Found a dog I want to adopt.

[John Schmidt]

At the local Humane Society/ASPCA facility, a 6 yr. old female yellow Lab. All shots, spayed as a pup, the sweetest and most gentle lady and she took to me right away. Trouble is, I can't get my wife to go along with it. She has some major health issues; Parkinson's disease for about 12 yrs. and a blood disorder that is one step from turning to Leukemia...for starters. Along with it is the fact she's very frail, joints in her legs are bad and she's unable to walk far without benefit of a walker or a wheelchair. Her fear is if I'm not home at the time the dog needs to be walked, she can't do it. Also, she's afraid she wouldn't be able to handle the dog if it wanted to act up. The dog is good with other dogs, cats, kids, etc., so I'm not certain what to tell her.

The next problem she has is when we travel, what to do with the dog. I said right off..."we don't hardly travel anymore." We used to be gone all the time but not now with her health, it's nearly impossible for her. Last month she outdid herself when she flew to St. Louis and we drove to central Illinois to attend my daughter's burial service. By the time we got home she was a physical wreck so travel really isn't an issue. If we should travel and drive, I'd say we take the dog with us. If we fly, these days it's for short periods and could board her somewhere. She isn't buying any of it, but I need a buddy to go places with me. A buddy to lay next to me while watching TV or reading, or just laying around while putzing around in the shop. My wife can no longer join me, it's difficult but I'm almost ready to go against her wishes on this.

It broke my heart to have to walk away from her kennel after seeing her reaction to me, the look in her eyes. You all know what I'm talking about. I need a buddy and she needed a loving home, I think we'd make a great team. 

[signart]

Ask the shelter ifn' you can foster the pet for a trial. Explain to them the situation with the wife. Get the wife to agree for the temp visit, to see how it goes. Get your foot in the door, the dog will win over the wife. It will be good medicine for her, and great for you and your new best friend. Never met a pup I didn't like, or a dog I didn't love.

[f6john]

   Easier to ask forgiveness than permission. With all due respect to your wife, I would go ahead and bring the dog home. Unless she is just not an animal person, the dog will win her over. It's possible she will find companionship helpfull when you have to be out of the house without her. JMHO.

[BF]

Dog spelled backwards is god.  I'm sure she'd change her mind after the first time she felt a cold wet nose on her lap wanting to be petted. 

And besides....people with pets (and especially dogs) live longer. 

Before our lab mix passed, we never left her behind.....she went where we went.  There are plenty of motels and hotels (even very nice ones) that allow pets.  We've stayed at Hilton hotels before (Ocala for one) that allows pets. 

If you need to go somewhere, a quick Google search will find you tons of results for pet friendly hotels and motels. 

Also......if your not there, they make doggy doors of all shapes, types and sizes that you can install really easy so you new friend can let herself out. 

Go back John and save that dog.   

[John Schmidt]

I agree with both those thoughts. And, I think we could train the dog to be of some help for her. I'm really tempted, need a couple more days to kinda feel things out some more. As for animals and dogs in particular, she's a softy so I think she'd love it about the time it laid down next to her while she's resting. I fixed up a front bedroom for her that works as a reading/TV room for her. It faces the street so she can watch the outside activity in the area and I put a daybed in there so she can rest when needed. The rest of the time she spends in her little Lazy Boy, but the majority of her time during the day is in that room. It's bright and sunny, has a good cross breeze when needed, and I think when I'm not home(which isn't very often these days) she'd find some comfort with the dog's company. Let the dog be her caretaker in my absence....sorta!

BF, we don't reall have a backyard. The pool is screened in and outside that is the 7th fairway of the golf course we live on. I guess she could find plenty of places to do her business there, it's a par 5. 

[Paxton]

John;
I hope for the best case scenario for you and your loved ones... we at home are having the same discussion...
She'd agree to another Cat but not a Dog. A good compromise given our circumstances. 
Of course, a Cat most likely won't be going places with 'ya! ???

I told the wife that when my ability to run 'round diminishes further, am getting another Dog like my old one. 

Notwithstanding, your choices are harder and it seems your lady's special needs makes it more so. ???
Moreover, the recent loss of your daughter might be playing a part on your emotions; and it is hard to "reason"
when your heart is heavy. 

I sincerely wish you a happy outcome. 

[Thulsa Doom]

It sounds as though you both need this go and the dog needs you.
My dog goes with me everywhere but to work and he's great company. He's a terrier though so he could never be all that a Lab could as a calm companion.
Tell her you're doing it for you both and go rescue that dog. Rescues make the best pets.

[gregc]

 He looked up at you like that cause he knows. He will make a big change for the better in both of your lives.  Dogs make for great companions for the frail, and they can sense the need to be gentle around them.  Go make the choice to bring him home, before he goes home with somebody less deserving of such a great friend.  You won't regret the choice to make everybody happy.

