New job problem , need advice

[weeder]

Started a job 7 days ago.   All is workin out, I have 20 years experience doin this,  professional  grade aptitude ok.

The problem is  one of the    foreman was yelling at me like a  second cousin cure dog - 'your my bitch attitude'  .   .  dosent want to work together  , just an abusive   low level typical amerian  shithead.

My crap is straight , Im a pro at what I do.   

So have a problem with this mfer ,    I almost gathered up my crap and walked off.

Just an insecure   POS wana be macho man  that I cant let go on cause its a job.

What do I do?

In the old days it would be  gloves off, total blowout mess.

But now that Ive gotten older I  have to diplomatic?   or something?


Bottom line -- if this POS   pushes me like a damn dog 1 more time  Im gonna   go off.

Thought of going to management and tell them  that if the POS mfr runs me again -- I AM GONE--

NOTE--- THIS guy is a wana be fancy pants -  I made it-- look at me now--  punk kind of guy.

need help.       ( very pissed -- m   

[RainMaker]

Can't figure out exactly what's happening except he's under your skin.  Could you tell what he actually said and what the situation was?  He may be threatened by you and hoping to get you to start swinging or just quit.  Sounds like he is being successful. 

So, need more info.

[Gryphon Rider]

The way you describe it, if you do nothing proactive, you're going to be gone in a week, so there is no reason not to take the following action.  Talk to the person who hired you and explain the situation.  Explain everything in calm, rational terms.  As much as possible, keep the atmosphere light and matter-of-fact, telling what happened without attributing motivations to your supervisor.  Explain that you have every intention to be a highly productive, long term employee, but when you accepted the job you were unaware of how you would be treated by your immediate supervisor.  Then ask him how he would approach it if he were in your shoes.  If his response is acceptable to you, then follow through.  If not, shake his hand and tell him that you would be happy to consider coming back if the supervision style changes to be what is acceptable.

[BF]

The way you describe it, if you do nothing proactive, you're going to be gone in a week, so there is no reason not to take the following action.  Talk to the person who hired you and explain the situation.  Explain everything in calm, rational terms.  As much as possible, keep the atmosphere light and matter-of-fact, telling what happened without attributing motivations to your supervisor.  Explain that you have every intention to be a highly productive, long term employee, but when you accepted the job you were unaware of how you would be treated by your immediate supervisor.  Then ask him how he would approach it if he were in your shoes.  If his response is acceptable to you, then follow through.  If not, shake his hand and tell him that you would be happy to consider coming back if the supervision style changes to be what is acceptable.

This^^^^^^^^


Or, just beat the crap out of 'em. 

[Paxton]

This is the best of the bad options:
"Thought of going to management and tell them  that if the POS mfr runs me again -- I AM GONE--"

Always, Keep your cool. Keep your cool. Keep your kool!
Before hand write down the three or so issues you need to discuss. Take the list w/you for in case you get sidetracked
during the conversation.

Keep your kool. Be rerspectful. Ask for "assistance in solving the problem." ???

Good luck.

[Davemn]

Document everything that happens. Nobody has to work in a hostile work environment these days.

[Novavalker]

1. Write It Down

Keep a detailed journal of what occurred with as many details as possible.

2. List Witnesses

If there are witnesses, compile their names.

3. Use Your Voice

Tell the offensive person his/her behavior is not acceptable.

4. Seek Help

Go to the supervisor, if necessary.

5. Don’t Rise To The Occasion

Choose not to react to the bullying or harassing behavior. (Quite often, bullying is power through aggression).

6. Use Company Resources

Use your company’s resources, such as a harassment advisor, mediator or employee assistance program (EAP), if necessary. Many EAP programs offer you a choice of talking to someone by phone or in person, and possibly the opportunity to seek assistance outside of your community.

Naturally, harassing behavior or bullying creates stress. I’d like to thank my colleague, Sheryl Pedersen, for inspiring me to blog about this, after taking her workplace stress management seminar.

7. Identify Workplace Stressors

Take a work stress inventory to identify your sources of stress, your triggers and your current coping mechanisms.

8. Change Negative Thoughts

Learn to identify and change your “mind maps” (thoughts swirling in your mind) in such a situation and remind yourself this stressful situation is temporary. You CAN transform negative thoughts and energy into positive thoughts and positive energy.

I highly recommend Dr. David Burns’ book, Feeling Good, to deal with defeating your mind’s negative thoughts. Dr. Burns uses cognitive behavior tools and techniques to help you “program” your mind in the face of adversity.

9. Keep A Joy Journal

Write a joy journal to focus on what is going right (this is the focus of my solution-focus training), rather than what is going wrong.

