Went to the Wall.........I was wrong

[Bigwolf]

I went over to see the replica of the Vietnam Memorial Wall this morning.  It has been here in Cookeville, TN since Thursday.  I got up early and went at 8am to be ahead of any big crowd that might show up. 

I never served in the military.  When I went for my physical, the chief medical officer sent me home and I received a 1Y classification.  I was pretty upset about that for a while. 

In those days I was very much an introvert and had very few close friends.  As a result, I missed the personal tragedy of losing someone I cared a lot about.  Even so, as a few people I did know returned home from Vietnam and I met and became friends with some vets, I heard stories of horror and despair....of anger and bewilderment.  I can't seem to forget the story of a friend that had to shoot a young child because the child was wired with a lot of explosive and walking toward the camp perimeter.  This same story would repeat itself in slightly different details many times.  Life, to me, has always been much more valuable than that but apparently not so with some other societies in this world.

Some of the vets I have met in my lifetime, returned from Vietnam with shrapnel in their legs or other injuries.  One had a couple of bullets in his back permanently because the danger of removing them was greater than leaving them there.  I cannot say that I have met even one vet that has not suffered some degree of mental trauma.  Most, I think, have lasting mental scars whether great or small.

As if all of that was not bad enough, there was "agent orange"......a tool that we deployed extensively to aid our military and only after some years and a lot of suffering realized how much harm it caused our own servicemen.  I wonder how many names did not make it to the Wall but died from injuries suffered as a direct result of having been there.

We use the term "mankind" but I look around and observe and I believe we are anything but.  I know conflict is a necessary part of life.  I know that conflict sometimes has to be sorted out violently but I still see a great tragedy in that.

So I went to view the Wall this morning and I thought I would do that with a quiet reverence and clear eyes...........but I was wrong.  I got the quiet reverence alright but my eyes kept flushing some dirt out.  Sitting here at my computer hours later, my eyes are still having spells of overflowing wet.

The wall has the names of all 58,318 members of the military killed in the Vietnam War. 
Rest in peace and thanks for your service.
To those of you that did serve and are still around to remember it, thank you for your service and I wish you peace in your mind and soul.

Bigwolf

[The emperor has no clothes]

  Vietnam was over by the time I was in the Navy. But I plan on seeing the Memorial in D.C. after Inzane.

[Thunderbolt]

My uncle was flying a cargo plane early in the war and was shot down and killed.  His son, my first cousin went a couple of years later as a Warrant Officer helicopter pilot and he too was killed.  My aunt was never the same. Leo Hester and his son, we called him Butch.  One of the three fathers and sons killed in Vietnam.

https://taskandpurpose.com/3-fathers-and-their-sons-who-made-the-ultimate-sacrifice-during-the-vietnam-war/

[old2soon]

I have a Cousin and a Guy I went to school with that have their names on that Memorial. Sittin here thinkin on it after readin yer post and my eyes appear to have the same problem yours do/did. I posted earlier this year that in Feb 2018 was 50 years since I detached from the U S Navy. 50 years after the fact and I'm still bothered by it-Nam. RIDE SAFE.

[Patrick]

I onderstaand. I've been to the Wall in Dc a few times and have spoken at some gatherings. Its hard.

[Hook#3287]

I was #71 on the last draft pull and President Nixon suspended that police action before I was called.

I've visited the Wall in DC and I would strongly suggest everyone do so.

I found that memorial, and the WW2 one, the most moving.

[old2soon]

I was #71 on the last draft pull and President Nixon suspended that police action before I was called.

I've visited the Wall in DC and I would strongly suggest everyone do so.

I found that memorial, and the WW2 one, the most moving.

               I was in D C July or August and when I got near the Korean War Memorial I Swear the temps dropped 40 degrees! I also believe the Nam Nurses Memorial is rather moving too. But on the other hand D C Has a LOT of memorials. RIDE SAFE.

[Popeye]

Thanks for sharing your post.

Not a Veteran either but I ride with a local Rolling Thunder chapter.  These are some of the finiest
people on the planet.  Couldn't ask to be around a better bunch of guys.

We do our best to honor the fallen and the missing. Our chapter has donated over $500,000
the past few years to helping our vets. 

Thank you to all that have served or are currently serving.

We owe our freedom to you.

Popeye

[Pappy!]

