Alberta Patriot
Member
Posts: 1438
Say What You mean Mean What You Say
Rockyview County, Alberta 2001 Interstate
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« on: November 19, 2018, 07:25:36 PM » |
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Thanks Giving is near...these might help with the overindulgence:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCmSa8v7ahc |
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Say what you mean, Mean what you say.
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MarkT
Member
Posts: 5196
VRCC #437 "Form follows Function"
Colorado Front Range - elevation 2.005 km
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« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2018, 07:41:04 PM » |
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No way. That would ruin all my fun. Don't tell my wife about it.
Didja see this comment from "Juan"?
"I want to harness the smell, not filter it. Each day I eat about a pound of chicken breast, a lot of white tuna along with plenty of carbs. The thick gas I produce is so strong that when I fart on the sofa it still smells an hour later, however, I do prefer using my wife's pillow to trap the odor so she can enjoy also."
He's just a piker. During my prime I've delivered biscuits that were still hanging about the NEXT DAY.
I recall an exercise at Squadron Roll Call at Nellis AFB (Las Vegas); Munitions Maintenance Squadron would form up in the hanger next to the squadron shop in the morning for the day's announcements, load strings etc. when I let fly a specially pungent air biscuit. You know how big an F-111 hanger is? About half the size of a football field. Cleared out the hanger. The only way they knew who the guilty party was because I was doubled over laughing with tears flowing. I got extra duty that day - not sure why; I should have received a medal. I LOVED disrupting military formations. Might be a wonder I was never nailed with an Article 15.
I really wanted to bust up Commander's Call held in the movie theater. (This was on another tour, in Theater, SEA.) Had an external air inlet. I thought about figuring a way with a timer and some device to let one into the vent system right when he was going on with his spiels. He was not a nice man. Never did it though. I did get the commander twice in other ways though. Get me buzzed sometime and I might say what happened...
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« Last Edit: November 19, 2018, 08:00:00 PM by MarkT »
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Alberta Patriot
Member
Posts: 1438
Say What You mean Mean What You Say
Rockyview County, Alberta 2001 Interstate
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« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2018, 07:44:08 PM » |
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Yer an evil man  BTW...Sorry Mason, I feel a bit guilty. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mREi_Bb85Sk |
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« Last Edit: November 19, 2018, 07:51:16 PM by 7th_son »
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Say what you mean, Mean what you say.
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MarkT
Member
Posts: 5196
VRCC #437 "Form follows Function"
Colorado Front Range - elevation 2.005 km
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« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2018, 08:02:13 PM » |
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That's what I thought of when I saw your title. Haven't heard that one referenced in a while. Be careful, we're showing our age. |
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Jess from VA
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« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2018, 08:05:10 PM » |
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I attended a Detroit Tigers game many years ago with a friend (Briggs Stadium, now gone), and a fellow down the row from us (lots of beer and hot dogs) passed such toxic gas, the guys on both sides of him (his buddies) bent over and threw up. The stadium was crowded, but outdoors. This was one of the funniest things I ever experienced in my lifetime.  An art form, if you can pull it off, is to fart in a big DC Federal Bldg elevator going down to the crowded ground floor in an empty car, then quickly walk out when the door opens, but listen to the comments as the crowd jams in. ( OMG, something died in here.) ( Hey, I changed my mind, let me out) Biscuits and gravy breakfast and a half pot of coffee would do it. |
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« Last Edit: November 19, 2018, 08:29:48 PM by Jess from VA »
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John Schmidt
Member
Posts: 15322
a/k/a Stuffy. '99 I/S Valk Roadsmith Trike
De Pere, WI (Green Bay)
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« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2018, 08:30:51 PM » |
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One of my wife's nephews has a number of cherry trees and to keep the birds away he hung a few fart machines in the branches. He can sit on the porch and press a couple buttons and get a number of varied results. Never the same sound so the birds keep flying away. One of my girls gave me one of those toys for Christmas one year and I took it to work. Real fun during an office party.  |
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bassman
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« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2018, 05:31:16 AM » |
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Skinhead
Member
Posts: 8742
J. A. B. O. A.
Troy, MI
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« Reply #7 on: November 20, 2018, 06:18:27 AM » |
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 Troy, MI |
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old2soon
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« Reply #8 on: November 20, 2018, 06:58:46 AM » |
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1964 I was stationed at N A S North Island. Falstaff beer hard boiled eggs hot dogs with sour kraut. A closed car at high noon on the ramp. 6 or 7 people that drank the same stuff and ate the same stuff. 5 bucks a head to the others from whoever gives up first. I NEVER paid. RIDE SAFE.
