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MarkT Exhaust
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Author Topic: Curtain Rods  (Read 753 times)
X Ring
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Posts: 3626


VRCC #27389, VRCCDS #204

The Landmass Between Mobile And New Orleans


« on: June 01, 2012, 09:58:39 AM »

On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar,and a bottle of spring-water.

When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the curtain rods.

He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell.  They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.  Nothing worked!  People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house.The maid quit.

Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going.  She told him the saga of the rotting house.  He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day.

He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

A week later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ......


And to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!

Don't you just love stories with "happy endings"?

Marty
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People are more passionately opposed to wearing fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than bikers.           
Patrick
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VRCC 4474

Largo Florida


« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2012, 10:19:14 AM »

ROTFLMAO,, boy I wish I had thought of that many years ago !!
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GiG
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"That's just like, your OPINION, Man!"

NEAR the "In 'n' Out Burger"


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« Reply #2 on: June 01, 2012, 10:26:12 AM »

Every time I "Fire the Maid",
I stay put in my own freakin house.
Just sayin...
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Everything is - Nothing is .


When you come to a fork in the road - TAKE IT!
(send it to OSS)

This isn’t Rocket Surgery
LadyDraco
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TISE

Bastian, VA. Some of the best roads in the East


« Reply #3 on: June 01, 2012, 03:41:27 PM »

One of my favorite stories ...
I post it at least once a year..
But mine features a woman... angel

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Life is what you make of it~If it don't fit make alterations...
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YoungPUP
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Valparaiso, In


« Reply #4 on: June 01, 2012, 05:44:54 PM »

 Grin 2funny
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Yea though I ride through the valley of the Shadow of Death I shall fear no evil. For I ride the Baddest Mother F$#^er In that valley!

99 STD (Under construction)
..
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Posts: 27796


Maggie Valley, NC


« Reply #5 on: June 01, 2012, 06:24:29 PM »

Years ago I was a car driving instructor in SE London.

A fellow worker put a kipper in the air vent of the center console of my work car. Yep, it smelt for a few days until I worked out where the smell was coming from.

My revenge which stopped any more messing with my car.

I crushed some moth balls and put them down the windshield vents.

No one messed with my car after that.  Grin
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