Wanted to fly and had all the credentials including pilots licenses and working on an Aeronautical Sciences degree.
Have a pin in my left leg and also rec'd a 1Y ticket out the door. All in all life has been great but that was a chapter I wanted to be in.

[sandy]

I've lost 2 friends to agent orange. One worked on a Navy supply ship off loading AO onto river barges. The other was a tunnel rat. I volunteered for Nam but stayed in KS taking care of Titan II ICBMs. Glad we didn't use them.

[Hooter]

I didn't go either, had a 362 draft number. So I stayed home and spent the better part of my life as a cop here.

Everyone should see the wall, even young adults. I just lost a good friend to they suspected agent orange.  It was heart wrenching to watch! All vets should be viewed with the highest respect. We owe what we have to these people.

[Rams]

I have visited the "Wall" in DC twice and have paid homage to the traveling "Wall" and what it represents three different times in different locations.   While I do visit the "Wall", I can't bring myself to actually touch it.

I have five friends with their names on that memorial wall.   All that served gave some, some gave all.
We have members in our group that we all owe much thanks to.   

Rams

[0leman]

I too was listed as 1Y in January of '69.  Doc told the draft board I would be a physical liability.   There were 36 of us that went to the draft physical, 5 made it thru and were inducted.  Not  good showing for my classmates and me.

 I lost a number of high school classmates by that time.  I saw  the travelin' wall when it came to our town.   Their names were there.  Really moving.

[Wizzard]

My draft # was 32 and I was prepared to go,, but the war ended just as my # was to be called up. Kid that was year older than me that sat by me on the school bus as I grew up,, went and came home in a bag. 

[Bigwolf]

Meathead,
Thank you for serving in the Navy.  The trip to the Wall is a good and worthwhile plan.

Bigwolf

Thunderbolt,
Sorry for your loss and the terrible burden your aunt had to live with.

Bigwolf

Old2soon,
There is a crushing truth to the phrase "war is hell".  Thank you for your service in the Navy.  Sometimes good people must get involved in war just to keep evil and bad people from making the whole world hell.  I hope that you know that you are one of the good guys.  Life is not perfect.  Life gets messy.  You did your part to keep the bad contained and support good.  Be at peace with that.

Bigwolf

I onderstaand. I've been to the Wall in Dc a few times and have spoken at some gatherings. Its hard.

Patrick,
Yes, very hard.

Bigwolf

Hook,
I have not been to the Wall in DC.  I do believe it would be good for every US citizen to visit our war memorials and learn about the realities of the wars this nation has fought and why we fought them.  I wonder if anyone in this country under 40 knows that before we were forced into WWII, Americans were chanting "peace in our time" and refusing to join war.  We thought that we could be friends with everyone.  Hmmmm....sounds to me a lot like the rumblings of our youth today.

Bigwolf

Popeye,
You are welcome.  I thought it was important to share what was on my mind.  I knew some others here could relate.

Bigwolf

Pappy,
I understand.  I was friends with both the Army and the Air-Force recruiters in my town.  I had already been talking to the Air-Force recruiter planning to enlist when the Chief medical officer kicked me out and sent me home.

Bigwolf

Sandy,
Sorry for your loss.  You played a very important roll even though from the safety of "home' and I thank you for that.

Bigwolf

Hooter,
Sometimes the towns, cities, streets and/or roads of our own nation become like a war zone.  Being in law enforcement puts you on the front lines between good and evil and often without immediate help.  It takes a very special personality to do that well.  Thank you for that service to folks you don't even know.
Sorry for the loss of your friend.

Bigwolf

Ron,
I think that I could touch the name of a friend on that wall but no name comes to mind.  Not having a name to touch.......I do not feel worthy to touch it.  I actually thought about that while I was there and I felt I did not have the right to touch it.  For me, it would have been like trespassing on sacred ground.

Bigwolf

Oleman,
Wow!  You must have grown up in a really tough neighborhood.  I am wondering if you younguns played soccer on a mine field or some such thing.  31 out of 36 failed the physical!  That is a wild number for sure.
Sorry about the loss of your classmates.

Bigwolf

Wizzard,
Sorry for the loss of your friend.

Bigwolf

[RainMaker]

The Wall, the World War II memorial and Arlington National Cemetery all caused me to stop, think and thank those who sacrificed their lives for the freedoms we enjoy.  I had tears of gratitude and sorrow for those no longer with us during those visits.  Might make a nice tribute to head down to DC as a large group after Inzane to visit these hallowed grounds.

