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Author Topic: Bad day????  (Read 870 times)
Varmintmist
Member
*****
Posts: 1228


Western Pa


« on: September 28, 2009, 06:06:00 AM »

I LOVE MY JOB

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.   
Read his letter below.


~Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.   
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say, I aborted the dive.I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't crap for two days because my ass was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'   
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!

Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.~

Regards,
Bob
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However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.
Churchill
roboto65
Member
*****
Posts: 878


Conroe,TX


« Reply #1 on: September 28, 2009, 06:40:03 AM »

 2funny 2funny 2funny
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Allen Rugg                                                       
VRCC #30806
1999 Illusion Blue Valkyrie Interstate
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Jess from VA
Member
*****
Posts: 30440


No VA


« Reply #2 on: September 29, 2009, 05:57:30 AM »

I have a variation on this theme.

A buddy of mine is a boat nut.  One of them is a 32' Wellcraft.  He runs them in the Potomac, and the jelly fish get up to a certain point North but no higher each summer.  We are out with family and spouces up a wide creek in MD.  He is proud of the fact he has rigged a pump to a hull intake, so he can use riverwater to wash his boat.  It does beat having to throw a bucket on a rope over the side 30 times.  He is in his bathing trunks and showing us the hose and good water pressure, and shoots it down his suit, fore and aft.  Moments later he is dancing around in burning pain.  It appears the jellyfish have gotten this far North, his intake is powerful enough to suck up small jelly fish, and the impeller fine-dices them, but diced jelly fish still sting.....maybe worse than non-diced.   In a 'three-stooges' sort of way, the fact he is in pain does not stop us all from laughing unto tears......yeah hosing down you azz and boys with diced jelly fish will get your attention.  Grin
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