new kid in town...

[mario]

Dear Diary, I just moved to Houston! Really heating up. Got to 100
today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an
air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into
a sun worshiper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus
and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get
used to this kind of heat? At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the community pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my
body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this
morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died
and swollen up
to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon. The car
now smells like Kibbles and Sh__s. I learned my lesson though. No more
pets in this heat. Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's
hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC repairman
charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house
and I can't even go inside. Lomita is the lucky one. Why did I ever come
here?

Aug. 4th:
Its 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid City.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to
strangle him. D__n heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on
the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. My skin melted to the
seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and
a__ . . . Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried a__, and baked cat.

Aug 10th:
The weather report might as well be a d__n recording. Hot and sunny.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do s*** for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn City? Water rationing will be next, so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't live in this d__n heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus’ are dead.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car. The
installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough for you
today?" My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Houston .
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??

Will write later to let you know how the trial goes…

 

 

[KY,Dave (AKA Misunderstood)]

 

[BonS]

  And too true! I've lived there. 

A friend had a black Ford without air conditioning. We sat on towels and couldn't touch the steering wheel without one. Burned the inside of my arm once by touching the window sill.

[FloridaValkRyder]

That is just funny!!!  Kind of like here in Orlando. 

[art]

Tried to get a tan here in Or.all I got was rusty

[Stormrider65]

Mario, that was great.   BTW, did you also do the Snowshoveler too?? I had to save that one. 

Walt

[sheets]

I understand. I was there three times in four years. Once in early September, twice in July. And I'm from NorCal; office on the coast, home inland with coastal climate influence. Something to be said about humidity. Yeowza! I did enjoy the Galveston coast.