[G-Man]

None of the monuments affected me the way the VN memorial did.  At each end the wall is as high as your boot and as you walk towards the middle the wall becomes taller until you can no longer jump to reach the top.  All those names.  All that misery.  All those parents, siblings, and loved ones attached to all the soldiers.  Was too overwhelming.

[BobB]

I too never served but I have profound respect to those who did.  The Vietnam era divided the country like no other time in history.  I was finally called up in 1970 at the age of 26, but also failed the physical.  I had a good friend who just passed away of cancer.  Jack served over there and was exposed to agent orange...

[DIGGER]

Wife and I went to DC on vacation around 2003.  The Ww2 memorial was under construction.    Bucket List I wanted to see Vietnam Memorial while there.    I was not in the military but had 5 high school friends names on the wall that I wanted to find.  It was a crowded day.  Emotions were running  EXTREMELY high.  As groups of people would find the name they were looking for they would bust out crying....my Wife and I would boohu with them.   I found all 5 of my friends on the wall.   Mission accomplished.  I have since found out that Timothy Mahoney, the first of my classmates to die there shortly after arriving there, died from friendly fire.

[Michvalk]

I've seen the traveling wall a couple of times. I have several classmates, and an ex-brother in law on that wall. I haven't seen the whole wall, as I start at one end, and move down, until I can't take it any more. I signed up the day after my 18th birthday, and was in basic September 24th 1969. I was stationed stateside, and was transferred to Guam during the last big push, sending B-52's, 300 a day, to 'nam. I have Agent Orange poisoning, and it's destroying my heart. Hopefully a transplant when the time comes. I have issues with "helping other countries stay free" with all that's going on in the middle east. Vietnam was never fought to win, and their doing the same damn thing again. I'm tired of memorials to our "war" dead.
    Maybe things will change, but, most likely it will get worse, before it ever gets better

[rocketray]

dig around on you tube  for the recordings of the torpedo's supposedly fired at our boats Johnson used as the reason to go to war in Vietnam..a total crock

[Michvalk]

dig around on you tube  for the recordings of the torpedo's supposedly fired at our boats Johnson used as the reason to go to war in Vietnam..a total crock

Yes, it was a total crock. The action in Vietnam started WAY before Johnson

[Hook#3287]

dig around on you tube  for the recordings of the torpedo's supposedly fired at our boats Johnson used as the reason to go to war in Vietnam..a total crock

Yes, it was a total crock. The action in Vietnam started WAY before Johnson

My understanding is the Vietnam conflict was started buy the French government after Ww2 when thet wanted to regain control of their colonial interest.

They were overwhelmed and due to treaty obligations, we stepped in.

Whatever the reason, it was a big time waste.

I was just a year from deciding what I had to do and was conflicted greatly.  Luckly president Nixon ended it and I didn't have to choose .

I have friends and relatives that served and 2 buddies that have passed away from what is believed to be war related illnesses, 40 years later.

[GLGoose]

Back in 2005 my FIL and I did the Rolling Thunder ride on Memorial day weekend in DC. They lived in W. Virginia close to the VA border, so we left from the Winchester HD after meeting up with a hundred or so riders. It was amazing on 95 when we joined a group of what must have been 1000 other bikes headed into DC. In the middle of the pack all I could see in front of me and in my rear view mirror were bikes.

 Seeing the wall in DC was a very moving and sobering experience, in the shadow of the Lincoln memorial, it was something I will never forget.

So, I thank all the vets that came back and those who gave their lives for me and my families freedoms, even if the reason we where there was a farce, those brave men and women paid the ultimate price no matter how they arrived home.

[MarkT]

I thought I was relatively safe as a REMF loading mostly Mk-82 "slicks" and "snakeyes"  on F-111's at Takhli and BUFFs at Utapao.  Had some excitement a couple times as unarmed weapons mechanics we were shot at by sappers on the end of runway arm/dearm night duty at Takhli (N end of the runway near the jungle they were shitty shooters - glad the AK-47 has bad sights - not a good distance rifle especially at night), and some sappers also encroached the perimeter at Utapao.  They sent up the parachute flares on the Takhli incident and went looking but they were gone.  It wasn't until recently I discovered my medical problems since are because the "bug spray" they soaked the bomb dump with at Takhli was Agent Orange.

