A benefit of having moved to the country

[..]

It's cool and damp outside. Trees are dripping from the vestiges of overnight rain.

The low cloud is misting the tops of the mountains.

Cold nitrile gloves pulled tight.

Lying on a foam pad on a cold concrete garage floor listening to the initial waterfall and whistle of released coolant.

The final dribble becomes rhythmic, sibilant drops which trigger the quick response of GOTTA PEE!

No need to go inside and having to remove work / yard shoes.

5 steps away from the garage and I am adding to the local water table.

No neighbors able to see the trail of steam rising into the cool mountain air. 

[Detn8er]

Me and Arlo (the good dog) do this all the time. Nothing like peein' outside with my pal.   I think I have become the creepy old guy with the dog around here.

https://youtu.be/lv8e6FL5MWM

[Jess Tolbirt]

so you two are the reason my water has been tasting a little salty here lately

[Davemn]

Peeing outside, especially in winter, is one of the greatest benefits of being a man. Is that creepy?

[..]

Peeing outside, especially in winter, is one of the greatest benefits of being a man. Is that creepy?

Nope, it's a much needed connection with nature. 

[signart]

Like I tell my youngest grandson: "Make it go way out there!"

[Serk]

When we escape from the city and build elsewhere, my 3 requirements are I be able to step out my back door and take a leak, shoot a gun and pop fireworks...

[FryeVRCCDS0067]

Peeing in the yard while looking up at the stars and moon is a mystical experience to be sure.

[DIGGER]

Just a word of advice..... dont pee on a gravel driveway.....it will scratch you up.

[signart]

Just a word of advice..... dont pee on a gravel driveway.....it will scratch you up.

...or an electric fence

[Jess from VA]

Like I tell my youngest grandson: "Make it go way out there!"

I've enjoyed outdoor peeing all my life.

As I've gotten older, what I really enjoy is being able to pee somewhere/anywhere very soon after my body tells me it want's to.

And also with age, the way out there has diminished somewhat in distance and power.  (now, the goal is to miss the shoes if at all possible)

And I can't wait for power to build up too long anyway.  

[Davemn]

What used to be a 30 second pee is now about a minute and a half.

[signart]

Like I tell my youngest grandson: "Make it go way out there!"

I've enjoyed outdoor peeing all my life.

As I've gotten older, what I really enjoy is being able to pee somewhere/anywhere very soon after my body tells me it want's to.

And also with age, the way out there has diminished somewhat in distance and power.  (now, the goal is to miss the shoes if at all possible)

And I can't wait for power to build up too long anyway.  

Believe me, I know what you mean. What's happening now with more frequency is the urge to go and can't empty. I just stand back in amazement as the little feller lets it fly without inhibition.

[scooperhsd]

In some matters, it definately sucks getting older.....

[Jess from VA]

In some matters, it definitely sucks getting older.....

It wasn't all that easy to get sucked when I was younger either.  


The one big positive that comes to mind about my aging (and retirement) is, unlike most of my working life, I can sleep like a world champion.  (except for the peeing once or twice, but I drop right off again)

I mean, I sleep the hours away without a care or stress or worry in the world.  

I worry sometimes I may not wake up some morning (or from an afternoon nap), but I don't think karma is going to let me off that easy.  

-----------------------------

What's happening now with more frequency is the urge to go and can't empty.

What helps with that is sitting down to pee.  And complete relaxation (and no hurry).  

But that's only at home.  I'm never going to sit on public facilities.  God knows what's been on there (or is still on there).  

[FryeVRCCDS0067]

Used to shake it, now I wring it out. 

[Gavin_Sons]

Used to shake it, now I wring it out. 

  I can't wait to get old 

[cookiedough]

Just a word of advice..... dont pee on a gravel driveway.....it will scratch you up.

...or an electric fence

or against a strong 30 mph headwind...   

[cookiedough]

Like I tell my youngest grandson: "Make it go way out there!"

And also with age, the way out there has diminished somewhat in distance and power.  (now, the goal is to miss the shoes if at all possible)

or the goal for me sometimes is to not dribble on my pants which I have done several times.  Sucks if at work and nothing worse than WET pants in the crotch area, been there, done that, sort of embarrassing hoping NO ONE notices....   

[MarkT]

Just a word of advice..... dont pee on a gravel driveway.....it will scratch you up.

...or an electric fence

or against a strong 30 mph headwind...  

Don't turn your back to a high wind and whiz either.  Turn sideways. When I was 18 I was rotary hoeing milo for my boss (as a farm hand) in KS summer of 69.  To keep the topsoil from blowing away in a 50mph dust storm.  You couldn't see more than 20 feet. Had to whiz, hopped off the tractor and put my back to the wind.  The piss all swirled in a cloud in front of me then WHOOSHED back into my face.  Came in later from the field and my face was covered in mud where the dust stuck to the piss.  My boss could only laugh and make fun of me.  Only later did I realize how he knew what happened.