[LandElephant]

You might remind your wife that in many medical facilities dogs are use because of their intuition to medical situation coming over a patient before even the patient knows.

I wish you well.

Land Elephant

[Moonshot_1]

My sister in law has a couple of female labs. Both highly trained hunting dogs at one time.
Generally intelligent and obedient
 
My Daughter  and Son in law has a male lab. Typical guy dog. Trained reasonably well. Can be stubborn as a mule though.
 
Another sister in law had a female lab. Untrainable, disobedient, dumb as a rock and into trouble apparently from the day it was born. Finally gave it up to some farm family.



Speaking from a practicality perspective.
You mention your wife's frailties. This may not work well with a large adult dog.
But it might work well with a smaller, less intimidating dog.
If travel is a concern, a smaller dog can even travel with you much easier.

In fact, I know a couple that have a couple of toy dobermans they travel with them everywhere. On their motorcycle. They have a trailer and the dogs are in a kennel fashioned out of a Harley trunk. Dogs love it. Last time I spoke with him about it, the dogs have logged over 60k on the bike.

I'd consider maybe something a little smaller and less intimidating from your wife's perspective.

[Jess from VA]

A trial run seems like such a good idea.... IF everyone else will go for it.

[musclehead]

geez John we're in the same boat, I wanna get a pug and the wife sez NO!

I'd even go for another cat, we've had plenty, cats are fun too.

[jer0177]

Labs are one of the best people-dogs there are - I've had several along the years, and have a Yellow lab female (girlfriends) and a black lab/boxer (or bull) mix female (mine - rescue) now.

The labs are very caring dogs - very in-tune to what their people need or want, and they are very therapeutic too.  Having a dog has been shown to help people live longer and healthier lives:

http://pets.webmd.com/ss/slideshow-pets-improve-your-health

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6279701.stm

I would go for the trial if they're game. 

[Paxton]

Moonshot_1;
Be careful when traveling with your Dog(s) "outdoors." They might mistake you for Mitt Romney!"  

[R J]

My mom had a Lab Service Dog before she passed.

They had trained her to get ahold of mom's Medic Alert and bit the button.   When they answered she barked 3 times.    The people who answered her calls knew that meant sent 911 and to call me.

She saved mom about 4 or 5 times.      Skooter was one hell of a dog (God).

When mom went to the hospital for a stay, Skooter went with her, slept under her bed and alerted the Nurses a couple of times when she stopped breathing.

I'd guess mom live at least 3 more years wit the aid of Skooter.    I took Skooter after mom died and almost to the day, one month later she passed away, I told the wife that was her duty to look after mom so she is just doing her job.   We have laughed about that for about 10 years now.

John, get the firkin dog and let her win over your wife...    There might be some hell to pay at the beginning, but it will ease up just like it has all your married life.   I'm speaking from experience here.

[donaldcc]

  If you get the right lab it can be one of the most enjoyable things you can have.  like one of my children except always unconditional love, i.e. always happy to see me no matter what! 

  trial run might be a good idea, but for me this old girl is the BEST!!   

[Jabba]

John you know already how the dog will act.  She showed you in the kennel.  You know if she's wild or calm.  And it sounds to me like you made a connection.

I have had 6 dogs as an adult.  One I only had for a little over a year.  And she was SPECIAL.  I loved them all.  But every once in a while... there is a connection that transcends logic.

Lucy was that dog for me.



Jabba

[MNBill]

Ask why the dog is at the shelter and get a history.  A dog that someone was unable to train may not work well with your wife. I just suprised my wife with a young Jack Russell terrier, we put her Westie down a few months prior. She gets along with my older JRT which says alot, he owns this house. Getting to my point tho, if you get the dog for yourself do not be disappointed if it is not the compainion you are looking for. I believe you can get a dog but the dog will pick it's master. The new JRT is my dog and follows me everywhere. If this lab is worth the dog food he eats he will turn out to me your wife's dog, he will sense that she needs him and always be there for her.  See RJ's post, it is more true about dogs than can be said in words.

[Slick]

PLEASE go and save this dog- a friend forever

[Michael K (Az.)]

I think you just have to go and do it John.

[eric in md]

   john do it .. i got your back mean it .. life short you know all to well enjoy the dog .. ps. send pictures .

[Hotrodwing]

Get the dog.  I think you will be surprised how they know when your hurting and to be quite plus I believe it will make her feel better.

[Willow]

It sounds like she's mostly anxious about whether she will be able to handle her responsibility with the dog.  You need to reassure her that all the responsibility will be yours and that you have a viable contingency plan if it doesn't work out.

You won't sleep well until you bring the dog home.

[ricoman]

see if you can "borrow" the dog for a day and bring her home to meet your wife.
An hour or two with the dog will show your wife how much she (the dog) and she (your wife) means to you that you would go to that trouble. The dog will surprise you both. She (the dog) is old enough to not be rambunctious, your wife will see that and in a few minutes she'll be smiling.
You two have had more happen in your lives than we can imagine and IMHO the dog will be good for you both.
Whatever you do, don't get the dog over your wife's objections-that  just isn't right.
The three of you get together, your wife will melt to her new buddy.

