Roughing It and Other Nonsense...

Roughing It and Other Nonsense…

Let me say at the outset that I do not consider myself to be one of those people prone to belly-ache, whine, bitch, or complain… at least not much. But… Yes, I was an enlisted person in the military once upon a time… and, well, that is expected there… but even then I wasn’t much good at it. Nope, it just ain’t in me, I reckon… for the most part, that is…

That’s not to say I’m not capable of spewing out a string of naughty superlatives, vulgar adjectives, and other censorable descriptors of a rather colorful nature when things really get under my skin… Like now… What makes matters even more incredulous: I deliberately chose to be here in this predicament… even signed up for a couple of extra days! I guess self-inflicted wounds really are often the most painful.

We all, myself included, have become such pampered, spoiled creatures, and we take so incredibly much for granted… it’s probably downright sinful. (You’ll need to consult with your own personal guide to all things spiritual for a more definitive opinion on this…)

Think about it… My paternal grandfather (born in 1882) saw his first automobile when he was an adult. Heck, I was in junior high school, myself, before I ever personally experienced the miracle of air conditioning (our church built a new, modern sanctuary). However, my grandkids were barely out of diapers before they were playing around with computers… Yes, mankind has indeed travelled far during the last century and a half; yet, gazing into the future, it appears as though things will actually be accelerating!

By comparison to the world I’ve grown accustomed to, I’m presently roughing-it in a seemingly most primitive setting. By comparison to all of those who have preceded me, however, I’m just another thumb-sucking member of the affluenza generation. OK, so I’m writing this to occupy some time and distract myself from all of the ‘hardship’ to which I’ve subjected yours truly. Maybe I should back up a tad…

I departed the ‘Fall Color Ride’ in Robbinsville, NC, with Napper following close behind… It was easier to lead her part of the way home than it was to attempt to list all of the right and left turns, plus I didn’t know all of the fixed features and landmarks to describe at those turns anyway…

Road numbers and signs along with directions like east and west are meaningless to her. To her, a map is nothing more than a picture of varicose veins. Once we reached a place where I thought she could handle it, we said our good-byes, she mustered the courage to come out of her ‘happy place’, and I began to backtrack. She, on the other hand, went forth towards her own next adventure…

I was wanting to wander around some more, and I was in need of a little decompression time anyway… I had already begun to feel a wee twinge of ‘group fatigue’ beginning to creep up on me.

OK, and I simply didn’t want to return to that ominous, onerous recliner I knew was waiting patiently for me… seductively calling to me just like the sirens had tempted Odysseus. Oh, that diabolical device, that tyrannical would-be master, that sinister, sadistic oppressor of unwary old guys that awaits even now to lure me onto the rocky shoals of sedentary life and eventual decline!

Nope, I was of a mind to ride some more, contemplate a bunch of meaningful stuff and other lofty pursuits, not to mention I just like being out and about… just ALI and me doing what we do… That’s when inspiration struck like a meteor right out of the blue and took command of the helm. (At the moment I’m really starting to wonder if it might have been just another brain fart instead.)

It all seemed so logical… I had no plan, after all (what’s new, huh?), so there was nothing driving me forward or stimulating me to go one way or the other… Within the span of a few minutes I had just been considering going to the east coast of North Carolina, riding out to Arizona, perhaps Missouri instead, venturing up to West Virginia… or returning home. Yep, my trip planning is just like that usually… I had completely boxed the compass with possibilities… and I still didn’t have a single clue.

As ALI carried me calmly and casually along our route in the interim, I then began to rationalize… You know, what we do when we delude ourselves into believing we’re seriously engaging in objective thought, but actually we’re just allowing our subconscious desires to speak to us… Anyway, right about then an old saying popped into my cranial vacuum… “If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging…” (Apparently The Donald never heard that one… but I digress…)

Yeah, how about a cabin while I regroup, I wondered…? Now there was a downright upright notion, if I’ve ever had one slip into my thoughts! A broad grin spread across my face! I’ve done this many times over the years, and it has proven to be a reliable way to occupy my time and keep me away from that sinister geriatric trap waiting to snare me… that evil recliner… A way to stop digging! Soon enough another notion will take hold, I reasoned, and ALI will pleasantly transport me to my next conundrum…

But what cabin? Where? Hey, we haven’t been to Fontana Village in at least a decade, what about that? Hmmmm, another brilliant idea! Geeze Luiz, those great ideas were really coming in rapid succession now! I truly must be onto something here!!! Providence is surely leading me; I can just feel it…

We had a really pleasant ride across the Cherohala Parkway on our way back to Robbinsville to make the turn towards the Dragon, then down to Fontana. The Fall colors were nearing peak, the roads weren’t too crowded, the sky was that incredible, deep, brilliant shade of blue that it is this time of year… Man, we were on a major-league roll here… This would turn out to be the last ride of any consequence, mournfully, for a couple of days…

I wheeled into the place where we’d signed up for a cabin the last time I was there… “Oh, that’s been moved up to the lodge now… You’ll have to go up there to check in…” I rode up there, parked, and paused for a moment to just feel good about myself… to congratulate this wise road warrior on another impressive call…

Then, I proceeded to take the next in a sequence of steps that would culminate in my being here… right now… frustrated and weary… not so patiently waiting for the weather forecast to give me a break, so our girl and I can make our break… This is only our third day here, and I already have a distressing case of cabin fever… Worse, rain is in the forecast for later today and tomorrow…

At check-in, I had inquired about grills at the cabins, plus cell phone service and Wi-Fi… See? It ain’t like I wasn’t warned! “No grills. The services are very spotty, I’m afraid… many folks come here to the lobby for all of that… At the cabins, it’s really hit or miss.” Well, at the cabin I drew, it was much more the latter than the former!

What’s more, even when I was able to connect occasionally, the Wi-Fi was agonizingly slow, had frequently dropped connections, sometimes there were ‘unavailable connections’ for much of the day… It was, in a word, terrible! Cell phone service at this cabin was not available at all… I had to ride to another location, usually once a day, in order to call anybody or return calls… How do you suppose Daniel Boone ever managed to do it, anyway?

I stopped by the ‘General Store’ to pick up some essentials… There are plenty of over-priced items in that store to be purchased… but this is not a grocery store… No grill-able meat, for example… no need anyway… no grills, right?

When the nice lady had given me the ‘news’ that there weren’t any grills, I had assumed I’d at least be able to fry a steak on the stove… Nope. I’ll bet a saw-buck even ol’ Dann’el would have drawn the line here! Mercifully, I did find bacon, eggs, bread and sandwich meat… I thought to pick up some butter too, but I forgot the mayonnaise… had to return later for that, ya know…

WAIT!!! I just went out on the porch for a quickie session of inhalation therapy and my final sip of coffee for the morning, and guess what…? There is hardly a cloud in the sky, the temps are quite pleasant, almost no wind… and an amazing thought just popped right into my headbone… Why not go for a ride? WHY NOT INDEED?!!! I’m interrupting this melancholy diatribe to go and do something really, really important… I’ll get back to y’all later…

DDT