The wife thinks I'm sick to whiz out by the back door when the jon is only 10 ft further away from the den than going outside.  "Why do you do that?" She likes to collect pics she takes of me whizzing outside, like on road trips.  "Because I can.  And I'm marking it MINE."  Pretty sure she just wishes she could do that too.

[Hook#3287]

I grew up in a house with 7 siblings, 5 of which were of the female type.

One bathroom.

My brothers and I learned early, the advantage of going outside.

Whenever the bathroom was occupied and we had to go, the  chorus would ring out  " go outside "

Kinda stuck.

I'd rather go off the deck, than walk to the toilet.

[Rams]

TMI!

I've learned way more information about certain individuals than I ever wanted to know.  

With that said....  

Rams. 

[Hooter]

At least it hasn't somehow turned into a political post....yet!   You know, Democrats can piss farther than Republicans, or vise versa. Stuff like that. Nu:evil:  But like you said, too much information here.

[The emperor has no clothes]

I grew up in a house with 7 siblings, 5 of which were of the female type.

One bathroom.

My brothers and I learned early, the advantage of going outside.

Whenever the bathroom was occupied and we had to go, the  chorus would ring out  " go outside "

Kinda stuck.

I'd rather go off the deck, than walk to the toilet.

"the chorus"  Bill, I can't imagine growing up with that many sisters. We had one bathroom most of my life also. But with 2 brothers and a little sister it wasn't so bad at all.

As to peeing stories. The only thing that sticks in my mind was being careful when out snowmachining in Alaska. One would have so many layers of underwear, longjohns, pants, snowsuit, it was easy to get "Willy" caught in one of the zippers if you weren't careful. It may be cold and he is acting like a turtle, but there is nothing to wake him up like being snared in a trap. 

[f6john]

I’m having to give all that up moving from the country to a subdivision. The sacrifices I’ve had to make for my grandsons!!!

[cookiedough]

I’m having to give all that up moving from the country to a subdivision. The sacrifices I’ve had to make for my grandsons!!!

I live in a subdivision not the country but in a small town of 1100 people, but my neighbors on either side of me are rarely home and my backyard is a farmers field where I go on occasion if outside.  The nearest sight seeing (besides my 2 next door neighbors) is well over 100 yards away being the main hwy and unless using high powered binoculars,  they will not know what I am doing in the cornfield as they are driving by. 

I still remember when my old neighbors back in the 1990s had 2 young kids next door.  Nearly every single week if outside they would be running around in either my or their backyard in nothing but their underwear (sometimes even naked) and peeing all the time, was amusing...  

[old2soon]

       As a former over the road 18 wheeler jockey I am well versed and practiced in peeing on or near the large tires of a big truck. Both ex Wives and my Daughters-all 3-have made comments at one time or another when I stopped big truck in the middle of nowhere for bladder relief. When I had the Sons with me-all 3 at one time or another individually-they were directed to the trailer as it were the longer walk. And I am in the process of killing a tree at my place in Missouri. RIDE SAFE.

[semo97]

Been in the country most all my life and it is just second nature to pee outside. Going out on the porch at night barefoot or flip flops in copperhead country without checking things out with a light first can be a mistake. Standing there in the dark and draining the plumping and that buzzing sound begins, you may mark your territory with some solids. Is he in the front, did I step over him. I have been chilled numerous times in everyday chores, some very close face to face encounters. My kids started horse back at 3. First thing they were taught was stand up in the saddle and peeing off the horse.

[0leman]

Spent 30 some odd years as a field forester.  Lots of taking a leaks outside.  Just stop what one was doing and maybe take a step or two away, the let fly.  It was a bit of a change the last 10 years as we started getting more of the female types going out with us.  Then there was a few more steps taken. 

Wife doesn't like it when I take a leak out side around the house.  One likes to keep the other one happy.

As far as pissing in the wind, try to take one in a 60 mph straight wind, hard to take one rocking back and forth.   

[MarkT]

One brother is a yahtsman on Lake Michigan - sailboats.  Men are expected to whiz off the back of the boat - the head is for the women.  Lotsa fun trying to get it going with an enlarged prostate and women right behind you watching you stand there while the boat heaves on the waves and you don't want to have to grab a "sheet" so as not to fall over or spray on the boat or yourself.  I'm pretty sure he does it to show off even when he doesn't really need to go.  I'm inclined to pass on the beer and whiz somewhere before castoff.

[Jess from VA]

One brother is a yahtsman on Lake Michigan - sailboats.  Men are expected to whiz off the back of the boat - the head is for the women.  Lotsa fun trying to get it going with an enlarged prostate and women right behind you watching you stand there while the boat heaves on the waves and you don't want to have to grab a "sheet" so as not to fall over or spray on the boat or yourself.  I'm pretty sure he does it to show off even when he doesn't really need to go.  I'm inclined to pass on the beer and whiz somewhere before castoff.

