gold Wing Taxation is theft. μολὼν λαβέ |
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