.....I dont have to tell ya,s....its been a long...brutal..freezing....wayyyyy tooooo muchhhh snow....kinda winter....and Chili and I were both in a winter funk....we needed some wind...and we needed it BAD....
...thats when Chili cooked up a little Idea...why not load up the trailer..(not "Colorado loaded up"....pack "lite" this time...*Lesson Learned*)........and head on out for up state NY and....Americade !!
...we could hook up with my ol riding buddy Johnny...and some other good friends of ours...John and Denise....and explore the area for a week or so.....so we made reservations 30 miles outsside of town, in Ticonderoga....and set our little minds to wandering....
....well....you know how plans are....10 days before Americade....Johnny rings me up and sez that he,s in the middle of some HUGE project....and he just cant break away.....I was Bummmmeddddd.....I had not seen Johnny in 4 years....and was seriously looking forward to sharing some wind with him again.....and even though I dearly love John and Denise.....not to see my boy Johnny had me so sad....that I seriously thought about just cancelling the trip and staying home....
.....but thats where my Chili Gurl comes in....that woman is my Saving Grace...I cant recall just how many times Ive been bound and determined to make a....bad decision...and she comes through like a lighting rod of common sense and says......shut up..were going !
.....and so it was.....now we have a reputation for being ...shall we say...not always being prepared 100 % for our adventures.....and as hard as it is to believe....we got off to a late start..(early afternoon).....in the middle of the week....hell...I packed all my stuff that morning in 30 minutes....tossed it in the trailer....and we were gone..
...so it wasnt that much of a surprise....that we got to our hotel in Niagra, Canada......late
....it might of had something to do with our experience at......The Border.....ya see..Chili and I had just gotten our new and improved...License/Passport....License,s in the mail just mere days before....having procastinated to the verrrrryyyyy last minute ...to go apply for em...I know...I know....but just hold on, as it does get better....we glide over the Port Huron Bridge and before us lay Canada....I cruise upto the Border and stop behind the car at the little booth....after a few minutes the car pulls off...and we pull up to take our rightful place...and see if we cant persuade em to let us hang out in their great state for a while....as I ease up to the toll booth, I observe a young girl in her official Border Inspection Outfit...or what ever ya call it....she,s so young though....that to me that she looks like some highschool girl in a band outfit....I muster up my best smile at her ...to which she responds, in a stern voice....you know...YOU just ran that stop sign back there ! ......hmmmm...I look back...and shur enough...about 4 feet back behind us.....is a stop sign....so Ive been in the country for all of ohhhhhhhh....5 seconds...and it seems Ive broken the law already....so I look back at her and try to smile...more....she dead pans me and goes..do you know the license plate number on your motorcycle ? .....now...Im going deaf in my left ear....Id say I have about 70% hearing in it....so I thought she said...does your motorcycle have a license plate ? .....to which I replied....yes....to which she sez....what is the number ? ......to which I smile..(again)...and go....thats a good question !
....Now....she looking at me like Im crazy....Chili immediately figures out whats going on...so she *jumps* off the bike and quickly recites to the now scowling little band girl....me....I just smile...some more....now...along the way in the US...I happened to pick up a small pint bottle of Capn Morgan...just for medicinary purposes, ya understand....and before we hit the border...I lean back and sez over my shoulder to Chili...I sez...ya think I oughta *declare*..this here little bottle O Capn...when we get to the border ? ....to which she sez....nahhhhh...its jest a tiny little bottle...I wouldnt worry about it.....sooooooooo...the next question out this now slightly perplexed ....highschool band leader....Border Gaurd type girl is......ya have any alcohol or tobaco products ? ....to which I start shaking my head ...*back n forth*....No....and as Im doing that..I hear Chili say........Yes .....now..besides stopping shaking my head back and forth as fast as I can....thoughts of some cushy..(I seen em on Tv)....jail...are now running though my mind...cuz Im almost sure this little gaurd girl....Dosent Like Us American Motorcycle Types...all that much....but for some reason....she lets that slide and goes....so...whats in the trunk....to which I smile and go...oh...you know....socks...underwearrrrrrr......she dead pan,s me again...(not smiling)...and sez......Go !
