Re. my daughter's passing. (Final Post)

[John Schmidt]

This past Tuesday morning we celebrated the life of Todd LeAnne Straub(ne Schmidt). Some time back, Kevin her husband, and she drove out to this small country cemetery south of Greenville, Illinois. It's across the road from a small Baptist church, beautiful location. She was struck by it and felt that was where she wanted to be laid to rest. It has four plots left to Kevin by his parents, his grandparents are buried there as well.

During the ceremony graveside, I could look around and see and hear Pheasants and Quail calling. Other than that it was silent, no wonder she loved it. Across the way was a fresh grown field of something I couldn't identify, but was about two foot tall and waving in the breeze. I likened it to my sweet gal waving goodbye. I concentrated on that field for some time, it was the only way I could keep my composure.

She had asked an old college buddy, Mark, to officiate and he did a beautiful job. He's the same person that conducted my Tracy's funeral six years ago next month. At one point he opened the "floor" to anyone that wanted to relate some stories about Todd, hearing some of those "tales" was the first time I had laughed in many days. Two of her old college profs were there from when she was in their classes over 30 yrs. ago. It was good to see them again and hear their impressions of her. For one, she and her sisters all have beautiful singing voices and that struck a chord with the music director. A number of her old classmates were there as well, meaning I got plenty of hugs since I knew them all and they still all called me "dad."

After that portion of the service, there was some prayer followed by singing...something she loved to do. Then dismissal and we all gathered at the local church in town for a luncheon.

That evening everyone went to a local mom & pop restaurant in downtown Vandalia, Illinois and had a great time together. I looked around at all the kids, grandkids, and greatgrandkids. I counted 25 people/kids and that wasn't all of them. I chatted with my former wife about it, told her that if we hadn't met in Denver, CO in 1957...this room would be empty.

Yesterday, I took Rita to the gravesite of my other daughter since she wasn't able to go with me before. She has a beautiful headstone designed by her children. A final note just to show you the class and caliber of my wife Rita. At the graveside service, my former wife(over 24 yrs. ago) was quite broken up and Rita went to her and embraced her for a good five minutes or more, both in tears over the loss of someone they both loved dearly.

The funeral service in Lutcher, Louisiana was last Friday and according to my daughters that attended, the viewing went on for a solid three hours. They told me the line went out into the parking lot, cars lined up in the street for blocks. That's quite a testament to a person that was a teacher, a friend, a confidant to all right to the end. I held her hand as she took her last breath at 12:40am, April 4, 2012.

Thanks for letting me unload one last time, it has been a long battle. Let it be understood....as a father I couldn't have handled this on my own strength. And I know full well that I'm not the only member that has experienced heartbreak and trials; thinking of my good friend Tom's(Musclehead) wife, Daniel's mother-in-law, just to name a couple currently. There are many others that have gone through much of the same, and I think it's a tribute to this organization that we as a group feel strongly for other members and the trials they are facing.

Now, life goes on. Tomorrow I'll be covering well over 200 miles to meet, greet, and eat with some fellow Valkyrie folks here in Florida....I need the break. Great bunch of people to have as friends.

[Serk]

John, I hope that some day our paths cross and I'm able to shake your hand, and buy you a beverage of your choice. The legacy you've already left is a testament to the life you've lead. Not sure what else I can say in the typed word, but I admire your strength through this... Thanks for inviting us in and letting us be a small part of your journey...

[Westernbiker]

Unload as much and as many times as you need, WE WILL LISTEN!
I send prayers and blessings your way for you and your family.
Peace to you all!

[Daniel Meyer]

We'll be thinking of you.

[Pat S.]

Thank you for sharing your story John.

[B]

Thoughts & Prayers for you and your family, John

[motomama]

Thinking of you John, and praying for you and your family!  Blessings to you all!

[KY,Dave (AKA Misunderstood)]

Thank you for sharing this John. Thoughts continue with you and your family. Dave

[larswlvs]

Damn Gnats!!
I hope I never have to bury any of my kids.
John my prayers for  you, your  wife an your ex.

[f6gal]

It feels kind of surreal to move on after a close one's death.  
Just doen't feel like the world should keep going, as if nothing happened.
Alas, it does.  

With the wind in your face, think of the happy times as you ride this weekend.

[R J]

Hey John, you feel the need to unload again and share things of the family, let it happen, we are family and are here to listen and give you faith and support.

Cheers Bro.

[Hedgehog]

God Bless you and we are with you.
 
HH

[old2soon]

John-may the peace and understanding of our Lord and Saviour follow you and yours always.

[3fan4life]

I can't begin to imagine the pain that you are suffering.

I admire and applaud your strength.

You and your family are in our prayers.

The VRCC is indeed a family, feel free to "Lean" on us anytime.

[RainMaker]

Your words are incredibly moving and there is both sensitivity and strength in them.   Prayers continue for you and the family as they grieve and fondly remember your precious daughters.

[musclehead]

I can't tell you how sorry we are, John you and Rita are in our prayers.

[Doc809]

Hey John,  Having been where you are now I can say I understand and I care.  If you ever just want to talk, scream, cry, or any of the above know that I will help any way I can.  My thoughts are with you. Larry

[Red Diamond]

Your Wife's a Class Act John, and I am sure she wouldn't accept anything other than that from you or anyone else, class act people tend to attract each other. May God be with You and your Family.

[Gear Jammer]

God be with you, til you both meet again

[czuch]

So touching.
 Sir, I hope we meet one day. NEVER worry about unloading to folks who care.
In all your posts and through all youve gone through I see the VRCC is indeed family.
Its funny, political posts and all the haranuinging and general disagreement, when it comes to it,
were here, we care.

