Why teachers drink

Subject: Why Teachers drink........

THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS WERE SET IN LAST YEAR'S GED EXAMINATION . THESE ARE
GENUINE ANSWERS (FROM 16 YEAR OLDS)

Q. Name the four seasons
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. How is dew formed ?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on ?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections ?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids ?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs .. (Shoot yourself now,
there is little hope)

Q... What happens to your body as you age ?
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty ?
A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So
true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A.. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination ?
A... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour ?
A.. Keep it in the cow.
(Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen) ?
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the
heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels:
A,E,I,O,U

Q. What is the fibula ?
A.. A small lie.

Q. What does 'varicose' mean ?
A.. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control ?
A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome .

Q. What is a seizure ?
A.. A Roman Emperor.
(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness ?
A. When you are sick at the airport.
( Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word ' benign' mean ?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight .
(brilliant) .
Q. What is a turbine ?
A.. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy
reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.