....and so it was....just two happy little American bikers...off on our adventure in grand ol Canada....thoughts of spending the night in some *cushy* Canadian jail...quickly fading from our minds....
....so we cruised on through Canada...gassed up...the whole time taking our sweet time...as Ive heard all the horror stories about HUGE fines for speeding here....but as were merrily making our way down the road....I notice something...EVERYONE...is blowing our doors off...soooooo...I figgered what the hell...we backed the Border Patrol girl off...how much tougher can a Canadin cop be ?...and I *tweeked* the throttle...and before yanno it...we were going over the speed limit by ohhhhhhh...at least 25 KLM......and before yanno it...we were pulling into good Niagra...and there in all its grandeur was ....The Embassy Suites...replete with "Valet Parking"...so I swung the State on into the big ol sweeping canopy covered entrance way....careful not to run over any of the ..many...sharply dreesed young men out front and parked her right up front...and it wasnt long before Valets and tourist alike were crowding around the State and ohhhing and ahhhing.....
....we summoned the head Valet...queried him upon their parking accomodations and our bags...and he said....the lady can enter therough the Lobby...and I should cruise on up onto the 2nd level...and park my bike, where ever I felt safest..
....sooooo....I cruised on up....found a nice ...safe little spot against the wall....and pulled her in....took the elevator to the Lobby....there Chili and I took the elevator up to the 19th floor....put our key in the door...and walked into out...suite....the back wall was all windows...and this is the first sight we saw....
......Awesome
....close up shot from our room..
.....yep....for a mere 120 bucks....we were on the 19th floor...in a suite replete with...hot tub....wet bar....eletronic fire place...and an Incredible view of not just one...but both Falls...and the entire city and across the river most of Niagra Falls in the US....we were floored to say the least....so, after unpacking..and ogggling the view for a while...we spiffed up a bit and head on out to find "The Needle"...and have dinner ....high above the city...
...along the way I had my beautiful Chili stop for a ...photo op
...we had to walk across town...but it was a scenic walk...and we finally made ou way to the Needle....problem was....it was already after 10 PM and the restaurant was already closed ?...what the hey....its only 10 PM.....they told us we could still go up and .."take pictures"...if we wanted....for only 10 dollars a piece
....no thanks
....sooooooo...we made our way ...back...across town...stopping along the way for some more shots.....nice full moon in the back ground..eh ?
...and we decided to have dinner at the steak house right in the restaurant.....they seated us right against the windows....with the falls right infront of us ....all lit up....
.....sweeeeeeeet
.....after a great steak dinner....and some of THE HOTTEST..horse radish sauce ya ever laid a lip on...it was back to the room to fire up that jacuzzi...and break open that bottle of Capn I almost got *Busted* for at the border....
.....heres to you...little highschool band leader type....Border Gaurd !
....the next morning...I woke at 5 am.....I know..I know....ya dont believe it for a minute....but heres the proof.....the falls as sunrise.....very cool...
.....oh yeah.....Chili was snoring away when I took these...
.....I went back to bed...and we slept in till about 9 ...showered and packed ....then went down stairs where they had this HUGE friggin Breakfast Buffet....and your very own waitress to wait on you...for free.....dont want the buffet ?...no sweat...they will make ya an omlette...any way ya want it...did I mention that all this was only 120 bucks ?!?
...anyway....we packed the bike up and stopped on the way out of town for s few shots ...down by the falls...
.....Ahhhhhh.....Canada sure was fine....great folks....treated us very well.....and on the way outta town...Chili sez ...lets stop at this Casino, to get a "present"...for a friend of ours...back in America....yep....a Cuban Ceegarrrrrr....girsl sez...take the band off...the stoopid American Border Patrol guy....will never know the difference...and while yer at it....why dont chas *stash* it in...yer bra ..or somewheres..."safe"....ummmmmm.....okie ?