[Willow]

Thank you for sharing with us, John.  Please do feel free to not make that your last post on the subject.  It's entirely your call.

Your daughter's memorial services are a testament to her life and to the upbringing you provided.  You're a good man, John, and your work has borne good fruit.

May God richly bless you and yours.

[solo1]

John, I'm so glad that we shared a Scotch and conversation at Bellaire.  Your post is a testament to you, your kids, your former wife, and Rita.

Although I have lost my wife and four sisters, I have never lost a son or daughter.  Losing two very talented daughters must be hard.

Some time in the future, john, I hope that we might have another quiet conversation, sitting on a balcony, watching the sun go down.

Thank you for sharing.  May God be with you and yours through yet another difficult time.

wayne

[wiggydotcom]

I echo what others have so elequently said. I haven't had the pleasure meeting you yet, but I admire your courage, strength and faith in these difficult times. And it certainly doesn't have to be the last post. You can lean on us anytime. We'd be honored. God Bless.

[Karen]

Thank you for sharing; I'll never tire of hearing/reading of your family, friends, rides, thoughts. Enjoy your break, hope to see you again one of these days.

[highcountry]

My thoughts go out to you and your daughter's family.  My she R.I.P.

[FryeVRCCDS0067]

John, I don't think we've met but I feel like we have. I lost a son 32 years ago this coming August. I will never forget or get over the feeling of leaving the hospital without him. I can't imagine the pain of going through it twice. My prayers go out to you and your family. Find comfort in your loved ones and the wind.

[ValkFlyer]

John,
I don't know you but what you've shared yet strikes a cord and I can't help but struggle with my emotions.  I hope that you can call upon pleasant memories as you look back over those that you loved and that meant so much to you, I wish you strength and healing.

Bob

[MacDragon]

John, Your story of all the people who love her is a testiment to her upbringing... You've done a great job and it shows.  She lives on in all your hearts and ours too.  Take your break now and celibrate her life...

[Paxton]

J

John;
I am happy that you shared your predicament with us...

As they say; "Parents are not supposed to bury their Children."  It is too painful! 

HERE IS an old poem...

THE DASH
(By Linda Ellis)

I read of a man who stood to speak
at his daughter's funeral.

He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth;
then spoke of the second date with tears.

But he said what mattered most of all …
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own...
the bikes, the cars, the house, the cash …

What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real;

And always try to understand
the way other people feel;

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more;

And love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before…..

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile;

Remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while…

So, when your eulogy is being read
with your life's actions to rehash:

Would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent your dash?


           

[John Schmidt]

I had read that before, totally forgot about it. Thanks for bringing it up again. Judging by the response at both funerals, it would appear they both made the "dash" worthwhile. If nothing else, it makes those of us left behind feel better about our efforts to guide them in their early years. The real heartbreak was watching the reaction of my last daughter's two grandchildren. They're much too young to understand except they know that the grandma they adored is now gone forever. To see the anguish on one little guy's face was almost too much to bear.

[John Schmidt]

I just noticed your avatar of the little guy sticking something in the wall receptacle. That brings back some memories of the daughter just lost. When I was stationed at Pease AFB in Portsmouth, NH in the 50's, my wife was working at a local grade school and I had come to get her at the end of the day. While waiting on her, our Todd, just big enough to walk but not talk, decided to go exploring with the car keys. All of a sudden the lights went out and I heard first a baby screech, then heard her scolding. I ran into the hall and there she was, squatted down in front of a receptacle with the car keys stuck in it, scolding the dickens out of it....actually jabbering at it since she wasn't yet talking. Looking back, it was kinda funny watching her. She was shaking her finger at it and jabber, jabber in a real stern tone. Only problem now was getting the keys out, the end was melted into the receptacle. It had killed the power so that wasn't a danger, she burned the end of one finger, but it was the ignition key that was stuck/melted. I finally removed the entire receptacle and was able to then remove the key, only to find out it now wouldn't go in the ignition. After replacing the receptacle I then had to revert to one of my teenage talents....hot wiring the car to get home.

[Buster]

Prayers for you and your family.

[RDAbull]

John,
Thank you for your postings on the life of your Daughter.  I ride in IL with my brother quite a bit and have been in the Vandalia area some.  if you will pm me the address of the cemetary, I will take a rose over when I pass through.  The only other thing I can think of to do, is cherish my children while we have each other.

Roger

[John Schmidt]

John,
Thank you for your postings on the life of your Daughter.  I ride in IL with my brother quite a bit and have been in the Vandalia area some.  if you will pm me the address of the cemetary, I will take a rose over when I pass through.  The only other thing I can think of to do, is cherish my children while we have each other.

Roger

Roger, she was buried in Smith-Grove Cemetery south of Greenville, IL. Go south of I-70 at exit #41, called Millersburg Road(also highway #17). About a mile or so the road has a little curve/jog in it and you turn right(west). About a half mile down is a little Baptist country church and the cemetery is right across the road from it. Her spot is near the road, probably no headstone just yet but will be under the name of Todd Straub, not sure why all the literature left out her middle name of LeAnne and used Schmidt as a middle name; i.e., Todd Schmidt Straub as opposed to Todd LeAnne Straub.

Thank you for the offer.
John

[john]

                 
our sorrows are many ..,,,

[flsix]

John, so sorry to hear about the death of your daughter and all the emotional struggles that go with the passing of someone so close. I pray that God gives you and your family the peace and strength to cope with your loss.
Jeff