[DIGGER]

I have been to the wall in DC.  Most emotional charged place I have ever been.            I was in Cabo San Lucas about 15 yrs ago on a fishing trip with my brother in law and we were staying at a small motel that had a courtyard bar in the middle.   There was a group of 5 guys  there also that were around 80-90 yrs old .   They were there fishing also.  I was at the bar getting a drink and met one of the older gents and he invited us to his table.   During the conversation I asked what career path he had retired from.    He said "I made speeches all my life".    I asked "speeches about what?"   He said "During the bombing of Pearl Harbor I was in the Crows Nest of the US  Pennsylvania.  The USS Pennsyvania was in dry dock.  I watched the whole thing from the Crows Nest. "       I WAS BLOWN AWAY!    I shook his hand and thanked him for his service........and bought him a few beers.   You never know who is around you.  The meeting had a lasting impression on me.

[MadSerb]

War is hell. life is a struggle and how we react to the struggles of life is what evolves our soul.  I do not know of anytime in human history where there was "peace on earth". 50,000 died in Nam and probably another 500k at least were directly affected (ptsd, wounds, loss of limbs, schrapen etc). I cannot really find justification in the Nam war.
When I graduated from hi school in LIC, New York in 65 I went directly by choice, into the Marine Corps. I was brainwashed into believing that we needed to stop communism and to install democracy into Nam.  I was with Mike company third battalion, third marines infantry division. I was in Danang (on the outskirts that is), went on patrols every day and night. Did not have to worry about getting shot because they were poor shooters but, the booby traps were every where and marines were stepping on them every day and losing limbs or life. My angels were with me many times when I would spot a booby trap before it got me. I was somewhat lucky until another marine stepped on one which gave me a lot of schrapnel back of my legs. ug. I was at a place called "Hill 22" which was devoid of all vegetation (agent orange) where I stayed most of the time. AO I am sure has affected me but VA turned down that attempt.  But, I survived. VA pays me (at the full disability level) for my efforts in the form of money and free medical health. I won't visit any of those war memorials cause it is toooo hard for me.  The last couple of years I have ridden my valk and Boss Hoss rarely as I prefer to stay at home with my two loving Yorkies that keep me grounded.  Nam was stupid war as was the Korean war, ww1, ww2.
I hear others who naively say that they need us (those young uns that go to Afganistan and Iraq. Ug, same story all over again.
Well, that's enough rant. My Yorkies just jumped up onto my lap and need my attention or is it me that needs their attention?

[Wilder]

Thank you, Bigwolf.  Well said.

I served in both the Marine Corps and the Navy, retired Navy chaplain; 28 years total service.  Got a little beat up and the VA says I'm 100% disabled.  I might walk funny, but I don't ride with a limp.

Been to the wall many times, traced names, cried, remembered things that some say are best forgotten; but that's not true.  The best therapy is to talk about it and cry when needed.  When we keep the garbage bottled up, it doesn't ever go away and makes us sick.  It's not manly to cry, but it can be helpful in the right time and place. 

Prayer and forgiveness are the other elements of healing.  It is our souls more than our bodies that need healing.  The body is temporary.  Not so the soul.

Blessings,
Dave Wilder
(AKA Rev. David S. Wilder, LCDR, CHC, USN(ret))

[Bigwolf]

Thank you, Bigwolf.  Well said.

I served in both the Marine Corps and the Navy, retired Navy chaplain; 28 years total service.  Got a little beat up and the VA says I'm 100% disabled.  I might walk funny, but I don't ride with a limp.

Been to the wall many times, traced names, cried, remembered things that some say are best forgotten; but that's not true.  The best therapy is to talk about it and cry when needed.  When we keep the garbage bottled up, it doesn't ever go away and makes us sick.  It's not manly to cry, but it can be helpful in the right time and place. 

Prayer and forgiveness are the other elements of healing.  It is our souls more than our bodies that need healing.  The body is temporary.  Not so the soul.

Blessings,
Dave Wilder
(AKA Rev. David S. Wilder, LCDR, CHC, USN(ret))

Rev. David Wilder,
Thank you.
I too believe we need to talk about these things.  The magnitude of pain and suffering is very evident in the replies to this small post.  Just imagine how many people are suffering in silence.  When we hold such painful memories inside, they twist our thinking and harden our hearts.  Only by sharing our stories, thoughts and feelings can we free our hearts and minds to see and enjoy the wonderful things around us.

Bigwolf