....soooooo....it was time for....Border Crossing Part II.....we cruise on up to the Booths....me the whole time looken for any sneaky....road signs....and we stop at the little booth....so far so good....right ?......there...standing in his little Booth...looken all official...is this guy in his mid 30,s......with a reallyyyyyyy bad toupe....okay...I know what yer thinkn....this is the good part where Timbr looses it...burst,s out laughing....and promptly gets hauled off to some....Maxium Security Facility....for hours and hours of questioning...and mebbe a little *water boardering*.....jusssst cuz they need to keep in practice....Wrong!
.....I looked up at him...*bit my lip*...and go...sooooooo....nice day were havin..eh ?
...to which he looked down his big ol honker...sitting under that really bad hair piece...and goes....ID !
....well....okie...if thats the way ya want it...so Chili and I pull out our shiney new ..spiffy...License/Passports....that we were keeping in a...handy place...so,s we could easily and quickly....git it to this guy...and mebbe sneeeeeeeek on baaaaack into good ol America....before ya can say.....Illegal Contraband ! ..
....well...as luck would have it....my license..for some unknown reason....wouldnt scan...now...this is just what these ass hats are looken for...some suspicious looking .."biker type"...on a black motorcycle...towing a...black trailer...wearing a...black leather jacket...and really dark ...Tortise Shell Wayfarer Sunglasses....that he bought way back in the mid 80,s....he looks down at me and goes....Turn that thing OFF !...to which Chili sez....smilingly...it is a little loud...isnt it...to which he replies.....Arent they ALL ?!? .............Okayyyyyyyy.....he informs us that my license wont scan...to which Im thinkn...worth every steeken penny..of the 50 bucks they raped me for it.....he then sez....where ya going...IF..ya get into America ?....to which Chili sez...*Gleefully*.....Americade ! ...I,ll betcha hadda ALOT of bikes comming through..heading there !....to which he dead pans her with....No....then goes onto to tell us..."most"...of the bikers are entering America....down state..."closer"..to the event...and "why"...are we entering here ?.......ummmm.....cuz we were in Niagra...and were heading to Americade...so...here we are....entering here ? ....an explaination that...at the time....seemed kinda fishy...even to me.....
.....so there we sat....looken at the official kinda guy with a really bad toupe...and knowing that our fate of getting back into our gun lovin...war mongering....innocent civillian masscreing country.....lay in his hands....
......we watch...pennsively...as he leans into his microphone and goes....yeah....they,re on a "black motorcycle"...with a "black trailer"....and HIS ..spiffy..shiney License/Passport....WONT SCAN !!!
...to which an urgent voice on the other end can be heard to say......DONT LET EM IN !!.....DONT LET EM IN !!!
....he turns to us...all official like...and kind of embarresed cuz we heard the whole conversation...and goes....ahhhh...I need you to pull this "thing."...around the corner....so whats a guy to do ? ....I start her up and ease around the corner and ...out of sight of the general public...and there is...another official guy....pointing to a neatly painted ..white square ..right next to a building with black tinted windows....so I ease the state right up into the square...shut off the engine....and he sez...someone will be right with you...and trots off...I get off the bike and look around....over head...and all around us....posistioned in.. strategic locations...are cameras...ALL pointed at us...suddenly....a blue mini van pulls up about 5 feet from us...and in it is....2 old grandads....two grandmoms sitting behind them....and two 10 year old grandkids...playing hand held video games in the very back.....whatta cleaver disguise I think....I wonder where they stahsed the bombs ?
....so there we sit...waiting......looking around I can see the old folks are looking mighty nervous....so I whip out the camera and decide to ...take some pictures...I quick take one of Chili....then decide a nice one of "the sign"....saying where we are would make a great "prop" for this story....I step back...focus...and hear....PUT THAT CAMEAR AWAY !!! ......NO PICTURES !! ....geeshhhh..