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Today is the tommorow you worried about yesterday. If at first you don't succeed screw it-save it for nite check. 1964 1968 U S Navy. Two cruises off Nam.
VRCCDS0240 2012 GL1800 Gold Wing Motor Trike conversion
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98valk
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« Reply #9 on: November 20, 2018, 08:01:50 AM » |
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problem is poor digestion mainly low stomach acid production. easy fix, take Betaine HCL https://www.dietvsdisease.org/betaine-hcl/after age of forty production starts to drop off. Real full complete Salt helps to stimulate production. |
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1998 Std/Tourer, 2007 DR200SE, 1981 CB900C 10speed
1973 Duster 340 4-speed rare A/C, 2001 F250 4x4 7.3L, 6sp
"Our Constitution was made only for a Moral and Religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the goverment of any other."
John Adams 10/11/1798
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cookiedough
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« Reply #10 on: November 21, 2018, 03:48:51 AM » |
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My farts do not normally smell too bad, but how come UNDER the covers in bed if lifting the sheets up letting the AIR out they always smell worse? I still remember once in high school at a night basketball game I let one out LOUD and it literally rattled the wooden bleaches and everyone nearby knew I did it! I claimed it telling others to TOP that one!!!  On that one I never knew I needed to pass gas, but it just came out all of a sudden for some reason, not sure why? |
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3fan4life
Member
Posts: 6997
Any day that you ride is a good day!
Moneta, VA
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« Reply #11 on: November 21, 2018, 04:35:24 AM » |
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The absolute worst farts are:  Kimchi farts. When I was stationed at Ft Lewis, WA one of our Sgt's would make a batch before we had any big field problems. After a few days none of us could stand each other. |
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1 Corinthians 1:18  |
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Jess from VA
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« Reply #12 on: November 21, 2018, 05:50:17 AM » |
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If you're sitting in a crowded enclosed area with your wife (like a theater) and have to let a big one go, you can either do the old let it out slowly a bit at a time carefully to not make any noise or much smell (which takes skill), or you can rip that bad boy out all at once then turn to her and say loudly, honey how could you (which takes guts)?
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3fan4life
Member
Posts: 6997
Any day that you ride is a good day!
Moneta, VA
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« Reply #13 on: November 21, 2018, 05:58:19 AM » |
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If you're sitting in a crowded enclosed area with your wife (like a theater) and have to let a big one go, you can either do the old let it out slowly a bit at a time carefully to not make any noise or much smell (which takes skill), or you can rip that bad boy out all at once then turn to her and say loudly, honey how could you (which takes guts)?
I've gotten pretty good at dropping one in a store and walking away and then watching the looks on people's faces as they walk by the wife and "Blame" her for it. |
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1 Corinthians 1:18 |
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2018, 07:25:03 AM » |
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here I thought by the title it was about a song. |
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 VRCC # 24157 |
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« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2018, 08:18:40 AM » |
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A long time ago I was about to take care of some seated business in a stall at Chicago's Ohare. After a long windy, fairly high pitched release a guy taking care of some business whilst standing asked in a loud voice if I "could play Dixie with that".  I blame the vent on having eaten some Chicago deep dish pizza the night before. |
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2KVISRiderDan
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« Reply #16 on: November 21, 2018, 04:59:42 PM » |
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Sounds to me like you guys are working on a new contest at Inzane XIX! |
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2005 Yamaha Midnight Star SOLD
1997 Yamaha Royal Star Std SOLD
2000 Blue & Grey Interstate
2001 Black & Champagne Solo Interstate
1998 Blue & Cream Valkyrie Standard Roadsmith Trike
1997 Black Standard
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