[donaldcc]

  What are you thinking about the dog John.  we are all rooting for you. 

  We got our lab at 6 weeks old and in a few training sessions she would run out in the morning to grab the paper and bring it in for a treat.  trained right away to do her job in an area on the side of the house.  very smart. 

  hope it works out.  keep us informed. 

[R J]

John,  you got that firkin dog yet?

If not, get it, ship it to me and I'll pay all expenses.

When ready to ship PM me and I'll give ya the address.

[czuch]

Jeez get the dog already, the gnats here are killin me.
You wont go wrong with a Lab. After a little while the wife wont know how she got along before.
FRAGGIN GNATS!!!!!!!!!!

[John Schmidt]

As much as I wanted the dog, with my wife's health situation I really felt the need to talk with her some more. I suggested(among many other excuses/reasons I lodged) that the dog could be trained to help her out somewhat. Since the dog is six yrs. old it may be a little late to start, but told her I still felt the dog could be trained as a Service Animal but maybe on a limited scale due to age. But, I know these are smart dogs and she would most likely surprise us. My wife, Rita, fully understands all that and was near tears during our discussion. Some of you might be familiar with an operation called Deep Brain Stimulation, used to quell some of the tremors experienced by a Parkinsons patient. It involves implanting two probes into the brain and hook it to a tiny emitter under the skin, somewhat like a heart pacemaker. It gives off microvolt stimulation that interrupts the errant nerve signals that cause the tremors. She is looking at having it done around her birthday which is June 19, sort of a b'day present to herself. It was a decision she had to make for herself, I couldn't make it for her but told her what ever she decided I would support. Frankly, due to her frailty I fear the operation outcome, she's put it off too many years. But, in our talking about the dog last night, she promised one thing; after the operation is complete and the "tuning it in" process is overwith, then we can look for a buddy for me. But for now, she feels it's too much for her to handle.

In the end, I have to back off and say no more about it. At this point I can't/won't go against her wishes. It means another year of no travel this summer, but if the operation gives me back someone that is slowly being taken away....then I'm all for it. Who knows, if the operation is more effective than expected she may even be able to ride with me again. Something she hasn't done in about eleven years, and believe me....I miss being able to reach back and squeeze that leg, to say nothing of the added comfort of the backrest. 

There will be other pooches, another time. Thanks for all your concern and comments, it got to my wife as well.

[donaldcc]

  Good you could discuss, evaluate and make a decision.      

[Jess from VA]

John you are the calm voice of reason, every time.  In everything you write here, you serve as a fine example to everyone. 

And it certainly seems you have had more than your share of hard luck, compared to most.

We've never met (I think - Inzane JC?), but I am thinking your handle could easily be changed to St. John of FL. (No humor and no sacrilege intended)

I wish you (and yours) the very best of luck in the future, you seem to be overdue. 

One day I would like to meet and shake your hand.

Jess

[BF]

John.......will they put the dog down if it's not adopted out?  Or is it a no kill shelter?

Just a thought, but perhaps if they know your interested, but not able to adopt at this time, they'll consider holding it for you if someone else doesn't adopt it first.   

[John Schmidt]

John.......will they put the dog down if it's not adopted out?  Or is it a no kill shelter?

Just a thought, but perhaps if they know your interested, but not able to adopt at this time, they'll consider holding it for you if someone else doesn't adopt it first.   

I don't think they hold animals according to their website, but I don't think this one is in any danger. She's a real lovey thing and the staff adores her. I plan to keep an eye on it and maybe, just maybe, down the road it might work out. I've noticed any number of their animals have been there for quite a few months so the possibility does exist if she isn't taken before hand.

[John Schmidt]

Where are you located? My wife and I are flying to Dulles May 23, returning home the 29th. Her daughter lives in Chantilly and their son is getting married that weekend(grandma wouldn't miss that for anything). I'll have some time on my hands, at least until that Saturday when the wedding takes place.

Send me a PM if you're close enough to that area, although I have no idea what transportation I'll have since we're not renting a car.

[BF]

I'm just up at the other end of the state from you John.  Me, ChrisJ CMA and Earl from Pensacola are up here in the Panhandle.   

[Jess from VA]

Dude that is local, hour to Dulles a bit farther to Chantilly.  

I have to go to MI this week, but will be back by then.

We can hook up easily, and I have two bikes (but a problem), and a cage.

I will email later.  Busy.

 

[John Schmidt]

Dude that is local, hour to Dulles a bit farther to Chantilly.  

I have to go to MI this week, but will be back by then.

We can hook up easily, and I have two bikes (but a problem), and a cage.

I will email later.  Busy.

 

KEWL!!