.....so there I sit...bored....finally...about 10 minutes later a big ol Border type guy comes walking up to me and goes.....okay.....open up ALL the compartments.....okayyyyyyy...I start openin saddle bags....touring bag...he looks right at Chili,s pocketbook....hiding the "Contraband Cuban Ceedarrrr"....(excellent hiding sot darling
)...then we get to the trailer...Chili unlocks it and opens it....he looks at our duffel bags, holding all our worldly posessions...and I say.....you can look in em if ya want...to which he goes.....nahhhh...thats okay...close it....so I do...I look up, and he,s staring at our....little blue cooler....now I can just tell...if he dosent have a...look see...in that cooler....this poor schmuck isnt going to get a wink of sleep tonight...so I go....wanna have a ....*look see* ? . ...to which he thinks for a second and goes.....yeahhhhhh....I better...so I pull the two bunty cords off...open it...and...its empty....to which he goes.......okay...you,re clean...you can go.....to whcih I reply....sorry to disappoint you....to which he shoots back....Oh No...thats a GOOD thing....for you !
...now right about now...for some reason...I cant get the lyrics out of my head of Arlo Guthries ...Alices Resaurant....where he,s singn bout sitting on the bench with...mother rapers....and father rapers...and how the Sheriff had 8X10 glossys of the ....trash he threw over the cliff....
....he wanders off....and there we ...still sit...so I look over at the blue mini van with the menacing looking...senior citizens...in it and go.....yanno...I gotta tell ya...I agree with em 100 %.....them two ladys in the back....look suspicious to me too ! ....to which they all broke out laughing....nervously...and we ll started a conversation about...what the hell were WE doin ...back off in this camera filled corner...and I said...welcome to the...New America...and one of the old broads chimes right in....thats RIGHT....the NEW AMERICA....about which time Im hopin they come with our licenses...soon...before they take me away for...starting a riot....
.....right about the..a nice ...friendly..."laughing"..woman walks up...hands us our spiffy...Shiney...License/Passports...and sez.....okay...you can go....to which I say....heyyyyy....ya think I could take a ..*picture*...of that there sign up there ?....she looks...shrugs her shoulders and sez...shur....then she disappears around the corner.....so I back up...focus...and....HEY....DONT TAKE PICTURES BACK HERE !! ....yet another...official looken ..Border Gaurd type is walking up and I go....she just said we could ! ....he looks at Chili...sitting on the back of the bike ...laughs..and goes..who...her ?..to which I reply...no...another gaurd that just walked around the corner....this kind of confuses him and he looks at the corner and then sez......ummm okay.......I feel safer already...
....sosnap the pic...mount up the bike...look around....see the big ol....Welcome To New York ..sign...but have no clue how to get to it....finally figger it out....milk the throttle nice and slowwwwwww...and finally...
.....were Back in America !
..(with our "contraband Cuban ceegar..intact)
......Public Enemy # 1
...Wanted in 18 States...(and a tiny little bar down Louisanna way)
.........hoo yeah...gettin into Canada..was never this much fun !
....sooooo.....there were.....back in Amerika !
.....we rode all day...and into the night....deeper and deeper into the mountains...until finally we made our destination....we pulled up to the front door of the motel...checked in and said our hellos to our friends from good ol jersey....John...Denise..and Nancy....worn out...we decided to hit the hay and cath up with them in the morning....we rendezvoused for breakfast at a nice lil place then headed on out for......Americade !
...hey Chili...ya think yer...Da Fonz...or what ? ..
...I hafta tell ya....Rt 9n...is oh soooooo sweet.......twisties and winding roads up and over hiils and valleys.....definitely made being harrassed by Americas Finest worth it..
....it was 30 magnificent miles to Lake George...and a pleasure all the way.....upper New York State rocks....some really fine roads...
....we finally made our destination...and I hafta tell ya...there were friggin bikes EVERY WHERE !...and I mean everywhere...Ive never seen so many.....we slowly made our way through town ...parked our bikes in a sea of bikes in a field...and dismounted....we were officially at...Americade..
...John and his ladies had already been there for two days...so we spilt up...agreeing to meet for lunch...and Chili and I slaolwy began to explore the 287 vendors...we were in heaven...
...they had some cool stuff...and some odd stuff...like this kit for what else...a Wing....40K for the kit...bike NOT included....ummm...I,ll pass...
