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The emperor has no clothes
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« on: December 09, 2018, 05:37:21 PM » |
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I'm the oldest sibling. 2 younger brothers and a baby sister. As long as I can remember I've been the protector, the stable older brother. It was instilled in me from my Dad at the early age of 4 or 5. Wouldn't know any other way, it's just who I am. And I've always taken pride in it. But something changed a week or so back. I'm not able to take care of some things.
I saw my sister this summer when we visited Alaska. She had lost some weight and looked a little harrowed. But, I didn't think much of it. I'm sure I don't look as good as I did before either. We had a good time and enjoyed spending what time we could together. Fast forward to last week......she was diagnosed with bladder cancer. My Dad also had it, but he survived it. He died from congestive heart failure unrelated to his cancer.
My sister has been undergoing all sorts of invasive crap that they do to people with this. They had to unblock her kidney before they could proceed with a biopsy and a course of action. Somewhere in all this they came up with some erroneous test result that said she was pregnant. Then their protocol was to do some inside sonogram to make sure she wasn't pregnant. She is 54 years old, has had 5 children. She knows when she is pregnant. But doctors being doctors they did testing for 2 days to determine she wasn't pregnant.
Sadly, in the course of just this one week the cancer has pressed up on her lung enough to require her to be on oxygen now. She is scared. I am scared. Being the older brother has always been good for me. Always in control, always making decisions, always being looked up to. Now I have no answers.
After they start the chemo, I hope things will get better soon.
My telling of this story is only my way of expressing my frustration. I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.
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Pete
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« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2018, 05:47:07 PM » |
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Sorry to hear, best wishes to all for a positive outcome and recovery.
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3fan4life
Member
Posts: 6997
Any day that you ride is a good day!
Moneta, VA
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« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2018, 06:13:09 PM » |
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We will be praying for her full and speedy recovery.
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1 Corinthians 1:18  |
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da prez
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« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2018, 06:22:16 PM » |
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Best wishes.  Just be a listener if she needs it.  Some times it is needed more than advise. da prez |
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Bighead
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« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2018, 06:32:53 PM » |
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Sorry to hear this Rob......if as yoy say a tumor is pressing on her lung that is one massive tumor.....a praye rwill be said for you little Sis.
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1997 Bumble Bee
1999 Interstate (sold)
2016 Wing
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NewValker
Member
Posts: 1390
VRCC# 36356
Oxford, MA
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« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2018, 06:39:44 PM » |
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All good thoughts & prayers to your sister and family.
Craig
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Turns out not what or where, but who you ride with really matters  |
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Bigwolf
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« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2018, 07:49:55 PM » |
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Rob,
I wish for the very best speedy and complete recovery for your sister.
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NautiBrit
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« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2018, 07:52:09 PM » |
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Rob, this is one of those times in life that your family turns to you because they know that you have the strength and compassion to make the right decisions. You will see this through, you're just that kind of a guy. Liz and I have you all in our prayers.
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George
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sandy
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« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2018, 08:22:17 PM » |
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So sorry to hear this Rob.
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DDT (12)
Member
Posts: 4120
Sometimes ya just gotta go...
Winter Springs, FL - Occasionally...
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« Reply #9 on: December 10, 2018, 03:19:09 AM » |
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Rob,
We, too, feel powerless to help you and her... We all wish it could be otherwise, but... I appreciate your choosing 'our place' to vent your feelings... Know that we're all pulling for you and her, as well as all in your family... The same way you said to me the other day, "Nothing profound comes to mind", I now find myself in the same place. However, when any of us suffer, we all share the sadness and frustration of helplessness... Sincere, heartfelt prayers and best wishes from the road to all of you.
DDT
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Don't just dream it... LIVE IT!
See ya down the road...
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Dave Ritsema
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« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2018, 03:33:45 AM » |
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Rob,
I am sorry to hear of this. Both of you will be in my prayers.
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VRCC 2879
Lake City Honda Warsaw IN
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hubcapsc
Member
Posts: 16799
upstate
South Carolina
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« Reply #11 on: December 10, 2018, 03:42:16 AM » |
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Now I have no answers.
There's no answers for some burdens, it's no failure of yours... she's
fighting and we'll be praying...
-Mike
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #12 on: December 10, 2018, 03:43:21 AM » |
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Thank you to ALL ! I was feeling pretty down after talking to her last night and needed to express myself. The kindness of my friends here is appreciated more than you know. Having slept on the matter I still realize I can't do much about it. But I'm going to be the most supportive, positive big brother I can be. It's in the hands now above my pay grade, may the Lord see fit to pull her thru this.
THANK YOU ALL
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DGS65
Member
Posts: 440
Time enjoy wasted is not wasted time
Nanuet, NY
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« Reply #13 on: December 10, 2018, 04:13:33 AM » |
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Cancer it not something you can protect your family from but I'm sure your father would be proud that you have taken the job as protector so seriously. As sad as he might be about your sister I'm sure he is smiling down on you now!