Grew up sailing on Lake Erie, and exactly the same thing.  

Pee to the leeward, not windward.

You never foul the port-a-head if at all possible..... it stinks down there if you do.

The gals peed in a bucket below, then that was pitched overboard.

I've peed off the stern in 8-10 foot rolling breakers, with the dropping elevator sensation.  That's usually in a storm and rain, so you're soaked anyway.

It can get pretty hairy out there.  Been away from this since the 70's, and I miss it.


I had never been sea sick in my life (before or since), but if you go below in heavy seas it takes no time at all to get terribly nauseous and blow every liquid you have in you.  (And, I remember yelling up to mom on deck asking what kind of sandwiches she made, and when she replied liverwurst, I started puking again just from the thought of them.)  So you stay up on deck in the worst weather.  And learn to pee outboard with no hands, as you need to use them both to hold on.

Or you just go in your pants.  It's not like anyone would notice. And the warmth is kind of comforting anyway.

[Serk]

When I was working on an offshore oil rig off the coast of Africa learned of a funny incident. The specific rig I was on had two "daughter" rigs near it that were mostly automated, had no human facilities on-board.

The C-suite folks of the company thought it'd be neat to put lots of real time web came all over these rigs to show off their operations.

One day they were showing off the high definition real time feed to a room full of high end executives, when one of the workers who was spending a few hours on this rig needed to go.

So, he's 100 miles off the coast of Africa, no one around, he drops trou and does his thing off the side of the rig into the ocean.

The C-level executives were FURIOUS! HOW DATE HE! There were WOMEN in the room watching that!!!!!


Someone had the job of asking the occupants of the ivory tower just what the man was supposed to do. Did they want to pay to put bathrooms on a rig that wasn't manned all the time?

[T.P.]

Peeing outside, especially in winter, is one of the greatest benefits of being a man.

HEY DAVE, Can you pee your name in the snow ?

   T.P.

[Jack B]

I also don't have any neighbors but it seems like every time I pee outside my wife is looking at me thur the window, smiling.

[Willow]

I'm moderately amused by this thread.  My wife regularly asks me, "Why do you have to say piss?  Why can't you say pee?"

"Sweetheart," I reply, "What do you think P stands for?"

[Davemn]

Peeing outside, especially in winter, is one of the greatest benefits of being a man.

HEY DAVE, Can you pee your name in the snow ?

   T.P.

Sure! And my last name is Finkelhopperstein!

[_Sheffjs_]

One does not have to live in the country, no one behind me just brush and strategically placed bushes take care of the rest.  Hey when you are working on a project, ain’t no one got time for that. 

[Rams]

Wife doesn't like it when I take a leak out side around the house.  One likes to keep the other one happy.

This, I do not understand.    I started to install a urinal in my shop, the spousal unit threw a fit.   So, I didn't.   Now when I'm out there, normally my hands are dirty/oily/greasy and to come into the house is a pain for such a simple task.  My goodness, we surely don't want dirty hands on the door knobs....

So, now I just go around behind the shop and accomplish the task.   Have been caught back there a few times.   The back of my shop is secluded, have been caught a few times by the spousal unit and always get the   and   reaction.    

I served with many women in the military in aviation units, they did their thing out in the woods just like the boys did.

Rams

[Jess from VA]

Just for the record, there's a whole pile of benefits to moving to the country besides outdoor urination.

And besides, you can urinate outdoors in suburbia or even the city, it just takes a bit more creativity.  Except one has to watch for cameras more than ever now.  Not that I'm thinking they're going to fire up the troops and send them code 3 (sirens blazing) out to arrest you for it.  

Probably my most interesting outdoor urination story is up on the roofs, ore docks and high structural in the steel mill.  If you were caught climbing down to use a restroom (or porta john) at the mill, that would be your last day on the job.  So you just let it happen wherever you were working.  2-300 feet later, it's just a fine mist anyway.  Though with a bit of planning and adjustment for windage, you could make guys on the ground look up to see if it was starting to rain.  

[NewValker]

My youngest grandson is always “helping” me with outdoor tasks.
He was 3 and we were stacking firewood, I had to pee so I stepped behind a tree & let it go.
He sees me and asks if he can pee outside too?
I tell him that’s the best part of being a boy.
Then he asks me if he can pee on the rocks. (Stonewall)
Sure I tell him. I look over a minute later and his pants are around his ankles, he’s pissing on the biggest rock in the wall, swinging back and forth singing quietly “painting the rock,painting the rock”.
He’s 10 now, still pees outside every chance he gets, much to my daughters amusement, and still sings “painting the rock”
Craig