....we met up for a fine lunch and compared notes about the day....John told us they were whooped and going to head back to town and would meet us for dinner later....we said our goodbyes and Chili and I waded back on into the fray of motorcycles...she bought a really fine riding jacket...and I got me a nice Wolf patch for the back of my denim vest...on the way out we asked security to take the...obligatory shot...infront of the banner...
....we took our time riding into Lake George...but lets face it...Rt 9n is 30 miles of some the finest roads staring us right in the face...I *tweeked* the throttle and we did 60-70 mph allllllllllll the way back to town.....hooo yeahhhh....
...now...as we were leaving the event...this kid on a crotch rocket cut me off...cut another car off...spilt lanes...and disappeared down Rt 9n ...into the woods....so when we got about half way back and bikes comming the other way started giving us the ...hand down..sign for...slow up...and we came around the corner to a mess of police cars....Chili and I were thinking that mebbe...just mebbe....that kid split too many lanes...a Harley boy and his ol lady pulled up beside us and told us how this is one of the worse curves in the area....swoops down...then into a tight right curve...comes back up fast...tight left curve....and alot of bikes go down here...sure enough...it wasnt the kid that cut us off...but another kid and his two buddies...al on crotch rockets....he was last...came into the curve too hot...and kissed the old rusted...Iron railing...rail along the side of the road...funny...on the way to the event I remember looking at that railing and thinking how if you went into it...it would eat you up like a meat grinder...now....here this kid lay....on the other side of it...he already had a white sheet over him...and they were placing a big ol tarp on top of that...as we slowly passed by I saw his bike sitting upright...the front end mangled and destroyed....nothing can sober you up so quickly when yer out riding a great road like that.....then seeing some other biker.....dead on the side of the road.....I slowed down the rest of the way back to town.......
.....we all went out that night to a fine seafood buffet.....it was a great meal with close friends...on a great adventure.....we laughed and told lies throughout the night.....then...said our goodbyes....agreeing that next time....next time....we wouldnt let so much time elapse....before sharing some wind again...
....the next morning Chili and I packed our stuff...and hit the road....we were headed for up state Pennsylvania....Gods country.....you see Chili,s mom is 87...and even though shes in great shape and has great wit about her...Chili still had a yearning to see her...so we rode up into the hills until we found that...little dirt road...we turned off and slowly made our way down the gravel road until we crested a hill....there streaching out as far as you can see.....was a beautiful valley...hills....trees....and farms dotting the horizon.....it was all Chili,s mom,s land.....all 300 acres of it.....you see her parents were farmers....salt of the earth people....we slowly made our way down that gravel road till we hit a small drive way...we turned off and pulled up infront of an old worn out...tattered farm house...Id hafta say it was around at least 150 years old....we beeped the horn and walked on in....there...all hunched over and walking with a cane...no more the a little over 4 feet tall now....was Chili,s mom...we said our hellos...had dinner...then got a BIG ol fire roaring out in the front yard....we all sat around..enjoying a littl libation and warm memories....
...the next morning we rose..had coffee and breakfast....then sat out front....I watched as mother and daughter shared some quiet moments....Faith is the baby of a LARGE family...lots of brothers and sisters....and one of her momma,s favortes.....I could tell...
...after a few days....we packed up and sadly said our goobyes....we were running out of time..and it was time to hit the road.....
.....we mounted up....hooked the trailer back up....and slowly made our way back up that gravel road to the main road....riding off into the hills of Pennsylvania....it had been raining litely all around us...and the smell in those sweet hills was beyond belief....we took Rt 6 ...the long way home....and as I breathed in that sweet air, my mind wandered back to when I first met Faith...she would write me these long romantic E Mails....telling me about when she was growing up with all her brothers and sisters...how they lived in the middle of no where...no other kids around...so they would play together....making up games....and sometimes playing in an old ancient graveyard across the way in a field....she went on to tell me about all the sweet aromas she would experience every spring in those hills.....
...and here we were....cruising down the highway....being in the wind....experiencing those sweet aromas....together.....as we slowly made our way home...
.....sometimes....life can be so sweet in one quiet moment, exploring the wind on some lonely long ago back road......together..
~ A Timbr n Chili Production