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Hook#3287
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« Reply #14 on: December 10, 2018, 05:28:50 AM » |
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Sorry to read this Rob.
But, my Mom went though bladder cancer, and like your Dad, pulled through it.
All you can do is be there for her(and her family) and give advise when asked.
Best of luck, buddy.
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #15 on: December 10, 2018, 05:35:49 AM » |
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Sorry to read this Rob.
But, my Mom went though bladder cancer, and like your Dad, pulled through it.
All you can do is be there for her(and her family) and give advise when asked.
Best of luck, buddy.
Thanks, Bill  |
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Wizzard
Member
Posts: 4043
Bald River Falls
Valparaiso IN
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« Reply #16 on: December 10, 2018, 05:44:25 AM » |
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Rob, really sorry to hear this. I too am the oldest and get frustrated when I cannot fix things. I have always been a fixer but some things you just cannot fix. That is when I learned to not always trust myself and lean on God. Only he can fix this. You and your sister are in my prayers. Hope you feel God's nearness through all of this.
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 VRCC # 24157 |
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old2soon
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« Reply #17 on: December 10, 2018, 05:52:56 AM » |
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cancer SUX. Lost my Baby Sister couple years ago to heart problem. There is STILL an empty spot due to her unexpected early passing.  And like you I am the oldest from Mom and Dads union-both were married before. Every year bout this time-Thanksgiving thru New Year-the Fact she is No longer around hits a bit harder. Just do the best you Know How Rob. Prayers up for yer Sisiter from the Missouri Ozarks. RIDE SAFE. |
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Today is the tommorow you worried about yesterday. If at first you don't succeed screw it-save it for nite check. 1964 1968 U S Navy. Two cruises off Nam.
VRCCDS0240 2012 GL1800 Gold Wing Motor Trike conversion
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Ken aka Oil Burner
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« Reply #18 on: December 10, 2018, 07:37:55 AM » |
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Sorry to hear about your sister. As was already said, no matter how good of a protective brother you are, there is nothing you could or can do, other than be the most positive, loving brother you can be.
Prayers for your sister, as well as you and all of your families.
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0leman
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« Reply #19 on: December 10, 2018, 07:43:51 AM » |
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Rob, this too will pass. Keep strong for her and the rest of the family. Some of this is not in the hands of the doc's, some is.
My DW went thru some of this nearly 20 years ago. She had a small white spot in her under her tongue, one doc we went to said it wasn't anything to worry about. 2 months later went to another doc, he did a biopsy. My DW was in surgery a week later. Doc who did the surgery said that if she had waited much longer it would have been over.
You are a number of miles/hours away. It will be hard being the strong/older brother. It was all I could do to keep strong and I was there.
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2006 Shadow Spirit 1100 gone but not forgotten
1999 Valkryie I/S Green/Silver
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Willow
Administrator
Member
Posts: 16758
Excessive comfort breeds weakness. PttP
Olathe, KS
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« Reply #20 on: December 10, 2018, 08:57:58 AM » |
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... But I'm going to be the most supportive, positive big brother I can be. It's in the hands now above my pay grade, may the Lord see fit to pull her thru this. You have chosen to do the best that you possibly could. I'm hoping this turns out to be a learning experience in your sister's and your lives but nothing more. |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #21 on: December 10, 2018, 09:15:33 AM » |
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... But I'm going to be the most supportive, positive big brother I can be. It's in the hands now above my pay grade, may the Lord see fit to pull her thru this. You have chosen to do the best that you possibly could. I'm hoping this turns out to be a learning experience in your sister's and your lives but nothing more. Thank you |
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« Reply #22 on: December 10, 2018, 10:15:16 AM » |
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Black Dog
Member
Posts: 2607
VRCC # 7111
Merton Wisconsin 53029
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« Reply #24 on: December 11, 2018, 07:56:13 AM » |
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Sorry to hear Rob... Prayers from WI.
Black Dog
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Just when the highway straightened out for a mile And I was thinkin' I'd just cruise for a while A fork in the road brought a new episode Don't you know... Conform, go crazy, or ride a motorcycle...  |
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3fan4life
Member
Posts: 6997
Any day that you ride is a good day!
Moneta, VA
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« Reply #25 on: December 11, 2018, 09:23:22 AM » |
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1 Corinthians 1:18 |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #26 on: December 11, 2018, 10:02:18 AM » |
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Thanks I was looking at some pics and came across that one. Great memories. I was 14 and had just got my first bike after saving paper route money for a year. I kind of cringe now seeing her without a helmet though. Wasn't allowed to ride with her out on the street. So we would go around and around our house. We just had it built and didn't have a yard yet, just gravel. |
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Skinhead
Member
Posts: 8742
J. A. B. O. A.
Troy, MI
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« Reply #27 on: December 11, 2018, 01:42:44 PM » |
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Meat,
Wishing your sister the best possible outcome. Cancer sucks, and it is getting to the point that I can't remember the names of all those afflicted, but I pray for the group, God knows who they are.