10. Learn To Relax

Teach your body to relax with “keeping well” resources: deep breathing, progressive relaxation, mindfulness, guided imagery and relaxing music.

If you are a victim of harassment or bullying in the workplace, a statement from Dr. Ron Warner, who trained me in solution-focused interviewing and counseling, still resonates: “No problem exists 24/7 except for terminal illness or chronic pain.”


Read more at http://www.careerealism.com/10-tips-for-dealing-with-workplace-harassment/#4g8pKHUUMB0vsmvl.99

[old2soon]

What Gryphon Ryder said along with maybe punching him out. I've worked for some folks-very few-that either needed an attitude adjustment or THEY needed to find some thing else to do OTHER than work where they are. Get one on one with loud mouth and explain you do WAY better with out him hollerin his ass off ONLY put it more diplomatic. BUT the big question here is-do you have another job to go to?? DO NOT get me wrong-I am in no way shape or form saying knuckle under to this Neanderthal. Comes down to talk-adjust conditions and if you feel like you can take him clean his clock and splain to him WHY he is getting his clock cleaned.   RIDE SAFE.

[Valkjerk]

Weeder, Cooler heads always prevail. You're gettin' some very good advice on this board so take heed. If not, I'm gonna have to ride up to Wy and knock you on the head. LOL  Also, you don't know what kind of trauma this a-hole is having in his personal life. No response to him is the best response. After a little time, he's going to realize that you are the right man and he'll cave. Patience my man, patience. Remember, Jesus is watching and he's not happy with your supervisor. Do you want him unhappy with you?

[Gryphon Rider]

So, how hard of a punch does it take to get criminally charged with battery?  And would that make it easier or harder to find a new job than simply walking away from a job that you've worked for 7 days?

A 7 day job that's not mentioned on a resume wouldn't create an employment gap large enough for a potential employer to ask about.

A "yes" answer to the question, "Have you ever been convicted of a criminal offence?" is a lot harder to explain, especially of it's job-related.

[saddlesore]

I've taken a lot of crap at work. I almost always kept my cool.  I can't say my working life was the best but I had a job and paid my bills.
Find an outlet to blow off steam, like riding a motorcycle.

[weeder]

The way you describe it, if you do nothing proactive, you're going to be gone in a week, so there is no reason not to take the following action.  Talk to the person who hired you and explain the situation.  Explain everything in calm, rational terms.  As much as possible, keep the atmosphere light and matter-of-fact, telling what happened without attributing motivations to your supervisor.  Explain that you have every intention to be a highly productive, long term employee, but when you accepted the job you were unaware of how you would be treated by your immediate supervisor.  Then ask him how he would approach it if he were in your shoes.  If his response is acceptable to you, then follow through.  If not, shake his hand and tell him that you would be happy to consider coming back if the supervision style changes to be what is acceptable.

Gryphon ;    great advice =--- thanks.      

I do specialty work for this company and am valuable hand.      We'll see,  thanks again.

Your welcome at my campfire anytime.    MIKE

[weeder]

The way you describe it, if you do nothing proactive, you're going to be gone in a week, so there is no reason not to take the following action.  Talk to the person who hired you and explain the situation.  Explain everything in calm, rational terms.  As much as possible, keep the atmosphere light and matter-of-fact, telling what happened without attributing motivations to your supervisor.  Explain that you have every intention to be a highly productive, long term employee, but when you accepted the job you were unaware of how you would be treated by your immediate supervisor.  Then ask him how he would approach it if he were in your shoes.  If his response is acceptable to you, then follow through.  If not, shake his hand and tell him that you would be happy to consider coming back if the supervision style changes to be what is acceptable.

This^^^^^^^^


Or, just beat the crap out of 'em.  

LOve to --- be so gratifying-----  I thought a lot about that ,    lay a hand on me and your jaw is broken  .

[weeder]

Document everything that happens. Nobody has to work in a hostile work environment these days.

That's what Im thinkin.

[weeder]

Weeder, Cooler heads always prevail. You're gettin' some very good advice on this board so take heed. If not, I'm gonna have to ride up to Wy and knock you on the head. LOL  Also, you don't know what kind of trauma this a-hole is having in his personal life. No response to him is the best response. After a little time, he's going to realize that you are the right man and he'll cave. Patience my man, patience. Remember, Jesus is watching and he's not happy with your supervisor. Do you want him unhappy with you?

I BELIEVE IN JESUS.    mike

[The emperor has no clothes]

So, how hard of a punch does it take to get criminally charged with battery?  And would that make it easier or harder to find a new job than simply walking away from a job that you've worked for 7 days?

