Slow in here lately.......

[Pappy!]

Maybe this will help....

Suddenly, a cow runs out onto the road, and a limo driving late at
night, hits it head on, and the car comes to a stop. The woman in
the back seat, in her usual abrasive manner, says to the Chauffeur,
"You get out and check on that poor cow.

So the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is
dead, but it appeared to be very old.

Well, says the woman, "You were driving, so you go and tell the
farmer in that lighted farmhouse over there."

Two hours later the chauffeur returns totally inebriated, a full
belly, his hair ruffled, and a big grin on his face.

"My God, what happened to you?" asks the nasty woman.

The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best
bottle of single malt scotch, the wife gave me a meal fit for a
king, and the daughter made love to me."

"What on earth did you say?" asks the woman.

Well, I just knocked on the door, and when it opened, I said to
them, "I'm Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow."

[OnaWingandaPrayer]

 Good one .

[John Schmidt]

A true life story from a couple weeks ago. I use Publix brand kitty litter as an oil/spill drying agent in the shop, found it works just as good as commercial oil dry and better than the more expensive brands of kitty litter. So, during my grocery shopping spree I picked up a bag for the shop and picked the shortest line with this little chickee running the checkout....jabbering away with the kid bagging and any customer foolish enough to listen. As she ran the bag of litter through she looked at it for a moment and said the obvious...."so, you have a cat?" Me...."uh, no, just me." She wrinkled her face a bit with that deer in the headlight look and said "I don't understand....no cat then why the kitty litter?" I was surprised I kept a straight face so answered with....."well, it's like this....I get busy in the shop and if I feel the urge after too much coffee, I don't like to get all cleaned up just to run into the house." I picked up the litter and said; "this works great."  Chatty Kathy never said another word, the kid bagging was about to burst a blood vessel trying not to laugh. When it came time to leave he asked if I would PLEASE let him help me out....then whispered he needed a break. Soon as we cleared the doors he lost it, then told me she has the reputation of being the dumbest babe in the store. Cute, but dumb.

Tuesday I was shopping again and chose her lane. She looked up and blanched so I simply told her "look, no kitty litter." Didn't say a word, probably a long day for her. 

On a more personal note, went for my annual check up with the urologist last week. The PSA test isn't real definitive of a problem, but if you suddenly have a two point jump it needs checking. So, today I went for a blood draw for a 4K test, extremely accurate test as to whether there's cancer present in the prostate. Won't know anything for a couple weeks, but he did the finger wave and said it was near normal size and it was smooth so not to worry about it. Yeah right! You're testing for cancer and telling me not to worry.  ???

[Thunderbolt]

Thanks for the humor guys.  John I retold your story at a small gathering of folks last night and it was appreciated by all.

[John Schmidt]

Terry, usually I read about such antics but this time it was a first person event. The kid that helped take the groceries out suggested her pony tail must be too tight.    I could see her over the next few days telling all her friends about this weird guy that came through her checkout line.