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 Troy, MI |
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Leathel
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« Reply #28 on: December 11, 2018, 02:34:43 PM » |
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Damn, that is sad news and news, as a big brother must be hard to get your head around, I hope things progress well My little sister has had issues and there is nothing you can do, makes it harder when they are further away..... all the best wishes for you and her  |
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MarkT
Member
Posts: 5196
VRCC #437 "Form follows Function"
Colorado Front Range - elevation 2.005 km
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« Reply #29 on: December 11, 2018, 03:54:58 PM » |
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Sorry to hear this Rob. I believe you can feel free to vent your stress and such here with your Valk family. I and others are here to listen and try to share strength. After all, all of us will have such issues as we and our blood families age. Political differences shrink in comparison.
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cookiedough
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« Reply #30 on: December 11, 2018, 04:30:22 PM » |
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maybe tell her to consider getting 2nd and 3rd drs. opinions elsewhere on best solution? To think she is pregnant in her 50's makes me question their smartness? To bad you are not closer to offer more hands on help even if today's technologies makes it much easier to communicate back and forth.
Hope all works out well for you.
Lady at work thought she might have some type of colon cancer but after the painful inflammation went down with anti-inflammatory meds and did colonscopy, the bulges were not cancer and all was well for now. Get it checked out ASAP the sooner the better.
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baird4444
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« Reply #31 on: December 12, 2018, 02:41:47 AM » |
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you are doing all you can , just be there for her......
sending warm thoughts to your Family - Mike
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Riding a motorcycle isn't like driving a car....
- ya gotta be SOBER!
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"You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning!! "
-Cody Baird
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Valkorado
Member
Posts: 10514
VRCC DS 0242
Gunnison, Colorado (7,703') Here there be twisties.
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« Reply #32 on: December 12, 2018, 06:28:48 AM » |
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Tough stuff. Prayers out to your sister, her loved ones and your family for comfort and strength.
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Have you ever noticed when you're feeling really good, there's always a pigeon that'll come sh!t on your hood? - John Prine 97 Tourer "Silver Bullet" 01 Interstate "Ruby"  |
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RainMaker
Member
Posts: 6626
VRCC#24130 - VRCCDS#0117 - IBA#48473
Arlington, TX
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« Reply #33 on: December 13, 2018, 07:06:10 AM » |
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Rob - so sorry to read about your sister's health issues. As a big brother (I am one) the best thing I can offer is to be there for her to talk to, in person or by phone, so that she can feel safe in telling you her fears, feelings and vent her anger with her big brother who she knows loves her. Sometimes, just having someone to listen is the best thing you can be. That and all the hugs you can muster.
Pray a lot for your sister, for the doctors treating her and for the healing hand of the holy spirit. She is in Margaret's and my prayers.
Mark
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 2005 BMW R1200 GS 2000 Valkyrie Interstate 1998 Valkyrie Tourer 1981 GL1100I GoldWing 1972 CB500K1 |
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larue
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« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2018, 07:32:00 AM » |
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So sorry to hear what your sister is going through, hope she pulled through it . My Thoughts and prayers your way Rob. Hang in there brother
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #35 on: December 14, 2018, 09:23:18 AM » |
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Thanks guys. I haven’t talked to her in a couple days. I think it’s all new and overwhelming for her right now. I’ll probably call her tonight.
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Pappy!
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« Reply #36 on: December 14, 2018, 03:35:15 PM » |
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I know what you mean by the powerless comment. I am still living it and trust me there is nothing that you can do except look up and ask for a bit of help.
Stay strong for your sis, am sure she is depending on your steadfast big brother strength to get through this.
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Oss
Member
Posts: 12762
The lower Hudson Valley
Ossining NY Chapter Rep VRCCDS0141
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« Reply #37 on: December 15, 2018, 07:25:49 AM » |
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Nothing to say to you except we are alll pulling.for.your sister
As an older brother I appreciate your efforts and grit and pretty sure it runs in the family
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« Last Edit: December 15, 2018, 09:57:59 AM by Oss »
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If you don't know where your going any road will take you there
George Harrison
When you come to the fork in the road, take it
Yogi Berra (Don't send it to me C.O.D.)
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HayHauler
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« Reply #38 on: December 16, 2018, 09:42:30 AM » |
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So sorry to hear this Meat. Praying for your sister's recovery. That is a very cool picture of you both. Hay  Jimmyt |
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The emperor has no clothes
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« Reply #39 on: December 16, 2018, 01:06:46 PM » |
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So sorry to hear this Meat. Praying for your sister's recovery. That is a very cool picture of you both. Hay Jimmyt Thanks Jimmy I’m afraid things have taken a turn for the worse. I’m flying up in a few hours. Thank you ALL for your kind thoughts. |
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