A 7 day job that's not mentioned on a resume wouldn't create an employment gap large enough for a potential employer to ask about.

A "yes" answer to the question, "Have you ever been convicted of a criminal offence?" is a lot harder to explain, especially of it's job-related.

+1, Something like punching your boss would surely follow you around. Might consider some of Paxton's medicine. Your posts come thru as being pretty angry at times. Hope it works out for you

[Bonzo]

Most Important, Keep your hands in your pocket, try not to yell. Lose your temper, you lose. You're better than this P.O.S. so don't let him win.
 

[Big Al of Tennessee]

Weeder, Cooler heads always prevail. You're gettin' some very good advice on this board so take heed. If not, I'm gonna have to ride up to Wy and knock you on the head. LOL  Also, you don't know what kind of trauma this a-hole is having in his personal life. No response to him is the best response. After a little time, he's going to realize that you are the right man and he'll cave. Patience my man, patience. Remember, Jesus is watching and he's not happy with your supervisor. Do you want him unhappy with you?

I BELIEVE IN JESUS.    mike

Had a Foreman Like that one time, He called me a Mother______, I just calmly walked off.

Walking off for a few minutes, did the trick. Took him down a notch. Mind you I did not return  the

evil for evil thing. Kept my mouth shut.

Had a Coke, came back.

He thought about what an ass he was being, then I told him, look man I am a new Christian, I don't

like hearing that. He said it would not happen again. It did not happen again.

I BELIEVE IN JESUS TOO.

Al

[Big Al of Tennessee]

Having said all that, how is your right hook.

Need a plan B.

[weeder]

Having said all that, how is your right hook.

Need a plan B.

I   am super  fast    , cant even see it,   right  undercut to the chin---- instant knock out. 

You asked.

[donaldcc]

Having said all that, how is your right hook.

Need a plan B.

I   am super  fast    , cant even see it,   right  undercut to the chin---- instant knock out. 

You asked.

  my thought is that workplace violence is unacceptable.  if you can't deal with it otherwise, don't go back.

[The emperor has no clothes]

Having said all that, how is your right hook.

Need a plan B.

I   am super  fast    , cant even see it,   right  undercut to the chin---- instant knock out. 

You asked.

Maybe a career change to MMA is in order

[weeder]

Having said all that, how is your right hook.

Need a plan B.

I   am super  fast    , cant even see it,   right  undercut to the chin---- instant knock out.  

You asked.

Maybe a career change to MMA is in order





LOL  2funny smart ass, Mixed martial arts?     ouch.      no not for me,  Im a nothing  .  I use lead anymore . Its cheaper. Wink

[sandy]

Sounds like the alpha dog is insecure and trying to re establish his stature with the new guy. Do all that diplomatic stuff before walking out. Smacking might sound like fun, but you're the better man for not doing that.

[Jess Tolbirt]

similar situation with me once, when he got thru yelling i turned and walked away,, when i got him alone where there were no witnesses, i politely told him in a low normal voice,, if you ever go off on me like that again i will f*** you up. never had another problem, he turned out to be a pretty nice guy..

[alph]

OH THE WONDERFUL CELL PHONE!!! 

get your cell phone out, set it to record (video or audio) and let the jerk go on his rampage.  then, go to HR (if they have one) then tell them that's what you've got to deal with at work and it's an "unsafe" work enviroment.

then, take HIS job.......  treat your co-workers as human beings, and you'll be amazed at how many others wanted to do the same thing you did....

(words of expierence)

[Tailgate Tommy]

OH THE WONDERFUL CELL PHONE!!! 

get your cell phone out, set it to record (video or audio) and let the jerk go on his rampage.  then, go to HR (if they have one) then tell them that's what you've got to deal with at work and it's an "unsafe" work enviroment.

then, take HIS job.......  treat your co-workers as human beings, and you'll be amazed at how many others wanted to do the same thing you did....

(words of expierence)

+1 Don't get mad, get even.

[..]

Line up a new job asap.

[Momz]

At one time I was in a similar job situation.

I always rode to work, and he would always start his harassment about riding my M/C in all weather conditions and then escalate from their to my entire lifestyle and more.

My situation was cured when I had a few of my 1%er friends meet me after work in the parking lot and waited until my supervisor came out to his car. He saw us laughing and joking, and asked if he would like to join us for a beer.

He got in his car and raced out of the parking lot and we all laughed our asses off. He never spoke to me again unless he was forced to.

[Gavin_Sons]

I use to have a foreman just like this, pushed me to the breaking point then he would lay off for a few days then push me again. After a couple years he pulled me to the side and explained himself. Said he pushed me so hard because he seen what I can do and wanted to know exactly how much I would do for him. Said no one lasted as long as me. After that we were good friends and still talk to him to this day even though I no longer work there. Other reasons pushed me away from the job. I was well on my way to being foreman myself, I actually was in charge of the earth movers and 4 guys that answered to me. Maybe this guy is testing you or maybe he is a complete doucher. Hard to tell

[weeder]

Project Super just called -- ; said be under the silo at 8 to load.

I said ok , be there.

Then I said ;  You need to have a talk to the hotplant operator   , and told him my beef with this POS.

He said Mike  don't quit on me  , and to tell the plant operator you work for me and  knock off the shyte.  

He said he'd talk to him .   My boss runs the company and has big pull.    

Im trying not to (for a change ) make myself look like an ass and  be a victim to the little / petty people that  always seem to win.  

So tomorrow Im gonna  confront this   peon  like my boss says and if he touches me  he will have a broken jaw at best.

 if he runs his mouth  which cowards usually do --  Ill do my best.


Like they say--- I WONT BE INSULTED     ,   I WILL NOT BE LADE  A HAND ON.            PERIOD- my line in the sand.

[cookiedough]

I'm with Alph on using your cell phone if capable to record the next conversation you have with him and go to HR and your supervisor both.  Sometimes your supervisor doesn't give a crap but HR better.  

If I had a recording of all the harrassment/bullying said in the office where I am,  my boss would've been fired 2-3 years ago no questions asked.

I could've easily had 3 people fired in our office, pushing 4, if I actually gave a crap about my job.

If you don't feel comfy confronting the jerk off, go to your supervisor.  If he/she doesn't take it up with the jerkoff's supervisor then I say go to HR.  If HR doesn't do anything, then I'd quit but not before beating the crap outta that jerkoff in the parking lot after work.  

[weeder]

I use to have a foreman just like this, pushed me to the breaking point then he would lay off for a few days then push me again. After a couple years he pulled me to the side and explained himself. Said he pushed me so hard because he seen what I can do and wanted to know exactly how much I would do for him. Said no one lasted as long as me. After that we were good friends and still talk to him to this day even though I no longer work there. Other reasons pushed me away from the job. I was well on my way to being foreman myself, I actually was in charge of the earth movers and 4 guys that answered to me. Maybe this guy is testing you or maybe he is a complete doucher. Hard to tell

You have a good point Gavin.         
Ive been in this business for 20 years--      Ill check it out with your idea in mind----thanks --mike

[The emperor has no clothes]

Man you guys are making me feel GOOD about my job

[..]

Violence drags you down to his level and then YOU become a workplace violence statistic.

If your HR Dept / upper management doesn't help then you will have a law suit. I'm against haphazard use of the law but if a company isn't willing to protect its workers they deserve all they got coming.

Record every incident no matter how trivial it may seem.

[weeder]

Thanks Britman ;   gonna document and let you know --   gonna go turn in  and  see what happens tomorrow.   

thanks ----  mike

[Crackerborn]

Ditto to Britman's last post . The physical evidence from a cell phone should wake up HR since their only purpose is to protect the company, no matter what they say otherwise.

[donaldcc]

Man you guys are making me feel GOOD about my job

  me too! 

[Smokinjoe-VRCCDS#0005]

 Dear Abby
P.O. Box 69440
Los Angeles, CA 90069

[Gavin_Sons]

I use to have a foreman just like this, pushed me to the breaking point then he would lay off for a few days then push me again. After a couple years he pulled me to the side and explained himself. Said he pushed me so hard because he seen what I can do and wanted to know exactly how much I would do for him. Said no one lasted as long as me. After that we were good friends and still talk to him to this day even though I no longer work there. Other reasons pushed me away from the job. I was well on my way to being foreman myself, I actually was in charge of the earth movers and 4 guys that answered to me. Maybe this guy is testing you or maybe he is a complete doucher. Hard to tell

You have a good point Gavin.         
Ive been in this business for 20 years--      Ill check it out with your idea in mind----thanks --mike

There was a bunch of times I wanted to beat the crap out of my foreman but I was really good friends with the owners son and didnt want to burn bridges there. I probably took more than I should have but it paid off in the end. Had a company truck and a few guys working under me. All at the age of 24, then got married and had a kid on the way so I gave it all up to be home every night with my family. Best decision I have made. Now I work as an electrician building control panels and wiring machines our fabricators build. I have my own room and office and pretty well come and go as I please.